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to ask for a dedicated MN name for ...

(21 Posts)
QueenofEsgaroth Thu 27-Apr-17 19:47:05

those charming couples who view maintenance as optional.

Last on the list, not like the mortgage which must be paid as agreed or the electricity or the taxman but more like an evening out or a new outfit - you know a luxury you spend on if feeling flush and skimp on or avoid completely if not.

You know the ones who throw private maintenance agreements out of the window the moment their first baby is born, like the other dcs no longer count or initiate slashing cut backs when blending families because new wifey wants a big house and firmly believes he would never ditch her when the going gets cliched.

Usually the same ones who think anything above the required CSA amount is a heavenly act of heroic generosity rather than a joke of a minimum legal requirement.

If I talk about a cocklodger you know exactly who I mean and I feel that wankbadger (though appropriate) is too broad a descriptor for this special corner of society.

Any suggestions (to help my bamboozled logic chip overcome FML with good humour) or AIBU?

Imbroglio Thu 27-Apr-17 19:54:42

let me see... it has to capture the right pitch of aggrieved self pity, with a topnote of smugness over new situation

JustAKitten Thu 27-Apr-17 19:58:45

"Cunts" sounds fine to me

QueenofEsgaroth Thu 27-Apr-17 20:07:47

cunts does trip off the tongue, but still there must be some combination of cool girl meets schmuck equals combined sociopathy that will bring snigger relief...

hoopdeloop Thu 27-Apr-17 20:35:10

I quite like cuntweasel

RavioliOnToast Thu 27-Apr-17 20:36:36

cuntschmucker-ers

RavioliOnToast Thu 27-Apr-17 20:37:12

arseholios

elQuintoConyo Thu 27-Apr-17 20:38:52

Cuntbungling spunktrumpet is apt, but doesn't exactly trip off the tongue.

Arsecork?
Dickweed
Buttmunch
Fuckwit
Knobnash?

chocolatesavedmysanity Thu 27-Apr-17 20:40:14

I vote cuntweasel

harderandharder2breathe Thu 27-Apr-17 20:40:18

I like hoopdeloops suggestion of cuntweasel since they're weaselling out of paying anything and obviously they are a cunt

elQuintoConyo Thu 27-Apr-17 20:40:51

Or just a simple but fabulous 'douche' (or douchebag) as my American friends say.

Short, snappy, apt, not sweary, accurate.

And you can extend it to 'a douche of your magnitude could cleanse a whale's vagina'.

MyLittleBoyBlue Thu 27-Apr-17 20:43:32

I quite like "cuntybollocks" in this situation but am concerned it sounds too twee. But then that would perhaps fit with the smugness level concerned?

FeralBeryl Thu 27-Apr-17 20:54:24

What about a maintenonce?
See attached description - it's a fucking special occasion when they decide to actually pay it...

elQuintoConyo Thu 27-Apr-17 20:58:35

It sounds French and thus quite fancy FerylBeryl (fab name btw).

How about 'cabron'? Or 'hijo de puta' said with a spit grin

Imbroglio Thu 27-Apr-17 21:43:37

Like it Feral.

Birdsgottaf1y Thu 27-Apr-17 22:04:07

Nonce means pedophile, in a lot of circles, though.

SweetLuck Thu 27-Apr-17 22:09:34

I like maintenonce. We're reclaiming it from the pedos.

QueenofEsgaroth Thu 27-Apr-17 22:19:04

So they are a couple of cuntweasel maintenonces then?

Zoflorabore Thu 27-Apr-17 22:24:00

Twit and twat- one for male one for female.

Or

Spunkmonkey

QueenofEsgaroth Thu 27-Apr-17 22:38:37

Cuntweasel Twit and Cuntweasel Twat

like the Jezza Kyle version of tweedledum and tweedledee?

QueenofEsgaroth Thu 27-Apr-17 22:42:03

Schmuckweasels?

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