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To wonder about all the entitled woman in mumsnet stories?

(26 Posts)
theclick Sat 29-Apr-17 17:50:45

Hopefully this makes sense.

But so much of AIBU is filled with stories of entitled women (SIL's who blatantly take advantage; other Mum's who push DS's out of trains so they can have the carriage for themselves and their DD/DS...; MIL's who have clear mum's who think nothing of leaving DD with another helpful mum for the evening and then slagging off her food choices for DD even though the mum has been helpful (taco-gate).

Where do these women come from? What makes them so bloody entitled?

And surely the law of averages suggests some of them are on mumsnet?

theclick Sat 29-Apr-17 17:51:04

Title should say women, not woman!

Sleepdeprivedredhead Sat 29-Apr-17 18:01:05

There aren't that many mnetters? grin
Sometimes it's clear there are two sides to a story. Other times ... well. People can be awful one minute and save a life the next.

Myrobalanna Sat 29-Apr-17 18:01:13

I don't know the answer. In a way I can see how someone young and clueless can just not get how things work - with experience/age people tend to realise they were sometimes a bit shitty when they were younger.

However I've been dealing with a work situation which involves relatively wealthy older women writing to complain about a particular situation and the list of reasons they have for demanding special treatment has been a complete eye opener. After many years on MN I've heard of a LOT of crappy people doing crappy things and via these complaints I'm now seeing the mindset come alive, in a way.

It's not 'this is bad, what are you going to do about it', it's 'my life requires that you cater to my individual needs and I want to know what you are going to do to resolve my particular problem' - but the problems are totally unrelated to the service in question and there is literally nothing I can do to make the problems go away.

What I mean is that there's an epidemic of really shitty non-critical thinking where people obviously feel hard-done-by in some way and will turn anywhere, without any sensible thought, and demand a solution. In their minds it's not their responsibility, it's YOURS. Anybody else's.

You see it everywhere in MN in the threads about horrible people getting friends to work for free or taking the piss with childcare arrangements. I don't know how we've got here but it's desperate. How you get to be middle-aged and have absolutely no perspective on what's reasonable or right is a complete mystery.

Fruitcocktail6 Sat 29-Apr-17 18:01:28

Also, do they really exist? I never meet anyone remotely like that in real life.

On MN we are only getting a one-sided view, maybe the entitled woman in the story would have something similar to say about the OP.

Myrobalanna Sat 29-Apr-17 18:02:30

Sorry, that was rather a disjointed rant! I got carried away by outrage.

ScarlettFreestone Sat 29-Apr-17 18:07:14

You need to remember that all these stories have other sides and perspectives.

That's not to say the OP is lying but just that we never have all the information and background.

We only get a tiny snapshot and let's be honest none of us behave well all of the time.

RobinHumphries Sat 29-Apr-17 18:10:37

I don't know where they come from. My personal experience was at the cinema a few years ago. Can't remember what was on but it was something fairly new out and popular. We were in the queue for the tickets and at the front were two women with 3 children between them and they were insisting on being sat together. Needless to say the remaining seats couldnt cater for that but one of the women wouldn't have it and suggested that they sold her seats that had already been prebooked or that the cinema staff were to go in and ask someone to move. It was obvious we weren't going to get a seat so left before I could see the outcome.

Sparklingbrook Sat 29-Apr-17 18:21:37

I think 90% of stuff on here is made up TBH, Or at the very least embellished.

NavyandWhite Sat 29-Apr-17 18:25:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin Sat 29-Apr-17 18:27:26

Lots of people on MN are entitled

Just look for a buggy vs wheelchair on bus thread.

Persemillion Sat 29-Apr-17 18:28:25

I believe some tales in here are exaggerated too.

