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Train home

(26 Posts)
CuppaTeaTeddy Fri 28-Apr-17 16:26:00

On the train home. It was busy and loads of people got on at my stop. All seats ended up taken and I was one of the last on.

I stood up in the carriage and walked up and down to see if there was anywhere spare for me to sit. There wasn't.

I then asked a young boy (about 17/18) who was sat In a single seat (with a sticker above which was about giving the seat up for pregnant/elderly) if he would mind standing. He stunk of weed and looked high, rather than have a disability. He asked where I was going to, which I told him, and he then said he wouldn't give up the seat because I was getting off at the next stop anyway so it's pointless.

I don't usually mind standing as my journey is only 15 mins but I was tired and had bags to carry. AIBU to expect him to move?

MrsELM21 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:28:19

Hmm a tricky one, yes he had no reason to be there, but equally apart from being tired you didn't really have a reason to have the seat either, yes it might have been courteous but I don't think either of you were particularly entitled to it

CuppaTeaTeddy Fri 28-Apr-17 16:28:30

...I walked off after he said this and went back to the door area to stand.

ExplodedCloud Fri 28-Apr-17 16:28:31

Are you pregnant, elderly or disabled?

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Fri 28-Apr-17 16:28:46

maybe if you hadn't so many shopping bags you'd have been a bit quicker to one of the seats....are you pregnant or elderly?

<awaits massive dripfeed about invisible disability>

CuppaTeaTeddy Fri 28-Apr-17 16:29:03

Forgot to mention, I'm 29 weeks pregnant. Should have put that in the OP.

MrsELM21 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:29:35

Oh I see, in that case yes he was unreasonable and you should have had the seat

ExplodedCloud Fri 28-Apr-17 16:29:50

In which case YANBU

BitchQueen90 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:30:18

Are you pregnant or elderly?

If not then he wasn't being U not to move, yes it would have been polite of him to do but nothing to make a fuss about.

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair Fri 28-Apr-17 16:30:28

I was going to say YWBU but obviously not now! Poor you - did you actually tell him you were pregnant though?

BitchQueen90 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:30:44

Sorry xpost, he was rude then.

ZilphasHatpin Fri 28-Apr-17 16:31:28

Yes you were UR to expect him to move just because you asked unless you are obviously elderly or pregnant or disabled. If he was high then he may have been feeling ill or head spinney so better to sit.

CuppaTeaTeddy Fri 28-Apr-17 16:31:48

Sorry for not explaining properly. Thought I put it in the OP until i re-read.

Didn't actually say to him I was pregnant but it's obvious. Have a big bump now and was wearing a tight top. Didn't want to make a fuss out of it, just thought it was off.

ZilphasHatpin Fri 28-Apr-17 16:32:20

Oh xpost! He probably should have moved. But we also don't know what he had going on either.

Chloe84 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:36:10

What a little twerp. Let's hope he needs a seat badly one day and meets a fucker like him.

Was there a conductor you could ask? It doesn't sound like he has a disability as he used the excuse of your one stop journey to not give you the seat, rather than an explanation that he was disabled.

Spikeyball Fri 28-Apr-17 16:36:58

If it is obvious you are pregnant and he wasn't disabled (which you can't be sure about) he should have moved.

DontBeASalmon Fri 28-Apr-17 16:39:02

I think you should have asked a general question, not asked someone specific. You have no way to know if he needs a seat or not, weed or no weed.

I took the train back home with my DH one night, I was heavily and obviously pregnant. I stand up, he sat down. He got a few "tut" from other standing passengers, but he was recovering from surgery and being bounced around was excruciating for him, whilst I was absolutely fine. (no seated passengers offered me a seat either grin )

I don't like asking a specific person for a seat, you never know they might need it more than you do, or they might be rude and insult you according to various threads on this forum. Bus passengers seem awful!

Elphaba99 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:39:29

YANBU. If he had an invisible disability he could have said so, but he made a crappy excuse. Did nobody else offer you a seat? sad

CuppaTeaTeddy Fri 28-Apr-17 16:39:32

I'm not saying he definitely didn't have a disability, if he did then fair play to him for not moving. But it just seemed rude and his excuse was pathetic. I probably could have spoke to the conductor or someone but didn't seem the hassle as I was 'getting off at the next stop' haha

UppityHumpty Fri 28-Apr-17 16:54:11

Happens a lot on the Tube. You do have to be firm. I'm sure if you'd insisted he would have eventually given it to you.

alltouchedout Fri 28-Apr-17 16:59:14

You have no idea whether or not he had a disability. Did you ask anyone else to move, or just the young person who smelled of weed?

WorraLiberty Fri 28-Apr-17 17:01:12

You should have mentioned you are pregnant.

It might be obvious to you, but not necessarily to everyone else.

There was no reason for you not to point out you're pregnant and then politely point to the sign.

Sandsnake Fri 28-Apr-17 17:26:30

Of course he should have moved. No brainer. I regularly sit in priority seats (am actually in one now!) but always make sure I am aware of people getting on and off so that I can offer the seat of appropriate. It's part of the deal when you sit there.

I work in London and commute from the Home Counties. Despite the south east's reputation for unfriendliness, when I was pregnant I was offered a seat graciously every time I needed one. Maybe I was just lucky (or very big...!).

DontBeASalmon Fri 28-Apr-17 17:49:35

so do you offer the seat to anyone Sandsnake? How can you guess if someone has a hidden disability or not?

Let's not even mention pregnancy, I would never comment about a woman's pregnancy unless the head is popping out, it's too risky grin

Allthebestnamesareused Fri 28-Apr-17 18:39:27

Did you specifically say As I am pregnant can I please have this seat and point to the sticker because (whether he smoked weed or not) maybe he didn't realise you were pregnant or that he was in a designated seat?

I suspect you might not have otherwise someone else would have probably offered if he was still refusing in those circumstances.

Next time maybe just be a bit more clear and assertive.

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