Neighbours are taking the biscuit(37 Posts)
I live in a very quiet area, and we choose this house because of the peace and quiet as well as the beautiful scenery! We've lived here a year now, and I feel like I can't enjoy the house as I'd like to.
One side of my neighbours don't go to bed until late, which is fine none of my business. But I'm often woke up at 12-1am by the sound of her teenager kids running up and down the stairs several times, like they're playing?! She also parks her car in front of our garage, so we cannot gain easy access. My DH needs access every morning, she doesn't answer her door so he has to be very careful not to scratch her car. We've left several notes on her car asking her not to park so close, of which have been completely ignored.
Other side of neighbours, generally lovely but woke up this morning to a racket. We have an extension at the back of our house and they had work men climbing all over it, stomping about. It was 8am, so not too early, but it's besides the point. They did not ask permission to use our extension roof for access, and have happily put a ladder on it to gain access to the neighbours roof. I wouldn't have objected, but I think it's completely rude that the neighbours themselves, and the workmen didn't even bother to ask for access. They also have a really unsightly bird feeder than is taller than their fence, and the birds knock the food into my garden all the time. Fine, but I have a dog who eats literally everything and I'm having to go out every morning and clean up the bird food so she doesn't end up eating it! Neighbour knows too, as she's apologised, but not moved it slightly away from the fence like I suggested.
A house a couple of doors down, keep having late night parties, on a weekday! They moved in a month ago, and they have had 7 parties so far. One went on until 2am, I called the police (101) at that time, and then put my fan on
making myself freezing cold in the process, to drown out the sound of the loud music and singing, eventually falling asleep. I didn't hear anything back from the police, so unsure how much longer the party actually went on for.
I'm trying to be civil, and I'd rather really not have neighbour wars, and I know there are a lot worse that happens in this world. I'm also pregnant, and very snappy at the moment. Probably due to the disturbed sleep by rude awakenings, but I'm sure hormones play a part
AIBU that neighbours seem to be taking the biscuit these days? I'm lucky my DS is such a good sleeper, so isn't disturbed by the noise. If I knew in advance we were having work done, I have always informed my neighbours at least the day before. Respect for your neighbours seem to have just flown out the window. I'm not the perfect neighbour, I have a toddler that screams when he's excited now and then. But he is quiet for most of the days as we are either out, playing games or reading etc.
Actually can't wait for my newborn to arrive, so the neighbours can have some payback.
Anyone else got inconsiderate neighbours? Would love to hear your stories, I'm sure they're worse than mine!?
The only solution OP is to win the lottery and move to place with no neighbours for miles
Well, in the past year, my neighbours a couple of doors down have had several parties, he's one of those people who doesn't realise how loud he is when hes talking, so a quite chat with his mates at 3am in the morning in his back garden is actually a noisy racket! The other side have also started to have raucous parties too, I'm sure their neighbour next door to them with a newborn was ever so grateful for them keeping their kid up half the night, had to scoop a family of dead blackbirds up from the house behind us who decided to do up his garden and didnt check for nests before ripping the hedge down, the house next door having massive arguments with her teenage DC at 2am in the morning, mind you I can't talk, my eldest has a gob on her too. Oh all the neighbours on the cul de sac that park their work and further up from their own houses. Not that there isn't room. They just don't want to disturb their own family when starting the engines up at stupid o clock in the morning. The neighbour who when first moved in asking repeatedly if I had a cat because one kept shitting in her garden. Kept asking as if I had an invisible one. She now has her own cat who I had to continuously shoo out because the little
shit tinker would spray all over my DCs trampoline. But my most favourite one was when they had to call an ambulance for me at 5am one morning, and the arse started yelling at the paramedics to get off his drive (said work and had blocked access outside mine). "How the fuck am I meant to get out now?". He kept ranting protesting. Whilst stood there in his PJ's and dressing gown.
So do you want to swap then OP?
YANBU but I have a feeling that the neighbours weren't even asked by the workmen about access.
Give them the benefit of the doubt and address directly with the workmen. If they were misinformed by your neighbour they will tell you.
Away that sounds awful. I know so many people have it worst, from what I read on here anyhow! We moved from an overpopulated town, to a quiet village, so we didn't expect it to be like this at all. Although I'm very thankful that my neighbours don't go out of their way to be pain!
