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To ask for more maintenance money from ex?

(23 Posts)
Lemonnaise Mon 24-Apr-17 16:00:54

Ex pays £25 per week for DD(6). I don't think it's enough, I asked him if he could pay a bit more and he said he'd think about it. Can I have your opinions please? Am I BU?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Mon 24-Apr-17 16:02:38

Go through cms. . He can't be tight and he can't accuse you of being greedy!!

DonaldStott Mon 24-Apr-17 16:02:41

If he is in employment, go through CMS.

Lemonnaise Mon 24-Apr-17 16:08:21

He owns his own business. He can well afford it.

EatsShitAndLeaves Mon 24-Apr-17 16:23:26

Tbh I'm always shocked a just how little some men pay in maintenance.

£25 per week barely covers school lunches, never mind clothing, toiletries, school equipment, childcare etc etc

Why would any decent person refuse to make sure, when they can afford to do so, that their child's needs are properly funded? Obviously I have answered this as they are not a decent person.

Yes, salary is a factor, but I just can't see how anything less than £200 per month begins to scratch the surface of appropriately contributing to a child's most basic needs.

YANBU to ask for more.

I'd start with a list of what you pay currently re: items described above. He should be paying at least half of that.

FanaticalFox Mon 24-Apr-17 16:24:41

Ah he's self employed so will probably declare about 10k a year income i am guessing? Which is why he has to pay so little? Do you know what he declares OP?

Lemonnaise Mon 24-Apr-17 16:32:49

Eats...I've just had to buy her loads of clothes because she's outgrown everything so I let him see the receipts. I also told him I had recently had to buy her a new bed. He knows that her school bus is £20 per week but he just shrugged.

FanaticalFox...I have no idea how much he declares. I just know that he seems to have plenty of income. A new car last month, he was on a cruise in February, went to Las Vegas just before christmas and constantly goes to concerts and away for weekend breaks.

BarneyRumbleton Mon 24-Apr-17 16:34:47

He needs to be paying more then. YANBU.

EatsShitAndLeaves Mon 24-Apr-17 16:41:55

He just shrugged - he's basically a selfish git then who'd rather spend his money on himself (cars, vegas etc) than his child sad

What is wrong with these men angry

FanaticalFox Mon 24-Apr-17 16:47:44

Do you currently go through CMS? Or is this a private arrangement? Is it a limited company?

Shoegirly Mon 24-Apr-17 16:47:45

My ex is giving me £40 a week for 3 dcs. He warns 45 grand a year. He maintains because he is still paying mortgage,bills that he doesn't have to give me any money but he is only doing that because is refusing to sell the house. I phoned child maintenance today and he should be paying £600 a month!

Lemonnaise Mon 24-Apr-17 16:56:38

Fanatical..No CMS, we do this between ourselves. I have no idea if his company is limited.

Shoegirly...My ex doesn't even have to pay mortgage, rent or bills to me. Are you going to go through CMS?

FanaticalFox Mon 24-Apr-17 17:12:38

You need to go through CMS. If its a limited company you can see what is declared via companies house website.

Chasingsquirrels Mon 24-Apr-17 17:15:51

CMS - they can get the facts of his income.
(Small Limited company accounts as filed at Companies House wouldn't disclose all the information you need).
£20 a week and that kind of lifestyle is a fucking joke.

RainbowsAndUnicorn Mon 24-Apr-17 18:10:16

That's £100 a month, plus you matching it gives £200. Plus CB and anything else you get. Unless you have childcare costs that covers clothes, food and school costs.

Should he pay more? Nobody can really answer that without knowing how many days he has her, what he provides on those days etc. On the face of it yes but there's very little details tthat go on.

Can you not move schools to save on the transport costs as presumably it's a school of choice and not council appointed or they would be paying transport costs.

Lemonnaise Mon 24-Apr-17 18:15:31

Can you not move schools to save on the transport costs as presumably it's a school of choice and not council appointed or they would be paying transport costs.

shock Um no I won't be moving my child to a different school to save her father money. Really???

He doesn't have her any over-nights, doesn't buy her clothes. He pays £25 per week and sees her 3-4 hours one day through the week. He refuses to take her at weekends when he's off work.

user1476194084 Mon 24-Apr-17 19:33:15

All the CMS advice while good in principle might not work - my ex told them he was not earning anything and they just believed him as he is not doing tax returns and is self employed so no way of proving anything - two and s half years and I have had the grand total of nothing!! He's even claiming working tax credit so I have no hope of CMS being helpful!!

mangomay Mon 24-Apr-17 19:39:34

I agree re CMS being pointless for someone self employed and not fucking honest about what they earn My ex pays £60 a week for his 2 DC. I worked for and with him for a while before we split so I know full well how much profit he makes, and while I'm content enough with £60 a week, what he has left over for himself is outrageous (easily twenty times what he pays in maintenance). And all it gets spent on is weed and takeaway pizza.
Sorry I can't help OP, but you're not the only one flowers

icy121 Mon 24-Apr-17 19:45:34

My OH pays his exW 16% of gross salary. He's a v high earner (at the moment) so it's a huge sum she gets (£5,300 pcm) but if he were to lose the job we'd be screwed as I don't earn, after tax, anywhere enough to pay for her, let alone the mortgage too.

StillDrivingMeBonkers Mon 24-Apr-17 19:53:28

If he lost his job, he wouldn't be paying her £5.3K per month

AmserGwin Mon 24-Apr-17 19:53:56

£25 a week is ridiculous. My ex pays me £80 a week (2 children so £40 per child). He only sees them in school hols though as he lives 200 miles away. How often does he have your DC?

AmserGwin Mon 24-Apr-17 19:54:50

Sorry just seen he has her for a few hrs

Lemonnaise Mon 24-Apr-17 21:00:56

Thank you for your comments everyone. I think he'd just lie regarding CMS. He has now told me that he won't be paying anything more for DD, he "can't afford any more" but the latest holiday to Lanzarote is going ahead

user1476 your ex is an utter prickflowers

icy121 shock well...I just don't know what to say to that amount...

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