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To tell off another child at soft play?

(262 Posts)
Embarrassedatsoftplay Sun 23-Apr-17 13:39:39

I saw a 5/6 year old repeatedly slapping my DD who's 2 years in the 0-3 area of soft play. I ran over immediately saying 'hey!' As she kept slapping her. I picked up dd who had been pummelled to the floor by other child and had red on one cheek and scratch marks, turned around, couldn't see parent and said 'you don't hit another child like' that in a shocked/raised (not shouting voice). I realise my panic transferred into the voice and I feel awful I didn't deal with it in calm and collected way, and just pick her up and find member of staff to deal with parent (who was in corner with headphones on, on phone facing away from soft play). This is first time I've seen DD be hit like this and I can see scratch marks on neck and arm but face has returned to normal colour. I know you're not meant to tell other people's kids of and I'm shaking/feeling awful.

Monkeydust Sun 23-Apr-17 13:42:33

You acted calmer then I would of. Id of gone straight to the parent and told her yo get a handle in her kid.

I get so annoyed when big kids go in the baby areas and parents just shrug while small children are pushed to a corner.

Monkeydust Sun 23-Apr-17 13:42:57

To get a handle on her kid*

Monkeydust Sun 23-Apr-17 13:43:23

Id of probably said brat .. not kid to be fair

JustAKitten Sun 23-Apr-17 13:44:00


The other day, DS was trying to climb up a slide and other children kept coming down and not letting him go up.

I told them after they'd gone down to let DS go up because they couldn't hog the slide.

streetface Sun 23-Apr-17 13:44:59

Do not give yourself a hard time over this AT ALL. You were completely within your rights as YOUR child was being attacked. Under any other circumstances, it is not really ok to tell another child off but a 5-6 year old physically hurting your OWN child...damn right you can say something!!

Did the kid's parent even find out what had happened and intervene? Poor you and DD I hope you are both ok.

Jamhandprints Sun 23-Apr-17 13:45:10

You did the right thing. X x

SaltyandSweet Sun 23-Apr-17 13:45:29

You did fine, in fact, you behaved much better than I would have! I would also have gone straight to the parent and probably lost my temper.

WorraLiberty Sun 23-Apr-17 13:47:44

Of course it's ok.

It's not like you screamed in the child's face.

At 5/6 years of age, they need to learn that this sort of behaviour will provoke anger/annoyance in others.

The parent should have been watching/supervising though.

user1491572121 Sun 23-Apr-17 13:47:51

I once politely asked a little boy to move off the slide...he was sitting on the actual slide...and no other kids could slide down without booting him in the head.

I said something like "Perhaps you could come off there now so the other children can have a slide?"

And he SCREAMED and burst into tears! He was about seven. HIs mum was on a bench...I had not realised she was his parent as she was just sitting there for ages whilst he blocked the slide.

She stood up and said "WHAT did you say to him!?? and I told her and she said

He can play however he wants to! He's just as much right as they others!!

Silly cow.

MrsPringles Sun 23-Apr-17 13:48:17

I agree, definitely did the right thing. Gives me rage that some parents chuck their kids in a soft play and pretend they don't exist whilst their little cherubs are merrily whacking kids with plastic balls and generally being little shits.

Hope your DD is ok flowers

LauraPalmersBodybag Sun 23-Apr-17 13:50:11

I think your reaction was totally fine op. Children need boundaries and if this one wasn't getting it from her mum you were right to step in. You most importantly have to advocate for your child, which you did.

I'd also see nothing wrong with taking both children over to the other parent and showing her what had happened, and expect them to talk to their child.

Sorry your dd's been hurt.

sparepantsandtoothbrush Sun 23-Apr-17 13:51:07

justakitten I'm hoping you don't mean your son was trying to climb up the actual slide?


AnnieanoniMouse Sun 23-Apr-17 13:53:34

Of course you weren't unreasonabe.

I'm an adult. I'll tell off any child misbehaving - if people don't be like that, tough.

JustAKitten. That's really not on. If children are using equipment in the way it's intended to be used, it's rude to make them stop doing so in order for your child to use it differently. I'm perfectly happy to let them go upslides, walk along see saw bars etc, but they understand they can only do that when others aren't using them and when others come to play they have to use the equipment in the way it is designed to be used.

Mothervulva Sun 23-Apr-17 13:53:56

Of course you can tell other kids off, especially if they're slapping your child and they are 5/6.

khajiit13 Sun 23-Apr-17 13:54:02

Seriously justakitten? I get the impression from your post that your DS was actually trying to climb up the slide itself? If so you're in the wrong there.

OP you sound very restrained considering the injuries you describe, yanbu

DorotheaHomeAlone Sun 23-Apr-17 13:54:11

justa Was that a joke? You told kids to stop going down the slide so your kid could climb it?

DorotheaHomeAlone Sun 23-Apr-17 13:55:45

OP YWNBU. But I'm all for adults wading in on bad behaviour. Takes a village etc

WorraLiberty Sun 23-Apr-17 13:56:57

justakitten!! grin grin

Embarrassedatsoftplay Sun 23-Apr-17 13:58:14

Thank you. Dd had lunch fine and is now sleeping. She needed cuddles and encouragement to play again but had a good time running around for another half hour. I'm a bit shaky and teary, and appreciate responses here. Thought I was being a PFB. Staff did intervene and alerted father who brought her over to apologise but the girl refused to. He sat down and chatted with her for a while, she played a bit longer and then they left.

I don't really know how to handle scenarios where child is being mean or spiteful. Usually at play group it's just toy hogging or boisterousness.

A lot of parents go there so they can just put their kids in soft play and then sit at the booths.

TaliDiNozzo Sun 23-Apr-17 13:58:55

I assumed justakitten was referring to the steps on the slide that her DS was trying to climb, but I could be wrong!

OP, you did the right thing. Unfortunately some parents seem to think they no longer need to supervise in soft play, like it's some weird parallel universe where they're absolved of all responsibility.

JustAKitten Sun 23-Apr-17 14:00:02

My son is 20 months. He gets a turn on the stuff too, if he wants to spend his walking up it how is that a problem?

RiversrunWoodville Sun 23-Apr-17 14:01:03

Op I don't believe you did wrong when your child was being hit and their parent was not watching or intervening.
justakitten I would firmly but politely told my dds to continue using the slide correctly as we had been working on how it was both rude and dangerous to go up not down them and they don't have to move for someone using it wrong

WorraLiberty Sun 23-Apr-17 14:02:17

My son is 20 months. He gets a turn on the stuff too, if he wants to spend his walking up it how is that a problem?

Stairs = Up

Slide = Down

If he wants to do any different, let him wait until it's empty.

JustAKitten Sun 23-Apr-17 14:02:35

Rivers there's no right way to play. It's polite to let others take a turn. How they want to spend their turn is up to them

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