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To think this isn't normal and my doctor should help me?

(13 Posts)
BackToOldWays Sun 30-Apr-17 10:52:37

Posting here for traffic. If MNHQ think it should be moved, I'll get it moved.

Background is that I have a longstanding history of depression, self harm, suicidal ideation and eating disorders. I had previously considered myself recovered, and hadn't self harmed for around 4 years.

Last night, I had an argument with my (now ex) boyfriend, and he made the decision to break up with me.
I ended up self harming for the first time in absolutely ages, probably since I was a teenager in fact. I thought I was recovered, but apparently not.
I called my doctor this morning (who knows my history) , and briefly explained the situation. He just said that relapses happen, and it's normal. No offer of help whatsoever.
AIBU to think that he should have offered some kind of help?

LadyPW Sun 30-Apr-17 10:57:10

Well I'd say he's right in that relapses do happen, but I'd have hoped that he'd have either offered help or pointed you in the direction of counselling or something. But as I've experienced a really crap doctor on the mental health side of things in the past I'm not remotely surprised.

HooplaLoopla1 Sun 30-Apr-17 10:59:11

Is it possible he's seeing it as a relapse based on one episode which was as a reaction to something significant happening? Rather than a relapse into a cycle of behaviour iyswim?

user1493543657 Sun 30-Apr-17 11:08:49

Maybe he was trying to reassure you that you don't need help? Not very helpful of him though.

How are you feeling now? Do you feel you need help, or do you think it was a one off due to the break up?

Recovery isn't always black and white. An occasional relapse in self harm behaviour at a difficult time after so long doesn't mean you aren't recovered, it's just that you went to a familiar coping mechanism under stress. It doesn't mean the other stuff is back.

dinosaursandtea Sun 30-Apr-17 11:21:45

Make a proper appointment and go in. If you're worried that this will result in a proper backsliding, then maybe (if you aren't already) think about a short dose of antidepressants? If it was easier to get counselling on the NHS, I'd suggest that - but given the waiting list and how well you've been doing, that might not be necessary.

I'm also a recovering self-harmer, and I occasionally slip up. It's OK! It doesn't undo all the AMAZING work you've been doing in recovery. It's just an ingrained response that you can generally deal with but this was a really intense situation. I don't think that treating it like an addiction, where once you've started you can't stop, is useful in this situation. Trust yourself. Remember all those times in the past few years that you've wanted to self harm and didn't. They're worth so much more than one incident.

BackToOldWays Sun 30-Apr-17 11:22:54

I don't know if I need help. I'm scared I'll start to do it again, and go back to how I was when I was a teenager. When I was eating breakfast this morning, I also had a passing thought that there was a lot of calories in it, which worried me. I don't know what i expected the doctor to do to be honest.

BackToOldWays Sun 30-Apr-17 11:24:27

Sorry, cross post! Thank you dinosaursandteaflowers
I was planning to go into the GP's, but I don't know if I will, he seemed pretty eager to get rid of me on the phone.

user1492115574 Sun 30-Apr-17 11:25:13

Mental health services are pushed to their limits. Have you tried self help such as crisis kit when your distressed or mindfulness. Remember you have choices and you can make the choice not to self harm and find another way to release your distress. Good luck.

Bishybarnybee Sun 30-Apr-17 11:26:04

Confused, how did you manage to speak to your doctor on a Bank Holiday Sunday?

Iamastonished Sun 30-Apr-17 11:27:08

Yes, I wondered as well Bishy

VerySadInside Sun 30-Apr-17 11:31:41

You were really lucky to be able to even speak to a dr, we have to book 3 weeks in advance and there's no chance of getting one on the phone, especially on a Sunday!
What did you want the dr to do? I'm guessing this is a GP not a psychiatrist? You obviously weren't injured enough for a&be so not in need of emergency medical care. Get an appointment and referral if you feel you need to speak to a counsellor.

BackToOldWays Sun 30-Apr-17 11:32:05

Emergency number- for crises

Bishybarnybee Sun 30-Apr-17 14:49:19

Could you make a self care plan to get through the weekend then go in and ask for help on Tuesday?

I think because you focused on the doctor being unreasonable, the thread has focused on that - whereas really the issue is that you have split up with your ex and feel absolutely rubbish. Which anyone would, but obviously you feel very vulnerable because of your history.

Sounds like you need a bit of handholding right now - either online or IRL.

Is there anyone you can spend some time with today?

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