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AIBU to hate it when people blow hot and cold?

(7 Posts)
MyPatronusIsAUnicorn Wed 26-Apr-17 21:30:53

I don't get it. You either like someone or you don't. If you do, great, have a chat, meet up, be friends. If you don't, ignore or be polite and move on.

But what about the in between. So you are friends. You chat, occasionally socialise. Then they aren't so friendly and you think you must have done something, but you know you haven't so you let them get on with it. Then they become chatty and friendly again. You figure you imagined the unfriendliness. But here we are again when it's quite obvious. The change in tone from greeting someone else (perfectly normal) to you (definite lack of enthusiasm), the standing elsewhere, not speaking when they usually would have done. Perfectly fine until you went over then didn't say another word. All noticed by someone else as well so you know you aren't being paranoid (although she thought it was directed at her until I pointed out this person is perfectly friendly to her, it's when I'm there the frostiness comes across). Just do one!

I can't stand this shit. I'm in my 40s, too old for playground rubbish. This person isn't exactly known for not speaking their mind so god knows what the fuck the problem is if they won't actually say. I actually don't care if they like me or doesn't want to be friendly, it's the hot and cold that annoys me.

Are many people actually like this though?

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 26-Apr-17 21:39:10

Oh yes trust me there are loads of people like this. Acknowledge you when they feel like.

Summerof85 Wed 26-Apr-17 21:41:51

I know exactly what you mean, I know people like this. I'm on a work social whatsapp group, there's some one on it that I didn't know well, hadn't spoken to her. She would comment on things I'd post and be complimentary. She now works in my area, she ignores me and was actually quite nasty, I asked her if there was a problem as she was snapping at me, she walked away! I wish I'd said something else, think I'm going to. She posts smiley photos of herself but I think she is just a two faced bitch!

KatsutheClockworkOctopus Wed 26-Apr-17 21:52:41

Yanbu. I find this baffling . I find social situations difficult at best, and this kind of thing sends me into a tailspin.

Fluffyears Wed 26-Apr-17 21:57:16

I have a colleague like this I talk to her when she has her nice mood but when she is miserable I just get on with what I'm doing.

Teeheeheehee Wed 26-Apr-17 22:11:08

Isn't it awful when people are like that? You've done nothing and get treated like this for no reason.

I would bail.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn Wed 26-Apr-17 22:18:21

katsu I have social issues too which is why I second guess myself but I know that I haven't said or done anything, also confirmed by my friend so it isn't me, but there is still that little niggle that makes you wonder why you are being singled out. We were quite good friends too which makes it even weirder.

My friend said I should ask, I cba really. If she wants to have a cob on then crack on, I'm not fishing for information as to why.

Teehee yes it is. I'm fairly straight forward, if I'm not keen on someone I don't become friends in the first place. No doubt she'll come back sometime, like she did before but I can't see that I'll be very receptive. Problem is our youngest boys are in the same class so I have years of seeing her. And my DS has started asking for hers to come over, which I don't want as he is a bit of a pain (not that she knows I think this at all so that's not the reason grin).

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