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No language and big tantrums

(42 Posts)
2boytrouble Mon 24-Apr-17 17:00:09

I nanny for a little boy who will be 2 next month!

His parents speak Urdu, but I am English. He understands no Urdu and is slowly picking up English! I've been with him since November. He understands things like "sit down" "shoes", but doesn't understand more complex things like "are you hungry?"

Ok, that's where we're at!

The problem is now he's having massive tantrums, they last up t an hour, it'll be over something as simple as leaving the park and during them, there's no touching him, no way to cuddle him because he just won't let it happen!

I'm out of ideas, I've tried singing to soothe him as he usually likes this, but he screams louder and more intensely! I've tried playing with the other boy, but he doesn't come to join in. I've tried cuddling him, but he screams louder and tries to get out of it!

I need help, how can I get him to calm down, he doesn't understand anything I say in respect to calming down and these tantrums are so bad! I couldn't get him off the grass in the park today through screaming so just sat by his side and waited it out (35 minutes was the length of this one)

Please... any ideas!!

2boytrouble Mon 24-Apr-17 17:09:28

Bump for advice

Toysaurus Mon 24-Apr-17 17:13:49

Try using visual prompts or PECs and do plenty of countdowns and warnings. Maybe use a visual timer to help him understand time is coming up. Looks like he finds transitions really difficult.

Outnotdown Mon 24-Apr-17 17:14:04

I'm sorry to say I don't have any advice for you. In my experience the only thing that works with a tantrum is exactly as you did, stay with the child and wait for him to run out of steam. Sorry! Maybe somebody else will have something more useful. Good luck, its not easyflowers

Toysaurus Mon 24-Apr-17 17:14:33

Oh and definitely give Makaton a go

2boytrouble Mon 24-Apr-17 17:18:33

Ok some good ideas, it's quite frustrating at the moment because he'll wake up and just start screaming and having a big melt down too!

The visual prompts may work

Spikeyball Mon 24-Apr-17 17:21:24

Pictures or photographs to show him what is going to happen with plenty of notice that it is going to happen.
Sometimes you may have to ignore the protesting and pick him up and put him in the buggy or car.

CaulkheadNorth Mon 24-Apr-17 17:22:58

Has his hearing been checked recently?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Mon 24-Apr-17 17:25:03

A baby sign course?

miwelaisjacydo Mon 24-Apr-17 17:26:29

I too was going to say hearing.

Try Makaton simple signing as it will help with frustration and doesn't impede speech.

marabounuts Mon 24-Apr-17 17:26:42

DD was like that at 2. massive tantrums but no speech and very very little understanding. She has now a DX of learning diffs and autism.

not saying that this is the case with your charge but not understanding language is often a huge red flag.

how concerned are his parents? if you were his mum I would recommend hearing test, and referral to salt and possibly developmental paed. but as his nanny, I am not sure. can you raise your concerns with his parents so they can take things further? but it sounds as if something developmental may go one which requires further investigation and specialised input.

Goldmandra Mon 24-Apr-17 17:27:01

He needs a referral for at least a hearing test and a speech and language assessment. Children with language delays need to be seen as young as possible as it is much harder to catch up later on.

This may need to lead onto a neurodevelopmental assessment.

2boytrouble Mon 24-Apr-17 17:28:23

His hearing is fine, he babbles and tries to communicate and has about 10 words. Cat, car for example! He doesn't speak Urdu due to watching so many cartoons from an early age (his parents own admission) he also doesn't answer to his own name

marabounuts Mon 24-Apr-17 17:29:53

are the parents aware that this development may be not quite usual? or are the oblivious?

2boytrouble Mon 24-Apr-17 17:29:58

Ok so the overall consensus is to speak to the parents to get him referred!

They are becoming more concerned for him as time is passing, but they are encouraged by the recent learning of the few words he has!

Spikeyball Mon 24-Apr-17 17:32:12

Is he able to tel you what he wants by pointing or leading you to things?

marabounuts Mon 24-Apr-17 17:33:13

definitely referral. if they parents are concerned it may be easier to talk to them?

have you looked up the M-Chat and checked if it flags him up?

UppityHumpty Mon 24-Apr-17 18:01:14

Bilingual or trilingual kids do tend to pick up speaking skills a bit later, especially boys - both brothers (and now my nephews too) didn't really start to talk until 3 but by then were fluent in 4 languages. Try signing if you want him to follow an instruction. In my culture we use simple words to describe certain things, Urdu might have similar - eg mumum for food, lala for sleep, bachi for blanket etc

Trifleorbust Mon 24-Apr-17 18:05:58

He understands no Urdu and barely any English at 2?!

MrsMoastyToasty Mon 24-Apr-17 18:08:07

Is he on the autism spectrum?

MissAdaSmith Mon 24-Apr-17 18:15:48

bilingual or trilingual kids do tend to pick up speaking skills a bit later, especially boys

nonsense. there is lots of research which has debunked the multilingual myth. often, these children speak even earlier. and as for boys talking late.... don't get me even started. apart from that he has no understanding either

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 24-Apr-17 18:57:42

I don't see how not understanding or speaking his parents language can be put down to just having watched a lot of cartoons in English. Didn't his parents talk to him at all?

RandomMess Mon 24-Apr-17 19:01:21

In the meantime start using baby signing? I found this fantastic for my DC that had speech delay.

marabounuts Mon 24-Apr-17 19:01:51

well, he doesn't speak/understanding English either bar a few words.

HumphreyCobblers Mon 24-Apr-17 19:16:04

Has he had a hearing test? You can find that children will respond to their name or loud noises yet still have significant hearing loss.

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