"It doesn't matter what you think, it's not even your house!"(90 Posts)
Sorry, another neighbour one but I need an outside opinion. Totally prepared to be told it's me with the issues, it seems things with neighbours have being going on for so long that things that shouldn't annoy me now are... it's getting to the stage where me and DH are genuinely thinking about looking for another house.
We rent and live in a 3 bed semi-detached house, the house joining us own their property. We have two young children (2 and 10 months) and they have 6 aged between 1 and 16, we've lived here almost a year and it's only in the last few months that things with the neighbours have become strained. I can't think of an incident that set it off but it all started about Christmas time.
We live at the bottom of a cul-de-sac, we both have 2 parking spaces, one directly outside of the property and a parking bay across the road. We have 1 vehicle and they have 2 (I've tried to provide an illustration!) just before Christmas it became increasingly common that i would arrive back from work around 5.15pm and NDN would have both of their cars parked in the spaces outside of the properties, theirs and ours. I would park across the road and then have to carry DS1 and DS2 into the house. I asked NDN politely if they could leave our space free as we needed it, especially when I was taking two children into the house and it was raining. They apologised but nothing changed, they still park in our space 4-5 days a week. When their parents visit they park across the two parked cars (ours and theirs) blocking us in.
For what it's worth I don't know what they do for work/if they work but they are both in the house almost all day. I have just returned to work after maternity leave so have been home myself to notice their comings and goings.
They do a lot of DIY on their house, this is fine, they are entitled to do it and if it's very noisy I take the children over to my parents or out for the day. I don't expect absolute silence from them. However, last weekend they decided to fit a new fireplace at 11.30pm on a Sunday evening. Obviously this woke up DS1 who was terrified of the drilling (as was I to be honest) and wouldn't settle until around 2am. DH went round to ask if it was necessary to do DIY using tools at that time and that they have woken up our kids, their response was they also had kids and they were awake so it was ok this was an extreme case but they regularly hammer, drill, move furniture etc...after 8-9pm.
Now the evenings are lighter the children are playing in the gardens more, ours and theirs, which is lovely. The children are nice enough but if they're outside at the same time as DS1 (2) they do make fun of him (mock his speech, tell him he's a baby because he wears a nappy, ask him to say wee wee and poo poo etc...) so we try to keep DS away when we can. Their parents have heard them doing this and said nothing.
Bedtime for our children is about 7.30pm - this past week the children next door (5 year old twins and 7 year old) have still been playing on the trampoline in the garden at gone 10.30pm. (They are back at school
and it doesn't seem to matter if it's a weekend, school night, holidays etc...) They don't play quietly and even had a water balloon fight last night, in the dark. Its not my business what anyone else decides to do with their children but as my DSs window backs onto the gardens he has been disturbed every night and woken up crying, so it's started to affect mine.
Today I spoke to the mum and just asked if it was possible to remind the children to not scream and shout later in the evening as my son was being woken. Her response was "it's doesn't mattter what you think, it's not even your house!" And she walked off so it seems that because they own their house and we rent we just have to put up and shut up.
I don't like confrontation, I don't want to cause friction with the neighbours when we have to live here. I'm thinking of contacting our letting agent and landlord but don't know if I'll get anywhere. Has anyone who has rented had anything similar with owners? Is it worth speaking to them again, writing a letter or do you think I'm wasting my breath? I've read a lot about owners having problems with renters and what to do but not the other way round
Sounds awful. In your shoes I would probably rent elsewhere if that were an option.
Brutally, I think you should move. They sound like inconsiderate twats.
I'd complain to the agent who you rent from about the parking. You are paying rent for a parking space so let the people getting paid by you sort it out so you have your place.
She nice you're renting and have a bit more freedom to leave, I'd leave if I were you, if you can afford to do so. They sound horrible and really uncooperative and inconsiderate - I doubt you could say anything to make them more reasonable and they sound like the type of neighbours who would just escalate if you take any type of 'revenge' (e.g. Being noisy in the early mornings because they're noisy at night). I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this kind of thing - it can be horribly stressful to have selfish neighbours so I do think in the long run, for your own mental health, you should look for somewhere else to live. Preferably with a drive.
I'd move, sounds like a horrible atmosphere to live in
No words of wisdom here but didn't want to read and run. That's awful. You should complain to your landlord and letting agent.
Op just move, these situations only get worse. You are renting so although it's a pain it is reasonably easy to move to somewhere with better neighbours
YANBU, I hate it when home owners think they have more rights than people who rent - it is still a home to the person/people living there, regardless of who owns it and they have exactly the same rights.
The last people who lived here didn't renew after the initial 6 months were up. I'm starting to think I know why
I have been looking on Rightmove but not properly, I thought I might be being a tad dramatic. I don't know if it's a good thing or not that it seems it's not just me that thinks it's just going to escalate
I would also look at renting elsewhere. That's a whole range of entrenched behaviours and it will be less trouble to move than to inch by inch work on getting them to change them all. Though in the meantime, I'd be trying to occupy the car parking space as often as I could. Plus I'd go and knock the door and ask them to move it each time. And I wouldn't let their kids play in your garden if they're being unkind to your DS.
It was horrible of her to say that, the whole family sound vile. But, that is the beauty of renting, you can leave. It is your home and no of course you shouldn't have to go but in your shoes with those shitty neighbours I'd be leaving pronto.
Yes, complain to the agent about the parking. Still move, but complain..
Life's too short to put up with ignorant people's crap, find somewhere else for sure. Id still contact the estate agents, and make them aware of what is going on. Although they probably know if the last tenants moved after the initial 6 months! Good luck property searching.
6 kids and parking in your space..YANBU. I'd move.
Report her and her feral brats to the social work department.
Children being deprived of routine and sleep can be a sign of abuse.
I can just about imagine the chaos in her 3 bed semi with 3 fucking kids.
You can't win the parking wars, especially if they don't appear to work. Are you sure they own their house?
They might just be claiming they do so they never get challenged on their anti-social behaviour.
People can be cunts.
Thank your lucky stars you're renting and therefore free to move!!! Just go! I'd have moved months ago if I had to put up with this shit!!! Make sure you tell the agents why, so they can pass it on to the landlord.
that's awful for your family- doesn't sound like they'll change so I'd move- but make sure you log all the problems and their responses and give to the letting agent- keep a dated copy and send to the new tenants too, so la cant pretend they didn't know and did nothing to make situation better for prospective tenants
we had frightful neighbours at a time we couldn't move, (couldn't sell and couldn't afford to buy or rent another property at the time) its horrible being stuck with it and really bad for your mental well-being- so really, if you can afford to cut your losses, move. for you
I'd make sure your landlord knows why you're leaving. He or she might want to address these issues with the neighbours themselves to try to avoid future problems for future tenants.
They sound awful. Definitely move! It'll just get worse as the kids get older.
Move, they sound horrible and I doubt anything you do will change them
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