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AIBU to want to sue marie stopes?

(78 Posts)
dogsdoodars Sun 23-Apr-17 21:09:24

This is a bit of a long one. But basically i found out i was pregnant with baby #4 in January this year. We already have 3 under 5 but we decided we would manage, that is until i was around 8 weeks and i was suffering with severe Hyperemsis Gravidum (uncontrollable vomiting) i was so so ill and was struggling to care for our other children and even get out of bed. So we made the decision sadly to terminate the pregnancy. I was too ashamed to go to our GP so my partner phoned Marie Stopes and organised the termination. They booked me in for surgical termination on March 10th using suction under heavy sedation.
I attended the clinic at 10;30 am and was rushed in for a quick ultrasound scan to confirm i was 11+1 weeks i also had a finger prick type blood spot test to check blood type then i was asked about contraception and i decided on the IUD to be fitted at the same time . Ten minutes later i was sat in a busy waiting room with blaring loud music and tacky magazines to read which felt like i was queuing for a spray tan. Women were going in one after the other within minutes like a conveyor belt. i was then called through and told to undress and lay on the operating table. I was at this point highly distressed and crying my eyes out because of how awful it was and because i wasnt 100% sure of my decision. The doctor inserted a canula then injected a sedative in my arm before i even had chance to ask any questions or change my mind, it all went black. I then woke up to two nurses telling me it was complete and i had to walk into another busy room full of other women clearly just aborted their babies. i sat on a chair for 5 mins until i didnt feel dizzy then the nurse told me to go in the bathroom to get dressed and have a wee. another 5 mins passed and they discharged me with an antibiotic to take home. i was sobbing my eyes out in the waiting room and no one asked if i was ok or offered any counselling. I then went home to my children and partner and spend all weekend crying and in quite a lot of pain.
4 days later i was sat in my GP surgery in incredible pain and crying my eyes out. i was sent to hospital to be checked over. I ended up being kept in. They decided my coil had been inserted wrong at Marie Stopes and this had given me a severe infection in my womb so i was put on strong antibiotics then discharged several days later. i continued to deteriorate and still had very high HCG in my blood so i was readmitted and this time they scanned me to discover i had retained products in my womb and a shadow on my ovary. I was rushed to theater with a suspected Hetero topic pregnancy (ectopic as well as a normal pregnancy developing) they removed it and also cleaned out my womb. i was discharged a few days later.
My HCG continued to persist but was gradually declining. On the 12th April it was still 17.5 but they discharged me from the consultant. i also got the results back from the lab of the 'retained products' and the consultant informed me it was in fact parts of my baby still left inside me from the abortion!
. I then started to bleed on april 5th and EPU told me it was my first AF returning. it has now been 2.5 weeks and still bleeding very heavily. on friday morning i passed a large smelly piece of liver-like tissue along with strong cramps and pressure. My gp took one look and said it definitely was placenta! i am being referred for a scan on monday to check if there is anymore remaining but hes astounded that there can be any products left after 2 womb cleaning procedures.
i am distraught after this whole experience and totally regretting it. i have sleepless nights and nightmares and im incredibly anxious in general. i feel very down and low. my partner wants to sue marie stopes for how they treated me and have mentally and physically scarred me. i am 50/50 about this because a few people have said we ABU to think about making a claim.
what do people think? i know it wont probably make me feel any better but if i can stop other women going through this awful experience then thats a plus in my eyes

Squirmy65ghyg Sun 23-Apr-17 21:16:26

I'm so sorry about your experience but I think suing won't help you.

WorraLiberty Sun 23-Apr-17 21:17:11

OMG YANBU at all

That sounds absolutely awful OP thanks

I'm not sure that taking money from such an already overstretched service would help though.

But I would definitely complain and take it all the way to the top.

Rainydayspending Sun 23-Apr-17 21:22:17

I am sorry that you had such an awful experience. I had a procedure following a mmc which failed and developed a severe uti and of course experienced a miscarriage some days later. It was explained to me (little comfort to you or me) that failure is a risk of the d&c (or whatever it is called). This was through the nhs.
Personally I wouldn't make attempt to sue, i don't rember being informed of the risk but my husband did see it in the paperwork.

Peanutandphoenix Sun 23-Apr-17 21:22:23

Suing them isn't going to help or change what's happened think you just need to learn to live with what's happened. I hope everything sorts it's self out soon and the bleeding stops.

QuiteLikely5 Sun 23-Apr-17 21:22:37

Call irwin Mitchell they do no win no fee and will usually tell you pretty quickly if you have a case or not

Sorry for your experience too, it's sounds dreadful

DeadGood Sun 23-Apr-17 21:25:39

Hope you feel better soon OP.

Magstermay Sun 23-Apr-17 21:27:12

I am very, very sorry. It sounds as though you have had an awful experience flowers.

I'm not sure suing would help but I would definitely make a complaint and follow it through and go from there.

NotStoppedAllDay Sun 23-Apr-17 21:30:00

Yabu

Why wasn't your DH or someone there to support you?

