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AIBU?

Can they really do this?? - CM related.

124 replies

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/04/2017 11:12

Now...before I start I have absolutely no objection to paying CM- at all.
I love my DSDs unconditionally.

DSD1 there is no CM as she is in her early 20's, DSD2 is 17 and this is who the maintenance is for.

When DSDs mum applied for maintenance she made out she had tried to set up an agreement with DP (she hadn't btw) so they went straight to attachment of earnings- this was 8 years ago, we have never not paid it, and the attachment of earnings order is massively relevant here.

So fast forward to this month- DP hada heart attack four weeks ago.
As a result, this month he was due to be paid SSP- about £80 a week.

The CSA have taken every single penny of it.

We have nothing to live on....literally nothing.

I know we need to pay CM, but basically it means our 4 yr old is going to go without, and when I say without....we are going to be scraping the cupboards, and I have no idea how I am gonna pay the rent and bills.

We don't have savings, don't claim any benefits and DP will be back to work next week....we need money!!

We would have had no problem payiing a bit extra next month, when DPs back on a wage, we could have sorted something out.

AIBU to think that this can't be right??

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 29/04/2017 11:17

contact the CSA.

And according to my experience getting an attachment of earnings order for CSA was not easy, ex was given many chances to pay maintenance thro CSA vluntarily before he hasd an attachment or earnings order.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/04/2017 11:17

Oh and before I get the usual questions....

We have nothing we can sell- not even the telly is worth more than about £20.
I cannot claim benefits as I work p/t and dp full time- his usual wage means we don't get anything exept child benefit.
I can't any extra hours.

OP posts:
Crispbutty · 29/04/2017 11:21

Can your dp ask his employers for a salary advance.
If he explains the situation they may help.

NapQueen · 29/04/2017 11:21

I think you and he are in quite a vulnerable situation if one month of no money has left you in a sutuation where you cannot even put food in your 4yos mouth.

Cafechocalatte · 29/04/2017 11:21

There should be a "protected" amount of income so if a person hasn't earned enough on a certain week/month then the csa can only take any wages over and above the protected amount. If that makes sense?!

Berthatydfil · 29/04/2017 11:22

Wow that seems really unfair.
I can't see how you can be expected to pay what you don't have. If they were still a family then regrettably the family would have suffered the loss.

Hopefully someone who knows a bit more will be here soon but is there any way your dp can go for a reassessment if you've been paying the same amount for 8 years and you've had a child in that time it's probably overdue.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/04/2017 11:22

That's the thing fuzzy.
I've been with him since before DSDs Mum went for child maintenance, and he was paying (by agreement) the mortgage in lieu of CM.
The problem is he never got anything in writing (even though I told him to)
(No way he could have afforded both btw)

She just went to them and said "look he hasn't ever paid" despite him payng massively over the CM level on the mortgage.

I know all this sounds like a crock- it ain't.

My main point is....at this current moment in time- we have zero money, and a 4 year old, I didn't think the CSA could essentially starve one kid, in favour of another, who at least has her mums wage this month, we don't even have that.

OP posts:
Cafechocalatte · 29/04/2017 11:22

Definitely phone csa

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 29/04/2017 11:23

Food bank? You will need to work out who can refer you. Maybe the health visitor as you have a little one.

Get DH to talk to CSA about reassessing his maintenance for this month. Might DSDs mother be amenable to returning some of the money?

CheeseandGherkins · 29/04/2017 11:25

Even if the csa agreed that he should pay less, it wouldn't happen anytime soon. Food bank, family, friends and dh should ask his employer.

Cafechocalatte · 29/04/2017 11:27

Csa cannot take ALL a person's earnings. I used to work for them. Kick up a massive fuss!

JudasInTheTescoVan · 29/04/2017 11:28

Did you actually speak to the csa in the weeks before this happened to tell them of your situation as how would they have known taking the full amount due would leave you with nothing?

Also I agree with a pp, attachment of earning orders aren't the first thing they use to get payments, they're difficult to get and ime there has to be real problems getting payment before they'll go down that route.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/04/2017 11:29

Thanks Cafechocolatte - that's what I thought (hoped). We'll have to get in touch on Tuesday (fucking bank holiday!)

Crispbutty His work are not exactly helpful at the best of times, so I doubt it!

