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to regret my old high flying, cool job?

(10 Posts)
enidlives Wed 26-Apr-17 16:58:43

After leaving uni in the early 2000s I worked in the media though out my 20s it was a career I choose for various reasons none of them very good ones. I think the main one was that it was how I wanted to be seen, I liked how it felt when I told people my job ands they were impressed. Looking back I can't believe how hard I worked and burnt myself out in a job that paid well but did nothing to deliver on any other level and encroached so much into my personal life I struggled to maintain any personal relationship which isn't uncommon in my previous line of work, especially for women I can't think of any who were happily coupled up during my time in the industry.

When I was first entering the industry more than once an older woman took my aside and said that I should get out and if there was anything else I wanted to do I should do that instead because nobody was happy in the business. I didn't believe them but in time I saw that they did have a point. I am sure some people thrive on it but I see even those that do give up a lot to keep going in a feild that doesn't acknowledge the need for personal time. In the end I did just give up at about 30 because I wanted more for myself by then than a cool job and good money.

I'm glad I got out when I did but I wish as a student and a younger person I had thought more holistically about the sort of life I wanted for myself and had taken in to account who I am as an individual yes I had the aptitude for the work I did in the media but I'm also an introvert who is hypersensitive to stimuli (both a strength and a weakness) if I had understood that about myself I might have seen that working long hours for weeks on end with little time off would not be enjoyable or good for me. I might have seen that while the job sounded cool it wasn't a substitue for a life, for my own creativity and for real relationships.

I regret not putting the energy and passion of my 20's into the work I do now but it is what it is and I do my best at least I have a life now and time for my relationships which I didn't before. Sometimes I still feel bad when I meet people from my old life and I feel like a failure in their eyes but who cares they don't really have time to see me anyway. Other people I know some family members think I am crazy for giving up such a great job.

I'm sure this doesn't just apply to my old line of work but to many, the sort of jobs we all crave when we are young and want to define and prove ourselves but they can become traps?

Aibu to think this?

Pariswhenitdrizzles Wed 26-Apr-17 17:09:04

Of course YANBU to think this OP flowers how do you feel about your current job? Are you enjoying it?

enidlives Wed 26-Apr-17 17:30:56

Yes I do enjoy it a lot more and it is more creative which I love but I do regret using all my youthful energy and drive going down the wrong path for me. I still have ambition and dreams but nothing like the fire in my belly I had in my 20's. I just wish I had taken the time to know myself better before investing so many years iyswim?

I thought I could mould myself into anyone but there are some biological, temperamental things about us that cannot be denied!

I hope the younger generation realise that younger than me.

Pariswhenitdrizzles Wed 26-Apr-17 17:48:08

Oh gosh I completely understand what you mean

If you're suggesting in your posts above that you regret all of the work that you did and the energy that you put into your previous job, please please don't think of it like that flowers it may seem now to you be 'wasted' because you've now moved away from that type of work perhaps, but I promise you that it was valuable smile first of all, it gave you a salary and experience, and it also helped you realise the industries, jobs and sectors that you didn't want to go into, which is bringing you closer and closer to what you do want to do and a career that you do enjoy.

I'm currently looking into going into a new career after resigning from a teacher training course (which 100% definitely wasn't for me, but I felt slightly pressured by family to go into it, among other factors like having a stable and secure career etc.), and right now I'm trying to think about values, ambitions and getting to know myself better in order to go into a career that I do enjoy!

If you don't mind me asking, which area of the media did you work in for your previous job?

Pariswhenitdrizzles Wed 26-Apr-17 17:48:52

*to you to be

dinosaursandtea Wed 26-Apr-17 18:26:31

As someone who works in the media in her 30s, I totally get where you're coming from. I'm married but without kids and I'm knackered! The only social life I have is work-related, and while I love it it really doesn't leave time for anything else. I do love telling people the company I work for, though 😉

Smitff Wed 26-Apr-17 18:31:22

YANBU and you are not alone.

I think a lot of people lose their drive as they enter their 30s and start to think about family etc. Also, physically, 30 is quite far from 21!

Don't be too hard on yourself. It's all a process, that experience has helped you learn things about yourself and would have had other benefits too. Hopefully there's still plenty of time left to continue to grow.

Pariswhenitdrizzles Wed 26-Apr-17 18:33:05

dinosaurs I'm just wondering if you'd mind telling me a bit about what you enjoy about your job, anything you might dislike about it and the general working conditions please? I'm really interested in careers in journalism and media, and would love to have some insight into them from people who work in those industries. I'd be really keen o hear your thoughts if you wouldn't mind talking a little about it please smile

CassandraAusten Wed 26-Apr-17 18:33:08

I worked in a different field to you, but similar in that it was well paid with a 'work hard, play hard' atmosphere. Like you I left when I was 31 and now work in a different field.

I don't regret it though. It was fun at the time and an interesting experience, I met some great people (some of whom I'm still friends with), and the money helped me get on the property ladder.

It's difficult when you're 18 or 21 or whatever to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life. But your experiences make you who you are now smile

Pariswhenitdrizzles Wed 26-Apr-17 18:33:39

*keen to

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