Calvinlookingforhobbs Sun 23-Apr-17 21:30:56

This should have trigger warning in the title. What a terrible world we live in

Aderyn2016 Sun 23-Apr-17 21:31:36

I think you have to make a formal complaint and follow it through. I don't onow if that would involve suing. But if patients don't complain about shoddy treatment, then it continues. How many other women have suffered or will suffer because no one took the time to check the procedures were done properly?

dogsdoodars Sun 23-Apr-17 21:37:15

My DH couldnt be there because we have no family around us to babysit. My eldest two are in nursery but we have a 1 year old who had to come with us. It was in Manchester which is 1.5 hours drive from us, my DH drove me there then took baby out whilst i went in because they dont allow babies inside the clinic understandably

Gingerbreadmam Sun 23-Apr-17 21:37:44

retained products is a risk in a d&c and is very clearly highlighted in nhs paperwork.

i have only evrr had treatment for mc. do you not take tablets to wind the pregnancy down first before a private surgical procedure and does a doctor not speak to you first?

WorraLiberty Sun 23-Apr-17 21:39:02

Why does everything need a trigger warning?

The name Marie Stopes in the thread title should be enough to tell those who may be triggered, not to open it.

eddielizzard Sun 23-Apr-17 21:42:25

you were treated appallingly. but won't suing just prolong this all? can you make a complaint instead?

first thing i'd do is write down a full account, all the details you can remember, so you have a record and don't have to rely on memory.

so sorry.

BrieAndChilli Sun 23-Apr-17 21:42:38

I don't believe in suing unless there is a financial loss but I would make a complaint and maybe ask for some counselling paid for by them to help you process what has happened to you
A complaint should make them reassess thier procedures

Blinkyblink Sun 23-Apr-17 21:43:23

Someone highly qualified in insurance here.

I am so sorry for what you have been through. Devastating.

However, there is no case here. You had a dreadful time but have not suffered any tangible loss that will affect future earnings or similar.

As for the distress you experienced, you went through a terrible time but fundamentally an abortion is a terrible time, so your distress is a case of a bad situation being exacerbated by the detail. The "conveyor" belt p, the magazine etc, whilst perhaps inappropriate, holds no grounds for negligence whatsoever. The retained products could indeed be a sign of carelessness but it is quite common.

So, in short, whilst you have my sympathy, please put aside any thoughts of pursuing a legal claim. There are no grounds and you would be wasting your time.

aliceinwanderland Sun 23-Apr-17 21:43:27

That sounds like an awful experience. I am not sure that suing is the way to go though. Money is going to be a poor compensation for what you've gone through and suing will not be without risk. I would have thought a complaint to their regulatory body would be the better option. I think it's the Care Quality Commission?

Whydididothatfuckingthing Sun 23-Apr-17 21:43:51

I had an awful experience at a Marie Stopes clinic 20 years ago. Won't go into details but imho they are barbaric and should be closed down.

I'm so sorry that you have had to go though this, I'm not sure suing is the answer, but I would put in a formal complaint with them and any regulatory body. I'm actually not sure who regulates private clinic/charities etc but it is worth looking into.

Take care of yourself.

FairNotFair Sun 23-Apr-17 21:43:57

It sounds as though counselling will be more constructive than suing sad

dogsdoodars Sun 23-Apr-17 21:44:47

No, no tablets are taken before a surgical abortion, basically the whole pregnancy is supposed to be removed using suction.
No doctor sees you before hand either. Basically my partner phoned marie stopes and requested a termination. The lady on the phone is not medically trained in any way shape or form, she is just a call center worker. She asks your reason for wanting the termination, then forwards the form onto two different doctors who will authorise it and sign the forms behind the scenes, this makes it legal even though DOH state it is in the best interest of patients to see a doctor face to face before hand.
The only time you see a doctor is when you lay on the operating table and he injects the sedative
Im very sorry if ive offended or upset anyone. This was not my intention, i thought putting marie stopes in the title would explain what it was about roughly . sorry.

Crankycunt Sun 23-Apr-17 21:45:40

Hmm completely different to my experience.

You obviously didn't want the abortion, and are lashing out. It's interesting some of language used.

Why didn't you get help for the HG?

user1492526833 Sun 23-Apr-17 21:46:52

Agree with a trigger warning. This thread is giving me flashbacks of my termination 4 years ago sad

CrochetBelle Sun 23-Apr-17 21:49:43

Are you going to sue the NHS too? From what I understand they failed to fully vacate the womb too?

Mumgyver Sun 23-Apr-17 21:51:08

I'm so sorry OP, you were treated very poorly at a vulnerable time when what you needed was care and understanding, not to mention proper explanation of the risks and checking of consent.

I've had three surgeries for various things and each time I've been asked to confirm my name and why I'm there and that I consent before the cannula was fitted, then once we got into theatre again I had to confirm who I was and why I was there and did I consent , then once the anaesthetic was in (done under spinal) I had to say - nice and clearly for the audio recording - my name, why I was there, that the risks had been explained to me and that I consented. They didn't begin until I'd done that last one.

I think the first step would be to request a copy of your notes, under data protection law you are allowed access to them although they may charge an administrator fee (up to a set maximum amount). Once you have your notes, go through them and see if their version tallies with yours. Highlight any discrepancies, anything that differs to how it happened on the day, anything that happened that wasn't explained to you. Also get a copy of your relevant NHS notes for all the follow up care you've needed.

Once you've done that, make a formal complaint. They should have a written complaints procedure including who to contact with your complaint and how long it will take them to respond. You can use the copy of your notes to refer to specific incidents (e.g., "at 3.05 I was examined by xxxx" etc). Once they've responded to your complaint then decide from there whether or not to sue.

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