I'm really confused and scared that maybe I'm a vile victim blamer but I've got to talk about this somewhere.
I'm in a FB group that's kind of parenting focused though over the 5 years or so that's it's morphed quite a bit into more of a general support/body confidence group. The members are almost all female but a couple of male partners/husbands have been added. It's an amazing place to be and I've made some incredible friends that I see almost daily through the group, and got some unbelievable support when I needed it most.
It's just come to light that one of the men in the group has been having online/emotional/sexting affairs with at least 7 of the women and has sent dick pics or "fishing" messages to many more. He has very obviously targeted women who were in difficult situations (relationship breakups, domestic abuse, body image issues etc) and is in my opinion a nasty predatory arsehole.
That said, I'm really struggling with what's being claimed in the group now, which is that all of the women are completely blameless and were victims and in no way responsible for what were basically affairs with someone they knew to be married. I'm not very comfortable with the brow stroking and reassurance because... I think they do bear some responsibility for their own actions. My sympathy lies entirely with his wife and kids!
It's pretty clear to me that the only reason it's come to light is that some of the women found out they weren't the only ones and all of a sudden decided it was actually wrong...
But I can see that this POV is probably victim blaming and that's SO FAR from my usual take on things that I'm really really confused
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
to think these women are not the entirely blameless victims in this situation?
15 replies
AyeReet · 27/04/2017 16:31
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