AIBU about this woman I keep bumping in to?(54 Posts)
This is a very minor aibu. This woman must live close to us, I see her walking down the road quite a lot.
I had just had my DS and was BFing in a local cafe. She was there with her little daughter who is very cute but quite obviously totally spoiled. I have just sat down, starting to try and latch baby so I have one boob out, a crying newborn and am wrestling a coverup as well. Her DD comes right up close to me to the point where I could be BFing them both. She sat in my lap. Asks me why is your booby so red? I laughed and said loudly so the mum might intervene, I am trying to get the baby some food at the moment sweetheart, maybe you could give us some room? Then she's trying to cuddle the baby as I'm latching him, kissing his head, almost pulled him off at one point. I looked to the mum who had an inane smile on her face and she said "oh I am pregnant too so she is curious". She didn't ask the little girl to sit down at her table or move or give us a moment or anything. I sort of shifted in my chair and got DS on and then he was covered by the coverup so we had a bit of a chat about local hospitals. Then the little girl started crying about not seeing the baby and I said I'm sorry darling but he is having his milk. Child erupted and mum turned to absolute ice and just wouldn't talk to me again. Pulled daughter away and turned her back to me
Walking along narrow street, i see her ahead of me, we both have buggies. A family ahead of me were walking and sort of tried to move in for her but not totally as it's a really narrow walk way. This woman refused to stop and the family then walked in the road to let her past and as she passed me (I pulled in to a garden path) she said "too right, hoe rude these people are not to let a buggy past" or similar. But they had let her pass
Her eldest (the why is your booby so red one) is on the monkey bars. My son is also on the monkey bars. He waits while she has 3/4 turns and then goes to have his go. He's nervous to go anyway as he's scared of heights. She starts shouting that it's not his turn, he has to wait, he's not allowed on the monkey bars etc. Mum and this time Dad are stood there, again with inane looks on their faces smiling at the precious daughter. In absense of any input from them, I said to DS to just go and ignore her as he'd waited nicely, but he doesn't like doing that so tried to rationalise with her saying that she'd had plenty of goes and it was his turn now. After about 5 mins of this and her taking turn after turn, he just took his go. The little girl started screaming and crying actual tears that he wasn't allowed and how DARE he go when she was there first. I went to say to the mum, look be fair, she's had loads of turns and was telling him he wasn't allowed which isn't that nice, but Dad had bundled the child off in his arms and was halfway off across the playground comforting her. Mum gave me a cold stare and walked off.
Have I BU in any of these instances? Or this woman and her husband just entitled and rude? I am going to make sure to say something next time we have any interaction as I am sure this won't be the last time given how often I seem to see her.
Next time just ask them to please parent their child. .
You could offer to email them some instructions. .
I know it's all really minor but every time I see her I think oh no, you again. She's always in the nice cafe at the top of the road which has toys for the kids but I just know that if I go in, the little girl will start either not sharing or getting up in my baby's face and I just can't be bothered. She is just so odd.
Poor you! They sound difficult, just be proud that your child has manners and rise above it*
*but also make a voodoo effigy of the mother.
They're both delusional. They are both being openly rude, no need to be polite. I like to use the approach of talking to the parents through their child or my own child. I.e. Go on DS, it's your go and the little girl needs to share. She has had loads of turns, and it is now your turn as you waited so patiently.
Any sane parent would then step in, and ask their child to take turns. You might need to start telling the child straight, as if parenting your own child, as it seems the little darling doesn't get that from her own parents.
How sorry I feel for her daughter s future teachers.
Just be really blunt the next time and they will learn to back off
There is one like this near me
Lets her son stay on the rocking horse at the playground for about 40 minutes (!!!) whilst other children are waiting. She sheepishly says 'sorry I can't tell him what to do'
I am horrible though and said well don't be surprised when he grows up to steal out your purse.
I don't think its appropriate to be calling a curious child odd.
I can understand the no you again thoughts, however. Some people do grate on your last nerve.
but she's not odd wanting to cuddle the baby ect. Little girls are like that aren't they.
The mother does sound very odd though.
I recognise her sort and lately seen more and more of them using their prams as weapons and deliberately running other people off the pavement. I have had men pushing prams running them into me as they refuse to move out the way. What is this rise in obnoxious parents? That would have been considered a no no when my kids were younger. Aggressive pram use, a sign of the times!
About the not sharing the monkey bars. They do need to be parenting her and teaching her to share.
Bacon. I'm sorry I can't tell him what to do.... . What's he going to be like at 15. She damn well can and should tell him what to do. Its called being a parent.
I meant the mum was odd, not the daughter. Although the daughter is quite obviously given everything she ever wants immediately, even if that is sitting millimetres from a strangers lactating breast.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
She sounds entitled. Just ignore and tell your DS to ignore if possible. If he is really keen on something help him navigate and support him while avoiding conflict, i.e. " Come DS I will help you have a go at the monkey bars", and once he has had a go, "do you want to try the slide/swing/whatever else could be fun." and move on.
I'm pregnant or I'd have lifted him up to the monkey bars. I asked him if he sees that little girl often and he said yes she is always yelling.
I feel really quite sorry for the daughter- imagine growing up thinking that sort of behaviour is ok?
She's self-centred and rude. What's the betting she's an only child herself?
Just look out for the little girl in 6-9 months time; her baby sibling will have arrived and she will be fucking FURIOUS. I'd avoid the child at that particular stage of their lives, given she's so good-natured already
Aww I wouldn't have minded the boob bit as I love it when wee ones can see a baby being breastfed and actually volunteered to BF in a local primary class to let children see a baby (well dd was 11 months by then!) being breastfed.
But. The rest- she is obviously indulged and the parents haven't a clue how to manage her. I would carry on as you are but enable your child to have the fair turns on park equipment etc by saying "well done for waiting until Mary had finished- now Mary can you watch johnny while he has his turn then its you again" type thing- model positive instruction discipline and direction? As she clearly won't see it at home!!
YANBU. They all sound like entitled, spoilt little brats!
Aggressive pram use, a sign of the times
No, it was going on well before I had my ds who is 14. I used to hate having my ankles wacked by someone with a pram behind me. The only difference was that they were generally smaller, the Maclaren umbrella folding type, not the huge ones people have now. It's like cars really, people seem to think the larger the better.
As for the little girl being curious not odd, if someone else's child who I didn't know got into my lap, I would fairly unceremoniously remove them again! Sounds like the OP is far too polite.
Poor kid she's in for a shock when the baby is born. Avoid as much as possible is the only thing to do as the mother sounds crazy. She's setting her child up for a world of grief. Sad really. Wait till you get to the playground at school - that should be interesting and hopefully they won't be together. Some children are just never told no.
Isadora2007, I didn't mind her sitting next to me as I agree, the more BF is normalised the better. But she wanted to be on my lap and I just didn't have room for my own DS and a four year old who belonged to someone else plus she pulled DS off and getting him to latch was always the hard bit.
I find both parents almost agressively docile iyswim. Like they are waiting for a challenge and because they are so entitled, they assume they are hard done by every time and are waiting to respond to someone. The way she reacted to the nice family for instance
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