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To think that nobody would come to my funeral

(117 Posts)
forlornalien Wed 26-Apr-17 14:33:35

I see it being nobody other than my children, the vicar and the undertaker.
Obviously I will never know one way or the other but it's a given based on what my life is like.

mousymary Wed 26-Apr-17 14:35:17

That's why I've requested "no funeral" in no uncertain terms.

dataandspot Wed 26-Apr-17 14:36:06

I also have said to my children I do not want a funeral. Waste of money and I don't have people who would want to come to it

C0RAL Wed 26-Apr-17 14:36:24

Well you won't know or care will you ?

So stop worrying about your funeral and make your life more the way you want it .

NeonGod73 Wed 26-Apr-17 14:38:19

Once you are dead you don't care.

Crunchymum Wed 26-Apr-17 14:40:27

If you don't have a funeral what do you do?

My DP seriously doesn't want a funeral but surely 'something' has to be done? And what happens to the body?

BodyformForYou Wed 26-Apr-17 14:40:47

This thread is a bit of a pity party, isn't it?

mousymary Wed 26-Apr-17 14:41:25

I think I will if I am floating around in the ether somewhere (or in purgatory!) and I can hear dh's family making it ^all about themselves" and someone asking if there's a vegan pregnancy meal at the wake and another trying to see it as an opportunity to play their instrument (and then hand out cards with their details on for engagements) which is what happened at mil's funeral.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Wed 26-Apr-17 14:45:02

Same here.
No parents
Or friends
Less for my dc to sort out in the day!!
They know to stick me in a home when the time is right and will have made provision for the cost of the funeral. .

TroysMammy Wed 26-Apr-17 14:49:12

Crunchymum put it out with the bins. Not in a recycling bin though grin

sodabreadjam Wed 26-Apr-17 14:51:32

Crunchy it is possible to have direct cremation where the body is taken straight from the hospital(or wherever) to the crematorium and is cremated without a service. Costs about £1000.

Family can of course hold a service later if they wish.

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers Wed 26-Apr-17 14:53:10

Crunchymum I'm not having a funeral. I have bought and paid for my 'package', the funeral directors will pick me up from wherever I am then I will be cremated with no service and my children will get my ashes, I already have permission for them to be put where I want them.

Smeaton Wed 26-Apr-17 14:55:44

I'd like to think people would have better things tondo than be miserable that I dead. I'm dead. So what? Go have a Nandos, have your hair done, buy a pint or two or something.

Sticking my lifeless meat carcass into the fires doesn't need witnesses.

TwitterQueen1 Wed 26-Apr-17 14:56:58

What a totally miserable thread! Seriously OP, get out there - you know, in life - talk to people, get a job (or a different job), make a difference, volunteer, get a dog.

If you spend you life wallowing in misery you certainly won't find friends.

And as for funerals... I don't how the law stands but I imagine you can be buried in a natural environment with may one or two witnesses and just forget all about celebrating the life of, or remembering, or witnessing or being glad you knew, the deceased.

sodabreadjam Wed 26-Apr-17 15:00:05

Fishin - sounds like a good plan. I haven't left any instructions yet but I think I might give the family the option of a direct cremation. If I outlive my friends, there would only be family there. Shame to waste around £5,000 on coffin, cars, flowers and undertaker's fees. Better they have a nice meal some where and drink a toast to me.

expatinscotland Wed 26-Apr-17 15:04:07

I'm going for direct cremation. Can't see spunking away good money because I'm dead.

Goingtobeawesome Wed 26-Apr-17 15:07:58

I didn't even realise you didn't have to have one. I'll be telling my kids, slight change of plan. Just cardboard box, cremation, job done.

BartholinsSister Wed 26-Apr-17 15:09:24

If you die in hospital your family can leave the hospital to sort out the disposal, saving them the cost and the bother.

xStefx Wed 26-Apr-17 15:11:28

ill come, I love a good funeral :-)

dingit Wed 26-Apr-17 15:13:23

I'd rather no one came, than a load of relatives that didn't give a shit about me while I was alive grin

Blobby10 Wed 26-Apr-17 15:13:40

Same here - in fact, I've told my children that I dont want a funeral - just burn me then scatter my ashes on my favourite beach (when there is an off shore breeze obvs!!). This request is to disguise the fact that I dont think anyone other than children and my siblings would be there sad. Oh and to save money of course grin

Katedotness1963 Wed 26-Apr-17 15:14:08

I feel the same way. I'm deciding between a green burial and cremation. I see no point for any fuss, I saw things at my mums funeral that made me decide I wasn't having any of that crap going on when I die.

dinosaursandtea Wed 26-Apr-17 15:14:41

My mum's best friend died a month before she did and the church was packed. She said afterwards that she didn't think she'd have a funeral like that. When she died - unexpectedly - the church was packed, with a lot of the same people from her friend's funeral. People came up to us and told us how she had touched their lives - even clients from her job as a health visitor a decade ago who passed on their condolences through the office. She may not have imagined it, but she was - and is - missed by so many.

You don't HAVE to have a funeral, but don't underestimate how much people will remember you fondly.

muffinbluffer Wed 26-Apr-17 15:14:54

TwitterQueen it is a sad thread but it is also an honest one which might make people think about things they would rather not and result in accusations of 'wallowing in misery'....you don't know what has happened in people's lives that has lead them to feeling the way they do....some people are ill or disabled for example so are unable to take up any of your suggestions...

floraeasy Wed 26-Apr-17 15:17:42

I don't expect anyone will come to mine either. My family all live abroad for a start. This doesn't bother me one whit, though. At the moment, I am more concerned with choosing a pre-paid package organised so no-one gets stiffed with a bill.

On to you, OP. I think your thoughts about this are symptomatic of a deeper malaise. What's really eating you? Do you feel you have wasted your life? Are you lonely? Depressed? You know logically that you will not be aware of who is at your funeral. So it's something else. Are you depressed? Having a midlife crisis, perhaps?

Have a real think about what your real issue is about this, OP. You can use this feeling to transform your life and/or way of thinking about it.

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