High I think you might be right. In the end the noise was so loud, as they moved to the front of the house, so we went out for the day. When I came back they were gone, and they have new guttering put up. Il give them the benefit of the doubt, I see the neighbour every few days so il see what she says when I next bump into her.
Ptheres a very good chance that your tiles will have been damaged by the workmen, op. Roof tiles are not very strong, contrary to what people think, so I would have a good check over your roof, before you see your neighbour.
Total nightmare OP and I really sympathise (having been there). Really don't know what to suggest as things tend to escalate in these situations (the sort of people who don't give a crap about noise etc don't tend to take what they'll perceive as criticism very well).
I honestly think the only solution is to move house, though i'd go apeshit over the workmen roof situation and probably the vile bird feeder while I was at it (could you mention that if you end up with a rat infestation you will be billing them along with the damage to your tiles?). Do you have a dropped kerb in front of the garage? Can't the council do something about this? (I won't ask for a diagram as I know how stressed you must be over this and the situation is in no way funny to you). Do you have an out of hours environmental health officer you can contact re. noise (101 are useless in this situation and I think it's beyond their remit unless violence/drunken buffoonery occurs).
Many people these days just seem to be complete tossers who genuinely don't give two hoots who they upset or inconvenience.
Excuse jumbledness of this post - Not had enough coffee yet to kick start my brain.
If they ignore your notes about car and don't answer door id be hammering on that door early in morning when you can't access car, tbh
Plus, keep asking the other one to move bird feeder. Hassle her
Also complain about roof. You sound really nice, but these selfish twats need wake up call from assertive person.
If I were your DH, I'd stop being quite so careful when I opened the garage door.
Where do you live OP, is it London?
But in general yes, the behaviour of neighbours throughout my adult life continues to surprise me. From parties that go on until 4.30am in a terraced house (want to party until 4.30am? Go to a club or hire a venue - don't do it in a terraced house on a quiet residential street), baths at 5am every Sunday that one NDN knew would wake us because we'd told her, running up and down stairs and shouting at 6am etc.
Current NDN has taken to practising her piano at 10.30pm every day. I know it's a new thing because she's shit and for about three weeks would just tap out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She's moved onto something else now.
The guy who lived there before her ran a furniture business from home (unlawfully I think) and would drill every morning at 6am. A call to the council soon put a stop to that at least.
I find it bizarre as I grew up in a flat in London and my mum was always militant about being considerate for neighbours - it took me years to feel comfortable washing my hair or put the washing machine on after about 10pm because the sounds of both would wake up the neighbour downstairs so we just didn't do it.
I think, generally speaking, people are just more inconsiderate these days. A lot are just me, me, me and self entitled. TBH, a lot of new builds are pretty poor too, as the walls are paper thin, and you can hear the slightest thing through walls. That's why I always go for old Victorian type properties as the walls are so good, you barely know you have someone next door. When you have so many issues with different neighbours like you have though, there is little you can do without inviting lots of stress and drama. Moving somewhere where noise is less likely maybe? You can usually get the gist of an area by driving round at certain times of the day to judge what the neighbourhood is like.
They also have a really unsightly bird feeder than is taller than their fence, and the birds knock the food into my garden all the time.
Whats the actual problem here? The fact you think it's ugly? It's too tall? or your dog is eating some seed?
when cereal products are in animal foods fess up - you're just looking for things to complain about.
She also parks her car in front of our garage, so we cannot gain easy access. Is she parked on private land or public? I'd park where she's parking just to make the point.
A tip - the police don't come out to parties. You have to phone the council, despite it being 2am or whatever, and the police accompany them as part of "noise abatement" or whatever its called these days. Unless of course someone is being murdered at the party in which case you might mistake drunken screams and breaking bottles as the sign of a mass brawl
used that one myself
I'd be standing with my finger on the doorbell at silly o clock to get the car moved so I could get something out of the garage. Do that a few times I think she'd get the message.
Not much you can do about the teens I suppose, but I'd have been out like a shot in my pj's shouting at the workmen on my roof, cheeky beggars.
You have to stand up for yourself and make it known you aren't going to be pushed about, or they will all just walk right over.
Do you own the house or can you move once your tenancy is up?
OP, you sound like a gentle person. But sometimes turning the other cheek is not the answer and you need to stand up for yourself. Be polite but firm.
I think tolerance of others also plays a part too, parties at all hours and one NDN doing DIY at stupid o'clock as well as playing the soundtrack to the musical Oliver on repeat, all fing night! Those things are obviously not on.
