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To think teachers should not puts hands on children

(178 Posts)
Mousedl1 Tue 25-Apr-17 20:17:47

So I went on a school trip today with my DS class as they needed volunteers. Lunch was outside sat on a field DS was asked to sit down twice by the class room helper, for back round other children were up and playing he was being his usual slow self. He classroom helper then grabbed him by the shoulders and literally forced him to sit down, he didn't say anything and just sat bewildered and looked at me as he has never been shoved to do something at home.
I was very angry but as a school trip said nothing, another mum saw I was annoyed and commented that helper can often be 'forceful' with children. I am now home and furious and I think even more so that my son accepted it which with the other comment makes me think this may not be the first time. He isn't a nasty child but can get silly and giggly (is 6) but I don't think this is appropriate from an adult, then 10 mins later another child punched someone in the face and she had to hold a hand for 5 mins 😤 So she was punished less for that in my opinion then him standing to eat his food. Is it unreasonable to go into school and tell them in no uncertain terms no body has the right to do this or is it best to leave it like my husband says as it will cause problems for my son long term (the helper moves up with the class each year so he has her for 1 more)

Shitonmyshoe Tue 25-Apr-17 20:23:19

It's easy to think like your dh and avoid making waves. However, the tiger in me personally would have caused me to say something at the time. Difficult one this.

LemonRedwood Tue 25-Apr-17 20:23:44

I don't agree that school staff should never put hands on children but the school should have a very clear policy about what is acceptable and what is not. What you have described does not sound reasonable and I can't think a school would have forcing children by their shoulders to sit down as part of any policy. I would ask for a meeting with the head to tell them what you saw and to express your unhappiness about it. Also ask to see a copy of the school's behaviour and physical intervention policies. Any physical contact the staff member made should be in line with the policies.

Dogivemeabreak Tue 25-Apr-17 20:24:33

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Rach6l Tue 25-Apr-17 20:25:42

Leave it. They are professionals & have to deal with all manner of monkeying about.
Also if she did it in full view of you then its hardly something theyre going to apologise over is it

Wolfiefan Tue 25-Apr-17 20:26:27

I agree with Lemon. There are times it is necessary but the school should have a clear policy.
He should do as he's told though. Silly and giggly isn't good on a trip or in a classroom.

Mousedl1 Tue 25-Apr-17 20:26:50

Ow yes I 6 year old on a school trip not sitting down is clearly a brat! Dog I didn't ask or want you opinion on my child so unless you have advise on what I asked don't you dare come on her and call my child names, grow up and look somewhere else to troll

summersloegin Tue 25-Apr-17 20:27:03

I would raise this with the school.

SaorAlbaGuBrath Tue 25-Apr-17 20:27:35

Why did it get to that point if you were there and he'd been told twice,

SaorAlbaGuBrath Tue 25-Apr-17 20:27:50

? not ,

Mousedl1 Tue 25-Apr-17 20:28:00

He wasn't giggling or being silly at this time that was just more a general comment on his behaviour he was strong or talking to anyone eating a sandwich

SaorAlbaGuBrath Tue 25-Apr-17 20:28:33

And for the record I'm not calling him anything, I'm just asking.

Mousedl1 Tue 25-Apr-17 20:28:48

I was watching a child deemed as a 'flight' risk so couldn't get up to go over over as the child's adult was away in the toilet

sailorcherries Tue 25-Apr-17 20:29:01

Agree with Lemon. I teach and yes I've had to 'put my hands on a child' for their own safety (school trip and they were about to run across the road without looking, I had to grab a shoulder to hold them on the path otherwise they would have been hit by a car). I've also placed my hands on the upper back of a child to guide them to where they should be and I've hugged children who have become hysterical (working with p2, still 5 years old and in tears over hurting themselves at lunch).

However, I'd never push/shove a child and don't view that as appropriate, if what the adult done actually constituted a shove.

stitchglitched Tue 25-Apr-17 20:29:30

There are some occasions where it might be necessary for a teacher to put their hands on a child but to make them do something isn't one of them. And a 6 year old child getting a bit giggly and silly on a school trip does not make them a brat ffs.

Wolfiefan Tue 25-Apr-17 20:30:05

Not trolling. confused
He was asked to sit down. He didn't. I would be cross with my child for not following instructions on a school trip. A child standing up can prevent staff seeing and keeping safe the rest of the class.
Don't think the TA is the problem here.

Shitonmyshoe Tue 25-Apr-17 20:30:15

Very harsh comment Dog, he's 6 angry

Feenie Tue 25-Apr-17 20:30:50

if what the adult done?

sailorcherries Tue 25-Apr-17 20:30:58

Your attitude towards dog is entirely unreasonable and if you go in to the school with that attitude do not expect them to take you seriously.

Mousedl1 Tue 25-Apr-17 20:31:01

I might of worded the title wrong I meant put there hands on them to force him down rather than touch him as I understand there are times when contact is important and much needed

Lochan Tue 25-Apr-17 20:31:44

I don't understand why you didn't raise your concerns at the time with whoever was in charge.

booellesmum Tue 25-Apr-17 20:32:05

If it had happened to mine I would have told her to sit down when first asked next time.
If she had been smacked or hurt that would be different.

Spikeyball Tue 25-Apr-17 20:32:28

There should be policies about physical contact but are you sure about how much force was used? Could it have been a touch and he reacted with a sudden drop to the ground?

sailorcherries Tue 25-Apr-17 20:32:33

A 6 year old being giggly is not a brat. A child who is asked to do something, twice, and doesn't get in to trouble for such behaviour can come across as quite bratty.

Patriciathestripper1 Tue 25-Apr-17 20:33:01

**He classroom helper then grabbed him by the shoulders and literally forced him to sit down, he didn't say anything and just sat bewildered and looked at me as he has never been shoved to do something at home.
He looked to you for help and you said nothing?
You should have gone over and asked to speak to her on her own and told her that it was not acceptable to first a child town like this. Any child, not just yours.
You should ask to see the head teacher asap and discuss your concerns.

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