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To speak to ds's teacher about this?

(27 Posts)
Placeanditspatrons Fri 28-Apr-17 15:59:29

Ds is 7 and in year 3. We are waiting for ed psych assessment in the next couple of weeks as well as having a private referral. He has issues with his sight but on top of that it's become apparent that despite being bright he has an issue with visual processing and muscle strength in his hands. His handwriting is virtually illegible and his hands shake and hurt when he writes. He cannot draw even the simplest of things. He is slightly better if he has a photo or the object in front of him but it I said 'draw a car' he wouldn't be able to.

We think he is dyspraxic plus possibly he has dysgraphia and maybe a processing issue too. He also is on the spectrum.

His teacher this year doesn't like him much. Several times she has told him his drawing is 'rubbish' and made him do it over and over. It's no better. It doesn't matter how many times he does it. He isn't choosing to produce nursery level drawings, that is the best he can do.
This week they are colouring to make a giant mural. She held up the items coloured by ds and said 'X has rushed and been thoughtless' and told him to do it again.
If a child was struggling with reading or spelling or numeracy it wouldn't be acceptable. Why is this acceptable? Plus it's bloody colouring. Just colouring with felt tips.

Ds has been crying this afternoon. He knows what he produces doesn't look like everyone else's work. He is bright and well behaved and it is frustrating as he cannot record anything very well. Even in numeracy where I would say he is very able it is frustrating because he cannot show his working out even though he arrives at the correct answer. He works with the more able children but the output he creates looks more like a reception child's work.

Aibu to go in and mention how upset he was? I'm actually very annoyed about it. I don't like teachers holding up work to the class and saying it isn't good enough. What purpose does that serve? It just embarrasses the child and ds cannot help it.

Wolfiefan Fri 28-Apr-17 16:02:15

It serves no bloody purpose at all. Poor boy!
If he wasn't trying and she quietly pointed out that he could do better then fair enough. That's not the case.
NO teacher should humiliate any child. It's unacceptable.
I would have a word. Can the teacher explain what happened and why he's upset?
I'm so sorry. sad

Bubblesagain Fri 28-Apr-17 16:02:58

Yanbu embarrising a child like that in front of the class isnt on and surely she knows now that he's doing his best, I think you should definetly have a word

Blondebombsite83 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:05:14

As a teacher YANBU. However, I would advise caution. Make sure that you know exactly what was said and be open to the fact that your son's perception may be different to what happened (especially if he is on the spectrum). If it is something he is particularly sensitive about then it may have magnified the incident in his mind.
Having said this, if he was upset, then the teacher should know so that they can at least talk to him about it, ease his worries and where necessary, apologise. Good luck.

Placeanditspatrons Fri 28-Apr-17 16:06:51

I know his work looks rushed and crap to anyone else. I do know that. However I also know he does practice his handwriting at home every day and it makes not one iota of difference. Nor do the differently pens / pencils / grips / coloured papers. He just cannot do it. He can manage a few words then his hand shakes and it goes downhill from there. His spelling and content is good if you can make it out but it is difficult. I know it must be hard having a child like him in the class. What do you do with a reasonably able child who cannot record? Cannot set things out? I do not know. But I do know he's not doing it on purpose.

Joolsy Fri 28-Apr-17 16:07:11

YWNBU to speak to the teacher as she has made him upset

Placeanditspatrons Fri 28-Apr-17 16:08:34

Ds is fairly black and white in his reporting of events in my experience but yes I know children can embellish things or perceive them differently.

Blondebombsite83 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:10:39

Can they allow him to use a netbook or tablet to record some of the time? Is there a senco that you can speak to? There is no rule about how work should be recorded and it is in their interest to proxide opportunities for recording that suit everyone (ofsted will like it apart from anything else).
When you have diagnoses this is much easier to ask for unfortunately.

Blondebombsite83 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:12:15

To be fair, if you want the truth in an incident in the classroom, the children on the spectrum will usually give it...in great detail. Bless them.

Placeanditspatrons Fri 28-Apr-17 16:12:47

Yes I've spoken to the senco. The class teacher is aware of his issues too. Originally we thought it was his sight that was the problem but whilst that doesn't help there is clearly something else too. The senco says she hasn't seen it before...

Blondebombsite83 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:15:29

As far as the senco goes...make a nuisance of yourself. If they've not seen it before then they need to find out about it. The ed psych may help with this (although they are very hit and miss).

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 28-Apr-17 16:15:54

My son was your son. He is now in his 20s and working in his dream job but still has the writing of a 6 year old, he is dyspraxic, has dysgraphia and has Asperger's. I spent years fighting teachers like the one you describe but he did encounter some teaching staff that really got him and what made him tick too.

