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Mil parking when on holiday

(143 Posts)
Flowerwords Thu 27-Apr-17 12:46:59

Mil lives in central London and regularly goes away for long periods at a time say 6 weeks. Because of road maintenance etc she feels she can't risk leaving her car in the roads surrounding her home for fear it will be towed away if they do any work on the road.
So every time she goes away (at least 3 x per year) she brings the car to us and leaves it in a local station car park that doesn't charge. We are just under an hours train trip from London. She never gets the train always coach as cheaper then we have to collect her from a local town and take her to pick her car up. She has just refused to get train directly to the station to get her own car btw.
We do not have room on our drive for her car btw this has been a past battle.
She is highly demanding about this and expects everyone to drop everything when she decides she wants to pick it up. Today she has just phoned demanding we arrange to pick her up tonight to do it having arrived back yesterday. This is not convenient we both work and have 3 children who include 2 school age with after school activities tonight plus a toddler.
To clarify no she never combines it in anyway with seeing her grandchildren, no she never has or does help us in anyway. Her standard line is "it's our duty to do as she wants".
So AIBU to be a little miffed and think she should pay airport parking like the rest of us or leave her car at home.
Also her other child lives in London and could surely check on said car occasionally? ( she does help other child regularly with child care also despite ignoring our children)
Or I'm a complete cow? (Probably but seriously she has been really rude today telling us her car is more important than our children's clubs)

Flowerwords Thu 27-Apr-17 12:48:04

Oh and I name changed for this as probably outing

FanaticalFox Thu 27-Apr-17 12:49:06

YANBU she is a total bitch BUT you both need to man/woman up - big girl pants on and NO you can get the train luv!! Goodbye end of conversation. Be ballsy!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Thu 27-Apr-17 12:49:23

Ooh a double whammy of a parking mil!

I'd tell her your only duty is to your children and to stop being so ridiculous.

HepKestrel Thu 27-Apr-17 12:49:54

Sorry MIL, we are not available.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Thu 27-Apr-17 12:50:03

"Sorry mil, that doesn't work for us". End of conversation.

Hedgehogparty Thu 27-Apr-17 12:50:20

So for 6 weeks at a time, she parks at a station car park for free - when not using the station at all?
That's enough for me.

RatherBeRiding Thu 27-Apr-17 12:50:48

Of course you're not being unreasonable! Her car, her problem. However, it is up to your DH to say it's inconvenient to pick her up and then make it clear that next time she must make her own arrangements.

Will he?

FizzyGreenWater Thu 27-Apr-17 12:50:58

Sounds like her cutting you off in a fury for telling her that you don't give a shiny shit about her car is exactly what you need! smile

ohfourfoxache Thu 27-Apr-17 12:51:23

The more you do it the more she's going to take advantage.

You need to make a stand.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 27-Apr-17 12:51:52

Mil I am sure you remember exactly where you left it so collect it whenever you want. .

mummymeister Thu 27-Apr-17 12:51:56

She is treating you like a convenience and I guess that is what is so hurtful about this. she is also the reason why so many station car parks that used to be free now are not because people park and then don't use the train.

I don't think she should have to pay for airport parking. but I do think you should be turning round to her and saying that you cant do what she wants now but will arrange another convenient time and in future perhaps she needs to give you a bit of notice if she wants your help.

the reason she carries on doing this is because you carry on jumping to her beck and call.

FizzyGreenWater Thu 27-Apr-17 12:52:04

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut could only be bettered if she was using the P&T spaces at Sainsbury's grin

BiddyPop Thu 27-Apr-17 12:52:21

Parking to see the fallout....

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Thu 27-Apr-17 12:52:39

You need a diagram. Of your mil.

minionsrule Thu 27-Apr-17 12:53:23

Does she ring on your/DH mobile? If so just don't pick it up, she can't ask if you don't speak to her - when she pulls you on it say you didn't hear it or left it upstairs by mistake etc

DancingLedge Thu 27-Apr-17 12:55:08

Text her details local taxi.
Switch phone off.

Wolfiefan Thu 27-Apr-17 12:57:50

She's not your mum.
Let DH deal.
No is a complete sentence!

wizzywig Thu 27-Apr-17 12:59:49

movingon you are making me giggle

underneaththeash Thu 27-Apr-17 13:00:54

Of course you're not being unreasonable. Either offer to pick her up on Saturday, or else she can get the train to the station and pick the car up.

I second switching off phone!

nigelforgotthepassword Thu 27-Apr-17 13:02:03

Where is this station that does not charge?!!
But with re the problem-you are just going to have to say you can't do it at the time she has asked you to, and either, if you want to appease, offer her a time you can do, or, if you want her to stop this, just leave it at 'we can't do it'.
It's madness to run around after a grown healthy adult like this, particularly when she herself has created the problem.

zen1 Thu 27-Apr-17 13:02:52

YANBU, but you are facilitating her behaviour. You (or your DH) need to tell her you won't be doing this anymore. Also, isn't most of central London metred? Does she normally pay for parking outside her home?

GlitteryFluff Thu 27-Apr-17 13:03:58

Stand up to her now. Or your DH needs to. Someone needs to tell her it's not convenient she needs to make her own way.

How does your DH feel?

CMOTDibbler Thu 27-Apr-17 13:09:00

Our station carpark doesn't charge. But it has a grand total of 15 parking spaces, and I would be really, really cross to discover that someone who wasn't even getting the train was leaving their car there for 6 weeks at a time.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Thu 27-Apr-17 13:12:06

A car left for 6 weeks in the station car park would get towed anywhere I've ever lived.

Wouldn't it be terrible if someone reported mil's car as abandoned in that car park? She'd probably stop parking there. How dreadful that would be for her.

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