Bit of a long one but please bear with!
2.5 years ago my MIL left FIL for another man. It turns out she had been having an affair with him for about 6 months (that we know of, I suspect it was longer).
Other man was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few years before she left FIL for him. Despite knowing that he had less that 18 months left, she moved out of the family home and set up on her own.
They split the week by living together partly at hers and partly at his home.
They were engaged less that a month after she left FIL.
I know I'm going to sound awful here but when he died she sort of went a bit OTT and grieved somewhat unaturally.
She postponed the funeral so that she could "spend more time with him" and visited the Chapel of Rest everyday for up to 6 hours at a time. This was at the height of summer and used to joke about when the staff told her they must "put him back in the freezer before he started to defrost".....
She moved all of his belongings from his house over to her small flat and hung up all his clothes in her wardrobe. She has refused to get rid of anything and now her flat is full of boxes( literally floor to ceiling). You can't sit on her sofa as it's got all of his books/ newspapers etc on it. She sits on a dining chair in the middle of the room infront of the TV as that's the only place that's free from the junk.
She has printed off photos of his body from after he died in hospital and has got them plastered all over the walls.
His son has asked for his ashes to be buried but she has denied him having any say in what happens to them. They are currently sitting on her bedside table as she "doesn't like to sleep alone".
She has now had part of his ashes made into earrings.
I know everyone grieves differently and that they should have the right to act/feel/do what they see fit but I feel like after 10 months it is not getting better and that she is wallowing in it.
She laughs about constantly turning up late for work and missing staff meetings because she struggles to leave the house in the mornings. I'm seriously concerned that she will start to jeopardise her job.
She also demands to meet us every weekend-sometimes twice. And then cries/strops if we say we are busy as she doesn't like to be alone.
DH agrees that her grief is unnatural but just thinks we should leave her to it. MIL and I have had a somewhat stressed relationship as of late but I am getting seriously concerned that she is on a downward spiral of self destruction.
Any advise would be highly appreciated!!
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AIBU?
AIBU to think MIL's grief is a step too far?
104 replies
PandaEyes25 · 24/04/2017 09:25
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