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To be totally pissed off with Dp being a yes man

(7 Posts)
Iusedtobecarmen Sun 30-Apr-17 00:19:12

Been with Dp many years. He is not what you would call a conversationist. He is like this with most people he knows well. I've gotten used to it even though I am very chatty.
I will come home from work he will give me a kiss and say hello Etc but doesn't really want to chat further. He likes watching telly.
He doesn't like social media and says it is for saddos. I don't use social media either as it's not my thing

However,one dc has joined a sports club and he is almost constantly whatsapp parents about next competition. Seems to know all their names and is being very sociable. I wouldn't care one bit but a) he apparently hates any social media or texting at any length and b) he doesn't actually talk face to face to me.
I feel proper narked which sounds childish but he is coming across to total strangers and some kind of Mr fun guy when I think generally his social skills are appalling!!
It's almost like he doesn't have to sit and chat to me as I know him and what he's like but he has to put on some show for bloody strangers.

WorraLiberty Sun 30-Apr-17 00:27:57

Hmm it sounds as though he's discovered something that suits him, because he doesn't have to talk face to face.

In other words, he wasn't a fan of social media to begin with, but now he's given it a go, he likes it.

It also sounds as though his new found social media skills are making you insecure, because he's found a way to feel comfortable chatting.

You've been with him for many years, so you must know it's not a personal thing and that typing words when you choose to type them, is completely different to being conversationalist in real life?

I'd try to be pleased for him that he's finally found an outlet to speak to other people, that doesn't involve chatting face to face because that's something he obviously struggles with.

And btw, Mumsnet is social media.

Iusedtobecarmen Sun 30-Apr-17 00:37:17

I hadn't thought of that worry. Maybe you're right you know.
Lol about social media I hadn't thought of that either! I guess I mean involving showing pictures or yourself and family and what you are up to. I don't like that.

ChaseAvenal Sun 30-Apr-17 00:56:16

Your DP sounds like me. I struggle with social interaction in real life and though there are aspects of social media I really am not keen on by extension, I also it can be very valuable, for reasons Worra has pretty much covered. It can still be draining and challenging but I have a lot more time to process it all before responding. I love texts and emails for the same reason.

ChaseAvenal Sun 30-Apr-17 01:03:26

YANBU to be upset that you're rarely able to have conversations with him though, that must be difficult.

StillHungryy Sun 30-Apr-17 01:17:11

Same as me in person I'm quite shy and placid but I can make people laugh and interact through whatsapp etc no problem

Iusedtobecarmen Sun 30-Apr-17 11:56:24

I don't think he struggles with social interaction I just think mostly he can't be arsed.
We went to a work dinner dance of his a while ago and he went out of the way to make conversation with people he didn't know. I made a joke after and he said 'well you have to make an effort '. Funny that,when he doesn't try and make an effort with me. I come in sometimes itching to talk about my day but he likes it all wrapped up with 5 min and doesn't want any details or to talk at any great length. He normally suggests sitting down to watch a film or tv show.
It's missing me off as it's almost as if he can't be bothered with me but goes out of his way to be a nice guy in front of others.
He's going out later with dc for some sporting thing and seems super happy and no doubt he will be all chatty. I feel like telling them all he's a grumpy fucker at home!

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