Soyamilkisniceintea Sat 29-Apr-17 18:29:00

I knew a woman who would demand lifts to and from work. That was entitled!

soapboxqueen Sat 29-Apr-17 18:29:04

The point is, we are all capable of being shitty to one another. Some people make a habit of it. For most it's a one off where we're having a bad day and we did/said something that in hindsight (or having it spelled out to us) wasn't ideal.

Ginslinger Sat 29-Apr-17 18:30:00

there are only 6 of us on mumsnet but we're really really busy

ScarlettFreestone Sat 29-Apr-17 18:36:05

Gin gringringrin

CigarsofthePharoahs Sat 29-Apr-17 19:41:32

I used to work in retail, I've met some very entitled people in my time.
You can tell a lot about someone by the way they treat people they think are less important than them.
Thankfully most of my encounters with over entitled twunts have been fleeting.

Witchend Sat 29-Apr-17 20:47:17

I think we have to most of the time on (particularly) AIBU realise that we are getting one side of the story.
For example, I suspect the train one went along the lines of:
Other Mother: "Would it be okay if you used the space in the carriage over there, as I have to sit with my toddler?"
Child: "Where? Oh, yes that's okay."
Child goes to move, mum goes mad about it.

That's how most conversations on a similar vein I've ever heard go. People usually ask politely, people usually are fairly helpful.

But then I sometimes think I live in a parallel universe to MN. I say to my dc that if you assume that people generally mean to be nice, and react accordingly, then people are generally nice, and that's what I've found. If they mean to irritate you then there's nothing more irritating for them for you apparently not to notice.
Yes, you do get entitled people, but not half as often as on here would lead you to believe.

Ylvamoon Sat 29-Apr-17 20:57:11

The power of the chat room! Here, anyone can air frustration, idealism and day dreams of their perfect little world without fear! (Ok some are judged harshly, but one can quietly watch the derailing of a thread quietly and without any consequences.)

theduchessstill Sat 29-Apr-17 21:22:31

Sorry Witchend but it didn't go like that, but how I described on my thread grin.

I often think things I read on here are exaggerated, but then every now and then something happens that I would probably take with a pinch of salt if I saw it on here.

I do agree that it's all just a snapshot and you don't know, perhaps even if you were there, how it looked from the other side . And instances of entitled behaviour do not make a person entitled through and through.

darwinsbabe Sat 29-Apr-17 21:42:11

I really did wonder that until my MIL and SIL (my MIL's other daughter in law...not even her daughter) treated me like dirt during a very difficult period in my life. I am pretty pragmatic and very drama free (very close to my own family and have had the same friends for many many years) and I was incredibly hurt by both of them. I don't speak to SIL and I'm civil to my MIL because it's necessary for my DC. My DH thinks I should get over it but honestly I feel so aggrieved I struggle to see how I'll ever get past it.

So to answer your question, they exist and they're fuckers

LornaD40 Sat 29-Apr-17 21:45:27

These things definitely happen in RL (as a school we get it ALL THE TIME), but I think most posts as mentioned upthread are embellished, and incredibly one sided. I cringe at some of the advice as I bet in so many cases the OP is not accurate.

It's cringey and frustrating that these entitled women (and men) and instilling these entitled values into their children.

CheesyChristie Sat 29-Apr-17 21:50:40

I don't think it's always women. Maybe it's just causes more suprise when a woman acts entitled. Men very often seem to act in a very entitled (to me anyway) manner but you just accept it.

chuckling to myself remembering the time my colleague was yelling down the phone "I can't change the law just because you fucking want me to, I don't know how many more times I can tell you this"to the editor of The Sun

ThymeLord Sat 29-Apr-17 21:56:39

As sparkling says, I think most of the stuff on here is made up.

TellMeItsNotTrue Sat 29-Apr-17 22:06:26

I wonder how many are the same entitled person, its got to have happened at least once where 2 different users have unknowingly posted about the same person

I've also seen a few blush posts about baby brain/naivety/bad day/hindsight is a wonderful thing etc who admit that they were that person but aren't normally like that or have grown up since then

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