"baths at 5am every Sunday that one NDN knew would wake us up cause we'd told her"
Sugarcoma - you weren't my neighbour once were you?
My neighbour complained to me about my 'odd bathing habits' once because every other Sunday I used to need to be at work for 7, and as I didn't have a shower, used to have a miniscule bath and get ready for work from 5.45am. I explained the work thing, and I honestly was as quiet as I could be, but that my shift pattern had me getting in at 11.45pm sat night and getting up at 5.45am Sunday, and having done a 12 hour shift and going back to one, I felt at some point I needed a bath! And that I understood they wanted a lie in after drinks with friends
that kept me awake till 3am on their night of downtime. I apologised, because I don't like the idea of pissing my neighbours off but at what point does them wanting a lie in trump me needing to work? Also mentioned that on my weekday days off, I was woken around 6.30 by them getting up and ready for work/school - because I understand that living in a terraced house you're going to hear your neighbours at some point, and got told that that's normal and it's not their fault as they had to work and their kids had to get to school. I was a bit - expected me to be considerate to them, but weren't willing to offer the same to me. I'd have never said anything if they hadn't because I just thought it was part and parcel of having a neighbour.
I sort of also dont think you can complain about someone bathing early.
It sucks. I have a neighbour who did loud banging DIY for 6 months 7 days a week from 7 30 am. Almost drove me mad and has destroyed goodwill (they never consulted or cared). So now I don't have the incentive to keep my noisy boys quiet on that side. Other side lovely and we always consider each other and inform each other of work etc.
Some people are just selfish. Get some headphones and download a rain app. Saved my sanity.
Park your car where they park for a few weeks.
Funny you start off saying you moved to a quiet area. Sounds anything but.
How do you know when your neighbours are bathing? Surely you can't hear that unless they're singing very loudly with the window open?
What is problem with bird feeder - apart from encouraging rats (which you don't mention as a problem)?
Get yourself a bollard to remind neighbours about leaving your garage entrance clear or park in the space outside your garage. I'm guessing if you hear your neighbours bathing, then they get woken every morning by garage doors opening so might be doing it deliberately.
I think people are more hedonistic and less considerate nowadays.
I think you need to choose your battles.
Yes, your neighbours should have asked for access via your roof but it's possible their builders just went ahead without asking/telling them they'd need it.
Seven parties in a month, midweek, with lots of noise is really annoying and unreasonable; keep a diary of it and consider speaking to the council. You might also want to ask other neighbours if they've been disturbed by the noise too.
However - running up and down stairs in the night is a bit weird although presumably doesn't go on for long and doesn't sound that big a deal.
The car parking thing is quite annoying although if she's parking on public land and not actually blocking you in, there's not much you can do about it.
The fact that someone's bird feeder is 'unsightly' really isn't any of your business - they can have a bird feeder in their garden if they want to. You don't get to choose what you can and can't see over your fence. I can see that the food thing is irritating, but presumably it's only a bit of seed? That's unlikely to harm your dog and will probably just emerge fully formed from the other end.
Regarding baths at 5am, that really isn't something you're entitled to moan about. People can have a bath whenever they want. If that's the time they need to get up and get ready, that's the time they bathe. They're not being unreasonable by doing that. That, and teenagers running up the stairs, sounds more like a case of your house having paper-thin walls than your neighbours behaving unreasonably.
Unfortunately, lots of folk think they can just do what they like without consideration for others. I have moved house before now due to the noise when new people moved next door to me. From then on only detached will do.
Things also change, usually for the worst. There are some new people in our lovely, previously quiet road. They are a PITA, noisy, inconsiderate parkers with more screaming grandchildren than you can shake a stick at, who have upset all their immediate neighbours, big time. I'm just grateful they don't live next door to me.
You have a choice to say something being firm but polite, perhaps your DP could do it but being pregnant you might get the sympathy vote!
Otherwise you'll have to wait for postbirth payback!
Just a thought based on my own experience with a current NDN and based on the fact you say the car is making it difficult but not impossible to get out, is it just that you have a larger car/less confidence than some behind the wheel? One of our NDNs (the wife not the husband) struggles to reverse without the full width of the double drive and adjacent parking spaces being free. As soon as something is parked in the parking spaces she goes to pieces!
You do seem to have a lot of little niggles with a lot of people, try to take a step back and consider whether its the combination of it all that is making it worse xxx
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