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What does he mean?

(12 Posts)
DoesHeWantToOrNot Mon 24-Apr-17 20:55:36

Was talking to dp yesterday about getting married etc and I asked him if he wanted to marry me and his reply was "yes one day" is it just me or is that just a generic answer to keep me happy?

wheresthel1ght Mon 24-Apr-17 20:57:18

or that he just isn't ready yet - why look for drama?

Crowdblundering Mon 24-Apr-17 20:57:37

Did you not ask him what he meant...?

Cammysmoma Mon 24-Apr-17 20:59:05

"Yes one day" but just not right now. I'm still trying to figure out if I actually want to be in a relationship with you for the rest of my life. Men don't like to feel they have no options

Although on the flip side, you can't force him, if he loves you he will ask you when he is ready x

happypoobum Mon 24-Apr-17 20:59:28

How long have you been together?

Do you have DC?

How old are you?

CassandraAusten Mon 24-Apr-17 21:01:27

How long have you been together? If less than 18 months or so, I'd consider that a perfectly reasonable response. If you've been together for 2 years or longer, I'd want something a bit more specific.

DoesHeWantToOrNot Mon 24-Apr-17 21:05:01

Been together 2 and a half years with one daughter.

I didn't want to go further into it at that point as I didn't want to seem like I was going on about it.

It wasn't a proper conversation as such, more just mentioning it.

I'm 32 and he's 34. Both been married previously. So I think that's why it was a generic answer.

happypoobum Mon 24-Apr-17 21:34:02

Then I would be a bit upset. Although I wouldn't have had a child with someone I wasn't married to, I appreciate it's a bit late for that advice grin

I think you need to find a time and space for you to sit down and tell him it's important to you and that if he isn't interested in marriage then you need to know. If he is, then why would you put it off any longer, given your position?

DoesHeWantToOrNot Mon 24-Apr-17 21:38:09

I only got divorced last year and his is in the process so we wouldn't be able to do anything about it just now anyway. I am very happy with him. I just wondered if he'd thought about it etc.

I'll not mention it again for a while if at all and see what happens.

Although he was pointing out rings today but he knows I want a new one. Not an engagement ring as such though. Just a ring as I lost mine.

WhooooAmI24601 Mon 24-Apr-17 21:40:59

Why not just say to him "I feel like this" and tell him what you're hoping for? You can't expect him to read your mind if you've never told him how you're feeling and what you're hoping for.

WankingMonkey Mon 24-Apr-17 21:43:26

Maybe he just doesn't see marriage as a priority. Things are very different now to years back...people already live together and have kids before getting married where before it was expected you do the marriage thing first. Marriage just doesn't matter that much to a lot of people. I wasn't too fussed on getting married as to me, its just a big expensive party and a piece of paper tbh, but DH wanted to so we did.

If he has been married previously, maybe hes thinking that things are great as they are and he doesn't want to 'jinx' it or something.

Maybe it was just an answer to keep you happy.

Maybe he is trying to play it cool as he is ready to propose

The possibilities are endless tbh. Don't read too much into it.

Have you made it clear to him that marriage is something you actually want and that it is important to you?

DoesHeWantToOrNot Mon 24-Apr-17 22:04:14

See I never wanted to get married again and he said he didn't either. So that was fine. Then we had DD and I began thinking differently. He knows I do want it. So ball is in his court. If he never asks then fine. I'm still happy. Same if he asks.

I was just wondering about the answer. As it's been playing on my mind.

But everyone's responses have helped. Thanks all.

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