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WIBU to contemplate donor sperm to have another DC

(5 Posts)
SaintEyning Sat 29-Apr-17 20:36:11

I realise this makes me sound like Helen Archer... am single parent to DS (almost 7). Financially fine, we are about to downsize to a much more simple home, but aim to keep having a lodger to help with bills etc. Have never felt as though I wanted another child until the last year.

I could afford to pay for IVF and donor sperm from savings and receive 11 mo full pay for maternity leave.

However, I am very nearly 40. I never felt broody before DS (who is my adored and petted child) until the last year and I am now seriously considering this as an option.

Am I Mad? Or U? Or something else that will pass? I cannot stop thinking about having another child. My bro is 6y younger than me and we have zero relationship - WIB dooming my existing and potential children to the same? Thanks for any and all comments.

ImperialBlether Sat 29-Apr-17 20:38:09

I wouldn't. I can understand in some circumstances but I wouldn't want to tell a child that I had no idea who his/her father is. I wouldn't want to be that child, either, who didn't know his heritage. I know I'll get flamed on here, though.

SaintEyning Sat 29-Apr-17 20:57:56

I'm entirely unsighted as to the law re heritage - but I think there is a means by which children post 18 can access that info on their BF. Much more to investigate but thank you for putting the child's perspective in.

SquinkiesRule Sat 29-Apr-17 20:58:43

If you really want another then go for it.
My oldest two are 6 years apart and were very close growing up and are now separated due to living apart for work.
Nearing 40 this is the last chance, either go for it, or forget about it all together. It's not like you can revisit it in a few years like the younger Mums can.

UppityHumpty Sun 30-Apr-17 00:29:22

If you want to do it with your own eggs you should ideally go to the clinics now. I personally think you should go for it. The donor is NOT a father, that would be you (you're mum and dad) he's just some guy who jizzed in a cup. If you want a child, and you can love it, go for it!

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