NC for this as pretty identifying...(long too, sorry)
FIL has a big birthday coming up. MIL and FIL are moving soon and in the initial party planning stages MIL was unsure whether they could host as their house might be unsuitable at the time, so she asked if they could have it at ours. I said that would be great as we have a young DC and our dog has just had puppies, so it would be quite difficult for us to attend otherwise (I actually said this to her). There was some further discussion around having it at ours, dates (the 'better' weekend when puppies would have gone to new homes clashing with their other commitments, so settling on a weekend when I will have seven week old puppies and an unrelated pre arranged houseguest) using their gazebo, etc, and then I didn't hear anything else.
Last week I overheard some chat about checking whether the gazebo had all it's bits, assumed MIL was gearing for set up, and got DH to ask her if she needed us to go get the gazebo. The reply was that she has decided to probably have it at theirs because of the number of people coming.
Obviously I was like 'erm, what are we going to do about the puppies', which I happened to mention to SIL, who was like 'yeah, we should ask my friend who you've met a handful of times to puppy sit, because she likes dogs'. Ok, not really comfortable with that, but willing to have a chat with her should the need arise and see if it's feasible.
So today I'm at SILs and MIL emails her the invites to check over, for the party, at MILs, at 7pm on the Saturday, they've been planning it together.
DH's family are pretty bad at communicating, so I'm not surprised at the round about way I've found out she no longer wants to have it here, but AIBU to be a tiny bit annoyed? There is backstory here that MIL and SIL are understandably close and that we've gone from seeing PIL a lot since our DC was born to less and less as SILs baby nears it's arrival date - so I'm maybe feeling a tiny bit sidelined (my own family live far away, and tbh aren't that close)
The proper AIBU though. 7pm is DC's bedtime. They know this, they know DC is currently breastfed to sleep, there has been zero communication about whether this is feasible for us. SIL is just like 'oh, well they can set a cot up in the smallest room and your DC can sleep in there' like it's the easiest thing ever to change an under 1's sleeping regime and then wake them up at like midnight or whatever to take them home. We have had multiple occasions where we've kept DC out past 7pm at their house because dinner has run late and they nearly always scream all the way home in the car.
SIL made it pretty clear that if we don't got I'll be the evil DIL who ruined the party, and that the only other option was that DH attends with DC while I stay home with the dogs, I assume in this scenario DC is going to stay awake until they start screaming at which point DH will have a 45 minute drive with them.
So AIBU to have expected our situation to be considered during party planning if it's imperative that we attend?
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AIBU?
About this party?
68 replies
partyunplanner · 25/04/2017 16:05
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