I really do know IABU.. but I can't help feeling like this even though I'm trying hard to battle it. I expect to get flamed, maybe I need that, but i'd really like to just work out why I feel this way.
Ex Dp of 7 years, 2 kids. It's been a rocky breakup, lots of drama. Lots of trying again, then inevitably he lies or it all goes tits up one way or the other. Because of this I said no relationship, i want to be single i don't have the time or emotional energy to deal with any of it anymore. But we're still attracted to one another and we were doing the odd family day out, sometimes it would end up getting intimate.
Anyway, so the last time that happened was a couple weeks ago. We since had an argument or two and weren't speaking but then I had a shock the other day when this woman just appeared (he lives three doors away so I unwillingly see comings and goings) and now is appearing to practically be living there.
My gut reaction was loss, huge upset. It's ridiculous because I chose to not be with him, it was the right decision after how he has treated me. But I have an irrational desire to want him to be intimate again, express his feelings etc. I know it's wrong.
If I was to guess the reason, I think it's because he has treated me so badly with lying and cheating, that I feel really hurt as if my worst nightmare would be for him to know treat this woman really well. I almost want him to try and cheat on her (that was how his last relationship ended, him doing that) as if it will prove to me yes he is a bad person, no it's not just me.
Does that make sense? I don't want to feel this way But I really feel in so much turmoil.
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AIBU?
To want ex to cheat on his gf with me.
55 replies
MySordidCakeSecret · 30/04/2017 20:40
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NavyandWhite ·
30/04/2017 20:49
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pudddy ·
30/04/2017 21:08
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