Speak to the teacher, YANBU.

Pinkandwhiteblossoms Fri 28-Apr-17 16:16:23

I'm surprised you haven't said something before now to be honest. It's May on Monday ... has this been going on since September?

zzzzz Fri 28-Apr-17 16:17:09

Does he have a dx of ASD and are school aware and making accommodations?
Has he seen an OT?

I would talk to her in the first instance, and then email saying what you understand from the meeting.

If I wasn't happy I would then talk to the HT.

zzzzz Fri 28-Apr-17 16:17:51

What does he do hells?

requestingsunshine Fri 28-Apr-17 16:20:58

I would speak with the teacher and make them aware of how upset they have made your ds. My ds had a teacher who didn't take to him and very obviously so and I had to go in at one point to speak with him. It seemed to get better once the teacher knew I was onto him. He was also shaming my ds with his work in front of the class to the point my ds wanted to give up on it all altogether. We are back on track now , almost, but don't let it carry on it will just lower his self esteem more and more if it does.

I get that teachers sometimes don't take to a particular child for whatever reason, but it should not be obvious. The child (and parents) should be blissfully unaware of this IMO.

ColdAsIceCubes Fri 28-Apr-17 16:26:55

My ds is on the spectrum and also had issues with his writing. We were referred to an OT who came into school and did hand strengthening exercises with theraputty like rolling sausages out of it and cutting the sausages with a knife and fork.
They came in different strengths if that make sense, some are really thin and pliable, getting gradually harder to manipulate which helped the muscles in my sons hands strengthen.
It wasn't a miracle cure, and his writing is still not great but there has been an improvement. My ds also uses a writing slope in class to help with fatigue in his hands, see the SENco and see if they have interventions that can be put in place.

Lowdoorinthewal1 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:31:39

I would say he definitely needs to be learning to touch type and then doing most of his recording on a word processor.

It is not uncommon at all for autistic children to have really significant difficulties with writing. My pupils practise their handwriting as a separate entity so they will be able to write a legible note on a post-it or fill in a form in the future. Other than that virtually all their recording is done on a laptop. Where the use of a laptop is not possible (maths SATs etc) we will scribe for them where necessary.

Why such a big deal is being made of drawing and colouring in Y3, god only knows.

Placeanditspatrons Fri 28-Apr-17 16:33:30

pink I've been trying to get him help for two years.

I think the handwriting is actually the least of it - it's the fact he cannot set anything out. Things like a spider diagram are all on top of each other.

Pinkandwhiteblossoms Fri 28-Apr-17 16:41:14

No, I mean about this specific teachers attitude towards him, not the help with academics.

Foxyloxy1plus1 Fri 28-Apr-17 16:42:05

It's good that an ed psych is involved and that may help to clarify what more the school can do to help your ds.

How is he when using a computer? Is he able to type well enough to use it profitably? Maybe voice activated software would help.

It does sound as though his teacher doesn't have much knowledge or understanding of ASD and associated conditions. I have a major issue with the lack of SEN training for potential teachers.

If you are having a private ed psych assessment as well as an LA one, may I just caution that LAs place much more emphasis on the report from their ed psych.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 28-Apr-17 16:42:48

@zzzzz

His job is quite specialised, he is a falconer he doesn't need drawing or colouring skills luckily smile but he does need good maths skills and although he does need to write down each bird's weight every day his work colleagues ask him for clarification if they are not sure of the figures he has written. He can stand in front of huge crowds of strangers and talk about the birds for hours, he know the subject inside out but he cannot go out and talk socially, he can take people out for experience days but finds going to the pub impossible.

Pinkandwhiteblossoms Fri 28-Apr-17 16:45:22

hell

I actually love your DS grin

TheRealPooTroll Fri 28-Apr-17 16:52:25

Is it possible he isn't doing his best? I wouldn't blame him if he feels his best will still be a long way off what the others ca do. And it doesn't sound like the teacher is particularly encouraging.
I would mention that he was upset and ask if she can suggest any ways to boost his confidence and encourage his drawing and writing efforts. I very much doubt she will suggest telling him they are rubbish and it may make her think of things like designing on laptops etc.

ASDismynormality Fri 28-Apr-17 16:58:31

My DS is 8. He has ASD, dyspraxia, specific learning difficulties but verbally is an able child.

When your son was assessed for ASD did he see an OT? When my son was diagnosed he got a long list of recommendations for the school to implement, did your son?

My son is very hypermobile. He was given some exercises which his TA does with him daily. His writing improved massively but probably not until the start of yr 4. DSs reading has just taken off. He has had a lot of support and suddenly it's really working. Your son needs support too, hopefully the Ed psych will help.

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