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Do you cater for everyone at family events?

(122 Posts)
OnTheUp13 Sun 23-Apr-17 20:49:34

Just come home from a family get together. It was a relatives birthday if that makes any difference. We all live local to each other and see each other every other weekend either at each other's houses or we meet up and take the kids to country parks/swimming whatever.

So there's 9 adults and 5 kids. Same people as usual.

We get there today and when food is put out there's nothing I can eat. I'm a vegetarian and have been for 15ish years. I'm not an ethical veggie nor do I worry about meat being near veggie food, I eat quorn etc. When they all come to my house I cook meat etc my DH & DD arent veggie

So AIBU to expect there to be something I can eat? As whenever we go to their house there's nothing I can eat.

Hulababy Sun 23-Apr-17 20:50:54

Yes I do, and everywhere I visit cater for me (don't eat meat) too.

2cats2many Sun 23-Apr-17 20:51:25

That's really rude of them. YANBU.

OnTheUp13 Sun 23-Apr-17 20:52:27

Thank you Hula! I worry that people think I'm being precious.

Okite Sun 23-Apr-17 20:52:30

No of course yanbu. The relatives we see regularly have all sorts of dietary requirements. It makes it almost impossible to do a sit down meal everyone can eat so we always do buffet food, and they do the same when we visit them.

WinBigly Sun 23-Apr-17 20:52:37

Was there literally nothing you could eat?

It does seem rude not to get some Quorn sausages or falafel etc. Not exactly difficult to prepare.

PrettyGoodLife Sun 23-Apr-17 20:53:37

YANBU I always do my best to cater for everyone

bigchris Sun 23-Apr-17 20:53:55

What did they serve? Surely there was carbs and green stuff ?

OlennasWimple Sun 23-Apr-17 20:54:18

There's "catering for everyone" meaning "I'll do sausage rolls for Harry, because they're his favourite, and quiche for Betty because she likes that recipe I do, and better do that casserole for Jimmy that no-one else likes but he always asks if we can have...." type of thing, which I very much do not do.

Then there's recognising that some people have particular dietary requirements and restrictions and ensuring that they have something that they are able to eat even if they can't partake in everything.

sorry your family are so rude

Goldfishjane Sun 23-Apr-17 20:54:45

If I invite people I cater for them all
I'm veggie now but wasn't in the past and catered for vegan and gluten free
I had a cold meat platter last time I had people round (in summer ) because some of them really want meat or fish and I invited them so I catered for what they'd like. I do understand if veggies don't want to serve meat but I can't see any excuse for inviting people and not catering properly.

Topuptheglass Sun 23-Apr-17 20:55:07

Did you ask why the sudden change?

Ive a large extended family & we all cater for each other, veggies, dairy intolerance & gluten intolerance.

Pinkheart5915 Sun 23-Apr-17 20:55:20

I always cater for anyone that's veggie/vegan or has actual allergies.

Very rude they had nothing you could eat I mean not even a cheese&onion quiche, cous cous salad etc very mean indeed. Why anyone does all meat is beyond me, a meat eater can eat things that don't contain meat as well so from a variety point i don't get it

wheresthel1ght Sun 23-Apr-17 20:56:12

that is exceptionally rude of them! I always make sure everyone is catered for. I recently hosted Easter with 12 members of our family, my niece is fully dairy allergic and I made sure that everything down to the gravy was dairy free so that she could enjoy the same meal as the rest of us.

I am lactose intolerant and have a violent allergy to chilli - it has been this way for over 25 years and there are still members of my family who don't think when they do food or arrange meals out.

AppleOfMyEye10 Sun 23-Apr-17 20:58:01

Yanbu op I would definitely cater for a vegetarian. Especially as it's family of course.

OnTheUp13 Sun 23-Apr-17 20:58:10

We do often do buffet style which is why I'm always hmm at their not being a veggie option. We always ask if we can bring anything and people often ask me to make a few bits (which are often veggie) that everyone enjoys. I'm infamous for my spinach and feta samosas wink

SmilingButClueless Sun 23-Apr-17 20:59:14

This used to really annoy me with one particular set of family members!

I don't eat a very common type of food - never have, even from a very small child. Not just a case of being fussy, I literally can't force it down (sensory issues).

Family always did buffet. Every time, every single item on the buffet contained that type of food. Cue the passive-aggressive comments about me not eating.

They wonder why I no longer accept invites...

So, no, YANBU.

CountFosco Sun 23-Apr-17 20:59:32

We have various food allergies etc in our family. Everyone is catered for, although not everything is suitable for everyone, e.g. we have two different food issues that the only puddings that would be acceptable for both would be fruit salad or jelly. We tend to make puddings either 'Uncle X' or 'Child Y' friendly so both have something they can have and the rest of us get extra choice! Surely it's all good to have a variety of foods especially pudding.

harderandharder2breathe Sun 23-Apr-17 21:00:22


Vegetarian is a very common, easy to cater for diet.

Vegan or allergies are harder but I'd at least try and do something they could eat if I liked them enough to invite them to my house and feed them! I'd speak to them beforehand for ideas, and would make sure they got first go at the buffet so meat eaters hadn't nabbed all the veggie sausages etc

It must be pretty difficult to put on a buffet or meal where EVERYTHING has meat in it though

OnTheUp13 Sun 23-Apr-17 21:00:21

Win it was hot meat rolls! So nope nothing veggie! If she had told me before I would've taken along some quorn sausages or something to stick in the oven.

Goldfishjane Sun 23-Apr-17 21:03:01

So OP how was it done? Literally all dishes bar veg had meat in?

Goldfishjane Sun 23-Apr-17 21:03:57

Oh cross post
No plain rolls either?

Bluntness100 Sun 23-Apr-17 21:04:05

Yes this is deliberately rude and you don't do it, normal etiquette is you cater for dietary requirements, it's a pain in the ass often, don't get me wrong, but uou do it or don't invite the person. Common courtesy,

OnTheUp13 Sun 23-Apr-17 21:06:11

I really must say that it's only at this particular relatives house.

I'm really not precious about meat either. Like I say I cook meat probably once a week for DH & DD. The reason I don't cook it more often is I CBA to cook two different meals 😂 and DH has said he could happily be a veggie now aside from bacon

I always make sure there's something for them and the kids. Like a PP said I know Child X likes this cake so I bake that and Adult Y likes the samosas so I'll cook them and Adult Z really likes the cheesecake I make so I do that etc.

Also I will eat anything apart from meat E.g. I'm not bothered about something containing animal fats so I will eat roast potatoes done in lard. It's actual flesh I just choose not to eat.

Also it's been that way since I've known her! So it's hardly my latest fad

bunnylove99 Sun 23-Apr-17 21:06:38

Yanbu. I have family round for a buffet a couple of times a year and always ensure I make several veggie dishes. Hot meat rolls for a birthday party?! That's rubbish. Not much better for the meat eaters either.

WinBigly Sun 23-Apr-17 21:07:00

Serving meat rolls to a veggie, how ignorant can you get!

Do you think they are doing it deliberately in the hope you will crack under the stress of hunger and rejoin the Omni side of the family?!

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