My genuinely lovely in-laws keep 5yo dd for us on the odd day or two overnight during extended school breaks. During the last stay, while FaceTimeing, dd shows me her "new phone" which was actually my old one I'd lent to DMIL when her last one broke. She has since upgraded. Dd was very pleased with the gift. I wasn't best pleased but said nothing as thought it would be better to speak to them separately about how I don't think a 5yo needs an iPhone. But my silent nods and wide eyes and mmm-hmms when they were speaking should have gotten the message across. They then brought her back the next day with the phone in tow. They were very quick to say, content has been deleted, there is no SIM, only works on wifi, and with apps DPIL have put on it etc. They were working hard to convince me but could tell I was being politely unhappy about it (while being totally grateful they keep her saving us childcare)
I'm not happy about it as she already has an iPad which sometimes becomes a source of friction, as it's used as a treat for good behaviour.
I don't like the idea of giving her a phone at her age anyway, I think she is far too young and it could be a slippery slope. She's marching around telling everyone she has a phone. Never mind retinal issues watching videos on kids YouTube on a tiny screen. DFIL has it synced with his iTunes so I can't control it. A lot of reasons...
My DPiL and DH don't think it's a huge deal. They think it's no different to the iPad. However DH would certainly put up a united front with dd if I put my foot down. I expect my dpils would think I was being a bit mean.
I say, it's my phone anyway (or was!) and as we don't need it any more I would like to sell it and put it towards things dd really does need in her life.
I genuinely don't know if IABU here as everyone else is quite nonchalant about it, even DH who is the protective sort! Any Views please??
AIBU?
Small Child & phone situation - AIBU?
EllaElla · 24/04/2017 12:39
Yes Cosmo I meant he would definitely be supportive of my view if I felt strongly, as we do actively present a consistent parenting approach!! 
I'd be seriously unimpressed too.
I can see where people are coming from re it not being much different to an iphone but the ex bought my DCs phones as Christmas presents. I thought the same. No different to an iPad (which we don't have) however, I've recently took them off the both of them because they were getting that addicted its unreal. I.e my WiFi is done through my phone, when the ex dropped the DCs off. No hello, nothing, DS was straight to my phone to turn the WiFi on 
I've decided they can have them at the weekends now until further notice. DD has her exams coming up and completing an obby on roblox isn't going to help her pass her sats.
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You made me think of this 
But to your question, I would be concerned as well. DD (3) uses our devices occasionally and her behaviour is much worse when she's had too much screen time. Not to mention the fact that any device that attaches to wifi can access the internet and all the attendant dangers that come with that. We use close supervision and guided access now on our iThings to manage it (guided access locks the device on one app) but I do worry about how to protect DD as she gets older.
Until you have agreement with the other adults in her life about how devices are used including frequency, when in the day, as a reward or not, how supervised etc I would be putting the phone in a drawer.
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