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More 'am I being over sensitive'

(56 Posts)
Pinkandwhiteblossoms Fri 28-Apr-17 10:42:54

Had an interview earlier this week and was offered a position. I got some really lovely feedback including that I am a 'wonderful role model.'

Relayed this to DH later who laughed rather unpleasantly I think.

Am I being prickly or should I talk to him about it?

DonaldStott Fri 28-Apr-17 10:45:31

I think I would laugh if someone relayed that about themselves. He was probably joking.

I think yab a little over sensitive, unless he said something like 'are you fuck a wonderful role model'

RedSkyAtNight Fri 28-Apr-17 10:46:19

Why do you think it was unpleasant?

My DH would have found the remark amusing and probably tried to make some witty comment!

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Fri 28-Apr-17 10:47:55

Is this part of a wider pattern of laughing unpleasantly, passive-agressive digs etc?

PeaFaceMcgee Fri 28-Apr-17 10:49:22

Only you can tell whether the laughter was unpleasant or not. Mocking laughter is worrying and I would be asking him if there's something he wants to talk about as he doesn't seem to like me very much!

Chavelita Fri 28-Apr-17 10:50:28

Honestly, this is one of those situations in which asking the internet makes no sense at all. You know your husband, we don't. You know whether he's supportive of your career, we don't. You know whether he finds other people praising you problematic, we don't. You heard his tone of voice and saw his expression, we didn't. You know whether he has form for undermining you, we don't.

It could be anything from a wry joke to an element in a longterm pattern of undermining and belittling - but no one can tell you.

What I find oddest about this is that you weren't sure of your own response at the time, but that it's bothering you enough to ask an internet forum...? Were you hurt? Did you think he was making a joke?

Joolsy Fri 28-Apr-17 10:51:05

I'd be quite offended actually, though it's probably something my OH would do hmm. Sounds similar to something that happened to my friend - her counsellor asked her to get her partner & teenage daughter to write a list of what they think her qualities are, and they both laughed.

Pinkandwhiteblossoms Fri 28-Apr-17 10:51:22

I think I was expecting 'well of course you are, darling, look how calmly and serenely you have raised our little moppets'

Yeah I was being over sensitive hmm grin

Pinkandwhiteblossoms Fri 28-Apr-17 10:51:56

Well don't reply then chav! Honestly! confused

onalongsabbatical Fri 28-Apr-17 10:57:01

Pinkandwhite I think you need to read chav's post again, because she's making all the right points!
You must have felt there was more to the remark otherwise you wouldn't be asking, can't you examine your own relationship and his tones of voice and attitudes more deeply and try and see what it is - if anything - that's really upsetting you? Because one un-contextualised comment is pretty meaningless to all of us out here.

Chavelita Fri 28-Apr-17 10:57:39

Right. I agree you're 'over-sensitive'.

onalongsabbatical Fri 28-Apr-17 10:57:52

Or one un-contextualised laugh, rather.

onalongsabbatical Fri 28-Apr-17 10:58:39

Chav grin

Chavelita Fri 28-Apr-17 10:58:48

Sorry, that was meant to have a grin after it to make it plain that I'm sure you're a lovely role model to your moppets.

UppityHumpty Fri 28-Apr-17 11:00:48

To be fair I would have laughed too. How does the interviewer know you're a good role model? They've only met you that day!

redshoeblueshoe Fri 28-Apr-17 11:02:23

Yep your response to chav shows you are over sensitive

Pinkandwhiteblossoms Fri 28-Apr-17 11:14:59

Well they didn't - I've been working there a while, the interview was for a slightly different role.

QuiteLikely5 Fri 28-Apr-17 11:18:11


You are over sensitive- demonstrated by your response to other posts!

PeaFaceMcgee Fri 28-Apr-17 11:21:03

Oh fgs. Why does this totally pointless and horrible ripping-apart happen so much on MN?

OP - congratulations on the job offer, it was a lovely comment to give you. Are you taking the job?

Rufus27 Fri 28-Apr-17 11:24:25

I think Chav's comments were quite fair.

Rufus27 Fri 28-Apr-17 11:26:08

Sorry, post too soon.
OP I too can be over-sensitive, so I do empathise. Have you looked into getting some support, CBT etc? It's something I'm considering as I've realised I spend far too much of my life over thinking!

Botanicbaby Fri 28-Apr-17 11:27:00

OP I think you are indeed being 'prickly' about it, to use your expression.

Agree with chav that only you can answer whether your husband was being jokey or rude to you on this one!

I hope it was the former and congrats on the job and the lovely feedback.

Pinkandwhiteblossoms Fri 28-Apr-17 11:36:17

I don't think I need CBT because of a post on here!

I am not offended or anything but I genuinely don't know why someone would take time and effort to tell you your post is pointless as that's also pointless - BUT, I'm not offended by it! smile

TheNaze73 Fri 28-Apr-17 11:38:05

I agree with chav

Hassled Fri 28-Apr-17 11:44:43

I think regardless of the relationship history, if anyone I was close to laughed when I said I'd been described as a wonderful role model I'd be bloody upset. Because the laugh implies they don't think you are a wonderful role model - you're either a mediocre one or a crap one. It's unpleasant and unnecessary - all he needed to say was "that's really nice" or "and so you are" (unless obviously you're routinely shooting up in front of your kids grin) .

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