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Brother-in-Law

(58 Posts)
Callalily1234 Thu 27-Apr-17 23:02:49

Live in village about 10 mins walk from DH's B + SIL. They spend most of time abroad but BIL comes back regularly to his house: 10 mins away from us.
Despite having home in village he turns up almost everyday "to play the piano" [he has an electronic keyboard in his home] and then expects to stay for supper. No warning at all. Just turns up. If door not locked he just walks straight into our home. Has adult daughter and son with families living locally.
When he needs a wee he goes in our drive (we have 4 loos in the house).
AIBU to want to stop all this?

icelollycraving Thu 27-Apr-17 23:03:52

Grim. Lock the door.

Tapandgo Thu 27-Apr-17 23:08:15

Gross - you and your DH need to tell him it is unacceptable and needs to stop .........and lock the door

Callalily1234 Thu 27-Apr-17 23:14:10

Thanks for support: I agree!

LilacSpatula Thu 27-Apr-17 23:16:22

Why does he piss on your drive? Eurgh!

Bunbunbunny Thu 27-Apr-17 23:20:05

Go round his and wee on his keyboard grin

And lock your door!

LexieLulu Thu 27-Apr-17 23:21:36

What the hell? Why does he wee in your drive? Does he know you know?

Hand him some bleach and a bucket

Shewhomustgowithoutname Fri 28-Apr-17 00:07:13

I would have presumed that BIL is used to indoor plumbing! Heavens what a thing to do. Do you have children who could see this. Do you have any neighbours who could see him. Totally disgusting thing to do. I would not want someone who had so little idea of civilised behaviour in my house.
Tell DH you are locking the door and will not let BIL in until he can behave in a decent manner.
He is totally gross.

Freyanna Fri 28-Apr-17 00:43:25

He wee's in your drive and expects to be fed every night!

He's not your pet dog.

Why doesn't he go to his adult children's houses?

I think your DH is going to have to have a 'wee' word with him.

Elfieselfie Fri 28-Apr-17 00:50:53

Fuckinghell that's gross!

PerspicaciaTick Fri 28-Apr-17 01:06:22

I was going to say that perhaps he gets a bit lonely - then I saw that he wees on your drive. No amount of loneliness excuses that.

FrostyPopThePenguinLord Fri 28-Apr-17 01:19:21

Do like my father does for cats that crap in his garden and turn the hose on him/water pistol.....might at least wash some of the piss away....

highinthesky Fri 28-Apr-17 01:23:09

Is he fully compos mentis?

WildKiwi Fri 28-Apr-17 06:13:17

He wees on your drive? Why?!! (I probably don't actually want to know...) You're definitely not being unreasonable about wanting to stop that!

(You're not unreasonable wanting to stop the rest of it either, but the driveway thing really stands out...)

FrancisCrawford Fri 28-Apr-17 06:27:20

Lock the door

Lock the piano

Tell him to learn to hold his piss till he gets to a toilet.

Or ask him if he has seen a doctor regarding his compulsion to pee anywhere other than a toilet.

Ceto Fri 28-Apr-17 06:43:43

So how does your husband react to all this?

SenoritaViva Fri 28-Apr-17 06:48:21

No, some warning about supper and peeing in the drive. Urgh.
Look at him and say 'time to leave we're having supper and there isn't enough for you too'.

'You can't come and play the piano tonight, DH and I are planning a long session on it and I won't have time to wipe it down for daaaays'

DearMrDilkington Fri 28-Apr-17 06:49:30

Why does he wee on your drive?!

SenoritaViva Fri 28-Apr-17 06:53:07

Session = raunchy sex session, not plinky plonk playing...

SaorAlbaGuBrath Fri 28-Apr-17 06:53:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaorAlbaGuBrath Fri 28-Apr-17 06:53:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford Fri 28-Apr-17 06:53:59

If he was a dog you'd say he was marking his territory!

It does sound like he's either very socially inept or he s trying to assert dominance

Reow Fri 28-Apr-17 06:56:46

How fucking weird.

Does he have all of his marbles? I'd be going out for dinner a couple of nights a week and locking the door when I'm home. Get him out of the habit.

Fucking bonkers.

highinthesky Fri 28-Apr-17 13:16:16

Look at him and say 'time to leave we're having supper and there isn't enough for you too'.

This is very inhospitable (I'd go without myself to accommodate a guest) but makes the point. The only reason BIL does it repeatedly is because he always does! So from tolerating all to nothing?

What's described is not normal behaviour. D/w DH and put the onus on him to do the necessary with BIL

8misskitty8 Fri 28-Apr-17 15:07:16

For starters , Passing on your drive is disgusting and I'd be telling him as well as handing him bleach and a bucket.
Just wandering into your home and using your things is rude as is expecting to be fed.
You might just have to take a deep breath and tell him that.

What have you said to him when he pees on your drive which as well as being disgusting is an arrestable offence? What is your DH saying about this, it's his brother .

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