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...To think H is becoming seriously unhinged?

(29 Posts)
FabulousUsername Mon 24-Apr-17 06:33:18

Yesterday we took young puppy out for a walk (there's a back story here involving me not being in agreement with getting a dog but he insisted so she is 'his' dog).. She's not trained yet but is accustomed to walking on the lead. We were on a popular path then went through a field and he decided to let her off the lead for a bit, fine as we were the only ones around. Then, a jogger ran through, she's never seen a jogger before, and to my horror she started to run after him jumping up (and it looked like she was biting at him) i was running and shouting and got her back, shouting apologies but the man was quite rightly yelling she should be on the lead, of course she was back on by this point.

Anyway, H was angry--at the jogger. I don't know how it came up but i suggested if we saw him again we apologise again as he wouldn't have seen she is a puppy (no excuse but at least it explains the situation) and that led H into a long rant about how the man should have stopped running when he went past us, he was the sort of person who'd knock down old ladies because he was in a hurry, basically saying the man was in the wrong. I suggested looking at a dog training scenario in puppy class where we get people to run by and get her to behave correctly, just as a suggestion, and he went into a total rant about how it was all the joggers fault.

I disagree, the jogger had as much right to use the path as we did. I felt really uncomfortable, like H was deranged. Totally refused to have any remorse.

I can guarantee if it had been the other way around and someone's puppy had nipped at him he'd be judging the owners. I just don't know what to do-- seriously concerned about his state of mind. We're living semi apart at the moment, lots of other problems with the relationship but I'm just not sure what I should do re: his state of mind! Report him? Strongly suggest he gets counseling, pronto?

Or perhaps I'm wrong and i should have agreed with him...Or at least not said anything as it's 'his' dog!

eurochick Mon 24-Apr-17 06:36:03

I agree with you about the dog and jogger situation, but I'm not sure he needs reporting (to whom?!?) or requires counselling because he said some daft things about a situation where he was in the wrong but couldn't admit it!

honeylulu Mon 24-Apr-17 06:38:44

On its own it doesn't seem that significant. What is the bigger picture?

FabulousUsername Mon 24-Apr-17 06:42:56

Thanks euro! It ended, all fine, it could be I'm overreacting to him as we have other problems now where I feel he won't hear my point if view. I'm happy to let it go if it was just him refusing to admit he was wrong to lose face.

By 'report him' i was thinking talk to GP about his state of mind, not report him to the puppy police smile

OliviaBenson Mon 24-Apr-17 06:44:06

I read your last thread. Why are you still with him? He's a bully who is never wrong.

MovingtoParadise Mon 24-Apr-17 06:45:05

'Twat' isn't a state of mind.

He sounds like he doesn't take responsibility for stuff he's responsible for and that he just gets defensive.

AnyFucker Mon 24-Apr-17 06:48:27

I don't understand why you went for a cosy walk with him and his dog in the 1st place

Trifleorbust Mon 24-Apr-17 06:54:13

Are you being serious about talking to his GP? Are you unhinged?

Pollydonia Mon 24-Apr-17 06:54:19

Wow, he really believes​ that he is always in the right? How exhausting for you sad.
I has 2 off lead dogs running at my ddog yesterday, totally out of control on a public Street. The other owner told me that it was my fault because my dog was on a lead hmm. Can't argue with stupid!!

FabulousUsername Mon 24-Apr-17 06:54:22

I'm scared to totally cut ties altogether, too worried about what might happen, but I've totally distanced myself (living separately) but we had some social things over the weekend. If he'd agree to counseling for himself I'd be happier. The only option or advice I seem to get is to totally blank him and go no contact but I'd have to leave my job and my house so this halfway solution is working better for me and it saves us having to admit separation. I don't want to see him crash and burn. But still wonder if he is unhinged.

AnyFucker Mon 24-Apr-17 06:57:59

If you won't make the break, then you will have to carry on living like this

He won't change and a couple of "counselling" sessions won't turn him into a different person

BusterGonad Mon 24-Apr-17 06:59:32

You both sound a bit unhinged tbh. He had a strong opinion of the situation as did you. He was pissed off over his new puppy, a bit pfb and you didn't agree, but to get him practically sectioned over it is also crazy. From what I can read into this small snippet is he's highly strung and you don't like him much, neither does the jogger!

FabulousUsername Mon 24-Apr-17 07:07:24

Ok- thanks all, I got what i needed to know as the jogger situation alone isn't evidence of impending madness or psychopathery! I'm probably in the wrong as well for judging him and point taken, i will distance myself further and not get involved, the slow exit seems to be working out for me.

BusterGonad Mon 24-Apr-17 07:10:33

Op I don't think it's the case of right or wrong, but it sounds like you two are no longer the right fit for each other which is causing you both to be picky and showing your worst traits. Obviously I don't know you at all but I think it is the end of the road for you both. sad

KateDaniels2 Mon 24-Apr-17 07:13:32

You say he always needs to be right
Lots of people get pfb about puppies

Neither of these things warrant reporting to a gp (i am not even sure what that means). And what doctor would do anything based on an estranged wifes declaration that he over reacted.

You both sound so highly strung. I am sure i have read your threads before, but dont remeber the detail.

Make the break and end the marriage. Its all but done anyway. He lives somewhere else.

AlternativeTentacle Mon 24-Apr-17 07:17:52

The jogger is in the right, and you know it.

You need to extricate yourself from this person soonest.

Hoppinggreen Mon 24-Apr-17 07:21:11

Given his past behaviour why are you surprised when he acts like an arsehole?
You know exactly what he's like so live with it or try and completely break up with him ( easier to say than do I appreciate)

Mummyoflittledragon Mon 24-Apr-17 07:22:32

Just read the two threads. He sounds very angry. I don't know about unhinged. Distancing yourself is good.

AnyFucker Mon 24-Apr-17 07:44:44

Is going on an avoidable puppy walk "distancing yourself" ?

NormaSmuff Mon 24-Apr-17 07:46:26

my dog chased joggers/cyclists when she was a puppy.
no need for any aggro from anyone.

GinAndTalented Mon 24-Apr-17 11:06:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meekonsandwich Mon 24-Apr-17 15:41:32

Ahh sounds like it's his previous first pup!

I remember training my pup and people would let their dogs (on leads) jump all over her and frighten her, which annoyed me but his reaction is over the top and he's very lucky the jogger didn't kick his dog in defense.

The jogger and you are in the right, it was an accident, but you rectified it by putting the puppy back on the lead and suggested training classes.

Done. Move on.
If he keeps bringing it up then he has problems

Meekonsandwich Mon 24-Apr-17 15:42:09

Not previous! Precious!!!

Ecureuil Mon 24-Apr-17 15:52:24

If you're distancing yourself, why are you going on puppy walks?
I'm a bit confused, what would you have said to a GP? He sounds like a a twat but that isn't indicative of a mental illness.

GinAndTalented Tue 25-Apr-17 21:22:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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