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AIBU to request a day off for DS re cousin's wedding?

(19 Posts)
tigerdriverII Sun 23-Apr-17 14:21:46

DH's nephew is getting married in a few weeks on a Friday morning. DH and I are close to his DSis and her husband. We've been invited to the wedding alongside DS (15, Y10).

I can't for a moment see DS's school agreeing to this absence. He's not a star pupil, by a long chalk and after all, it's just a cousin and just a wedding.

Pulling a sickie won't work mainly because DS won't be able to keep it quiet, and also because it'll be all over Facebook and he'll be tagged. And also because I don't really approve of sickies, I'd rather be truthful.

AIBU therefore to seek permission from school for the absence and if, as I fully expect it to be, it's refused, to take him anyway? He won't have had to make up the sickie, can feel ok to talk about it with his friends and the responsibility for breaching the refusal is mine.

Any thoughts? I'm not, by the way, interested in the ethics of all this: just the practicalities.

miwelaisjacydo Sun 23-Apr-17 14:27:59

You can just take him it would go down as an unauthorised abcence. So long as his attendance is ok then it shouldn't cause an issue.

tigerdriverII Sun 23-Apr-17 14:32:07

Ah, good point: his attendance is generally pretty good, marred a bit by a nasty bug last term, but usually high 90%s or 100% ( I suspect that some of his tutors would actually prefer to see less of him at times!)

Penfold007 Sun 23-Apr-17 14:33:18

Could somebody pick DS up from school and keep him until you get back from the wedding?

tigerdriverII Sun 23-Apr-17 14:36:58

I think at 15 he's more than capable of getting home himself!grin

No, the point is that he wants to go, his cousin wants him there and we want to take him. Blow that Friday weddings have become a thing!

I just want to minimise the fall-out, if any, for him at school.

nothingtodotoday Sun 23-Apr-17 14:47:49

You didn't choose the wedding date, it is a family wedding. Just take him. Life is too short to worry about school absences for things like this!

haveacupoftea Sun 23-Apr-17 14:50:17

I'd take him if he has no exams coming up. Teachers haven't much interest in pupils who have no exams upcoming at this time of year anyway.

Trifleorbust Sun 23-Apr-17 14:50:59

It's up to you, providing you are aware you may be fined.

HarryPottersMagicWand Sun 23-Apr-17 14:51:36

Just say he isn't coming in. It's one day for a wedding. I took my DCs out for a day this week. We had tickets to something that required travelling. I don't feel guilty, it was something amazing that they loved.

BernieKosar Sun 23-Apr-17 14:51:48

Just keep him off. No need for drama.

HarryPottersMagicWand Sun 23-Apr-17 14:52:06

You don't get fined for 1 day. It needs to be 4 days or more.

Oldraver Sun 23-Apr-17 14:55:48

Just take him. Send a letter telling them he wont be in due to going to a family wedding.

DS is going to a football match on Friday...they will just get a polite letter saying he wont be in

tigerdriverII Sun 23-Apr-17 15:00:05

Perfect. And frankly I'd be pissed off if there was a fine but it wouldn't stop me. I'll tell them the day before, so there's no time for arguments.

<<Removes overthinking cap>>

Trifleorbust Sun 23-Apr-17 15:42:13

I'm not sure what fall-out you think there would be other than a potential fine, which you don't seem bothered about?

LornaD40 Sun 23-Apr-17 15:46:00

Ask for authorisation, if you don't get it then I wouldn't worry as it is only one day unauthorised and wouldn't meet the criteria for a fine unless he has other unauthorised days, and go anyway.

OvariesForgotHerPassword Sun 23-Apr-17 15:52:13

Just take him. Family wedding will be more memorable than one day of school.

Penfold007 Sun 23-Apr-17 17:53:56

15!!!!! sorry I missed that blush

tigerdriverII Sun 23-Apr-17 18:01:54


No worries smile : it did rather amuse me though!

I think my mind's made up - thank you all

bimbobaggins Sun 23-Apr-17 18:11:24

I have never asked the school in advance for authorisation. I would just phone in and say won't be at school that day due to family wedding. It will go down as unauthorised but that's what it would be if you asked and they said no

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