NapQueen I know, but for years we were barely scraping each month, and savings weren't on the top of the list.
I just got a p/t job after 5 years of being a SAHM (not a luxury btw- I only worked in a shop, and the childcare costs alone of going back to work would have put us in the red every single month- as a family)
So the wages from that will start a savings pot.

Thanks Berthatydfil I was a bit scared of postin tbh, because I know on MN any mention of CM from the other side is an immediate flaming.

It's not DSDs fault, or her mums, but this all seems a bit unfair- especially as it's just one month- then everything goes back to normal!

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 29/04/2017 11:30

Why on earth did she apply for maintenance if she was getting over and above it already? Presumably he's not still paying the mortgage and CS? So she's worse off? Seems a strange decision.

JMKid · 29/04/2017 11:30

It takes months for them to get to the stage of deduction of earnings, they will never do it straight away.

Cafechocalatte · 29/04/2017 11:31

Yes the csa should have issued a letter saying he is being assessed to pay cm. if he didn't pay they would issue a warning letter. Depending on the case officer, there may be a second warning letter, then they issue a letter saying they will take it from their earnings.
This should all happen before an order to the employer is sent out

CheeseandGherkins · 29/04/2017 11:32

You don't expect them to give any money back in a week do you?! If anything it would take months, so you shouldn't expect to rely on that. That's if they even agree. It might be paid back over the months as the money would come back from his child's mother.

You need to make other arrangements

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 29/04/2017 11:33

Did you speak to the CSA or the ex before this happened?

If you only work part time, can you not pick up any extra hours? If things are that tight that not receiving a months wages leaves you without food then maybe a new look at finances is overdue and maybe
PT isn't actually affordable.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/04/2017 11:34

DP is shit at hiding stuff- any stress or money issue is always writ large on his face - Plus I used to check all hispost because he'd just open it and put it down, not to be read again for 2 weeks, and we nearly got in the shit.
If he'd been getting letters from the CSA I'm 99% sure I would have seen them.

As I said- he was paying the mortgage on their old house direcctly, in lieu of CM (her choice) so wasn't not paying anything.

OP posts:
Imstickingwiththisone · 29/04/2017 11:35

I don't know exactly how a CM attachment of earnings is processed but your DH's employer processes it each month / week once the order has been issued. Other AOEs are a percentage of your earnings, if this is the case with CM then your DH should see his employer about it immediately.

myoriginal3 · 29/04/2017 11:37

why use cm. just say child maintenance. I was thinking child-minder.

FFS can nobody type full words anymore?

Imstickingwiththisone · 29/04/2017 11:41

Op it says on here that the maximum that can be taken is 60%of net income. I think your DHs employer have calculated it incorrectly, but find the original order to be sure so he can go to them about it

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/children-and-young-people/child-maintenance/child-maintenance-2012-scheme/child-maintenance-enforcement/child-maintenance-enforcement-deduction-from-earnings-orders/

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LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/04/2017 11:42

Yeah- I know we won't get it back anytime soon.
Just wanted to know if it was a legit thing they could do.

WRT to being a precarious situation.....yeah I know.
We've had a lot of bad luck- loads of stuff gone wrong, DPs heart attack has felt like the final fucking straw really.

Never seemed to have enough money to start saving.

It's not like we spent it on stuff either....tv is nearly 10 years old, furniture is from my old charity shop, haven't been on a holiday that wasn't 3 days at a cheap festival etc etc

I just started a part time evening job- already doing as many hours as possible, can't get anymore.

I'll be honest....I really don't want to go the food bank route.
It's not that I'm ashamed, its just seems stupid when we are employed/ will have a wage next month, and there are families who don't even know when the next pay cheque is.

It's suh a stupidly temporary situation, just needed to know it's not ok for the CSAto take all the money!!

OP posts:
GinAndTalented · 29/04/2017 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HermioneJeanGranger · 29/04/2017 11:45

I know from experience that CSA don't seem to take into account loss of earnings through sickness.

My ex had an attatchment of earnings order, and whenever he was off sick and got SSP instead of his normal pay, they took the full amount anyway. The CSA will have calculated that he can afford, say £300 a month. So that's what they'll take, regardless of what he actually earned.

In my experience, even if you do contact them to complain (you should be able to contact a caseworker on a Saturday) they won't give you any money back, you might just pay less the following month to "make up" for it. You won't actually get any money from them.

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