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To feel so alone and sad

(12 Posts)
charley30 Thu 27-Apr-17 19:08:14

Been with partner for 16 years have one child . I used to love him but he lives a totally separate life to me . I feel he has destroyed the person I was . Iv tried to tell him in the past now I just don't care . I feel nothing about anything and I blame him . He has taken the joy out of my life by being emotionally detached from me . He spends all h time in a separate room watching TV. The only words he says to me are 'are u alright' never phones me during the day . I have been ill for a few years and ended up with anxiety and depression . I think he's the problem . I was always affectionate and outgoing I am a shadow of my former self . I resent him so much . Please be nice

EvonneGoolagong Thu 27-Apr-17 19:15:26

I'm so sorry you feel like this. It sounds a horrible situation and a hard place to break out from. Do you have support nearby who know how to are feeling?

EvonneGoolagong Thu 27-Apr-17 19:15:59

*you are feeling?

mashaandthebear Thu 27-Apr-17 19:16:01

Can you not leave him as you're so unhappy?

DissonantInterval Thu 27-Apr-17 19:16:42

Oh Charley that just sounds utterly miserable. And you truly can feel more alone in the wrong relationship than you can actually on your own.

Interestingly my depression lifted when I left my ex. And interestingly I've not been depressed in the 10 years since I left him.

What are your options? It doesn't sound reasonable to carry on like this flowers

ShiningArmour Thu 27-Apr-17 19:18:38

What a miserable existence, you should leave and start a new life, I bet you'd feel better.

OboePlayingImmortalRabbit Thu 27-Apr-17 20:31:46

charley So sorry you feel this way flowers

I know this sounds daft, but what would you like to happen? Any idea?

charley30 Thu 27-Apr-17 20:52:29

Hi all thank u for your kindness . Rereading my post and I just sound the way I feel . Sad !! Iv always got up and got on with things . But being unwell has let me see things differently . He does nothing for me apart from taxiing my child to places as I don't drive and I put my foot down and told him he had to as it was imp . He thinks that doing these small things makes him a great dad . But the emotional distance between us is obvious . It's like looking after 2 children .i spoiled him wen I loved him he was different then but when our child came along it really showed me what a useless self centred man he was . When I got ill . He promised to care for me but he went back to work and phoned his sister who came once . No I have no support . Iv learned to manage myself as I realised no one cared when I was Ill and my child needed me . I am on my own anyway I just feel I have wasted my life and I look at other couples who help each other through the tough times and enjoy the good times . Iv done all the hard work with my child and he walks about telling everyone of how proud he is . I did that though not him . To the question what would I like to happen ? I like him to walk away and leave me in peace to get on with my life and maybe start to like myself again and maybe meet someone who would love me for who I am and give me what I need . I don't ask for much but I don't think I want it from him anymore !

OboePlayingImmortalRabbit Thu 27-Apr-17 21:46:56

Oh sweetheart. I think you know the answer. Maybe you need to be the one who walks away. Not easy, though, is it?

charley30 Thu 27-Apr-17 22:46:11

No it's not easy . I'm scared of hurting my daughter but I'm feeling so hopeless about everything . I need to find my inner strength .

OboePlayingImmortalRabbit Fri 28-Apr-17 01:21:24

Of course you don't want to hurt your daughter, charley. But you're not doing that - you want to make things better for you both. I hope things will be better very soon.

junebirthdaygirl Fri 28-Apr-17 07:25:18

Is there any way you could get some counselling for yourself. It would help you get clearer in your head what you would like to do and how to gain happiness in spite of him and his miserable ways. Then you would be in a better place to make a decision..Do you do anything for yourself now..see friends..join a club?. Im just trying to see how you could bring a little joy into your life right now that is not depending on him.

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