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Annoying talk, sarcastic? Not sure.

(10 Posts)
LovelyBath77 Sat 22-Apr-17 14:27:02

I have this thing with a relative and really not sure if it's me being sensitive or not.

It is an odd way of talking, during chatting, which makes me feel uncomfortable here are some examples:

In front of others, asked about my diet and when it's obvious I haven;t lost weight it's mentioned how well I'm obviously doing and how it's really working etc.

When obviously having a quiet day at home, asked, oh, busy day then? and then asked what I'm doing, I mention I'm just popping out to the chemist oh, I hope you enjoy your trip to the chemist!

- making me feel boring (obviously not busy) or sad (enjoying me oh so exciting trip to the chemists)

Does anyone else get this kind of stuff? and have any idea what it is about? Or am I just being sensitive. Thanks.

UppityHumpty Sat 22-Apr-17 14:28:55

I do this a lot. I don't really listen and mouth engages before brain does. From my part it's not personal but if this annoys you then def raise it with her.

LovelyBath77 Sat 22-Apr-17 14:33:13

It's maybe the same kind of thing. Maybe best not take it personally.

CauliflowerSqueeze Sat 22-Apr-17 14:36:00

Make up a ridiculous day or stupid responses to her.

"Wow you've lost lots of weight!"
"I know!! 6 stone in 3 weeks can you believe it!!" When she says "really??" insist, "yes!!! Well it's just over 6 stone and all I did was cut out my evening apple!! You should try it!"

"What are you up to today?"
"Well I've just robbed a bank, shaved the cat and I'm about to set up my "sex-cam"! How about you?"
When she says "no seriously!" just keep insisting.

She's being a patronising bitch so let her have it back in spades.

QuiteLikely5 Sat 22-Apr-17 14:37:45

This sounds like someone is trying to make conversation- are things akward between you?

It's hard to say if its sarcasm

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sat 22-Apr-17 15:32:03

Sounds like a socially awkward person trying to make conversation.

You do sound over sensitive, I wouldn't take offence at any of those statements, of course, I know my life isn't boring so I'd never feel anyone was suggesting that. Are you sensitive because you feel that your life is boring?

KurriKurri Sat 22-Apr-17 15:58:20

None of this sounds deliberately nasty to me.It sounds as if she finds it hard to make conversation.
What's the alternative to 'you are doing well' if the topic is dieting 'oh you don't look as if you've lost any weight at all, do you just eat cake ?'

You are going to the chemist - they could say 'that sounds unbelievably dull'

I think you are projecting your own insecurities about how you feel about yourself onto your relative.

I think CauliflowerSneezes responses will make you look like a raving loon frankly.

LovelyBath77 Sun 23-Apr-17 10:39:57

Yes, i mean it may even be encouraging. they know I've depression. maybe trying to be positive or something. thanks for the replies.

HardcoreLadyType Sun 23-Apr-17 11:07:21

IMO, there is no need to mention dieting at all, if someone has clearly not lost weight, or if they don't mention the subject themselves. I think it's a bit of a personal subject. Perhaps you could drop that into conversation, one time, if it's brought up.

(I am currently on a diet, and I had to ask DH to stop asking me everyday how much weight I had lost. A) I find it a bit of a boring topic, and B) if my weight has gone up slightly from yesterday for some reason, I might not want to talk about it.)

I would answer, "busy day?" with, "oh, no, I'm having a lovely quiet day at home".

And the chemist comment I would respond with something like, "I'll try not to let the excitement get to me, too much wink". If the person is joking, then a bit of banter back is the right tone, but if they are being PA, then you have put them in their place.

This person may be socially awkward, as others have said, but I suspect you think they are being judgemental, and that they believe they have a right to be. In which case, remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt; "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

LadyPW Sun 23-Apr-17 11:15:33

It's just trying to make conversation, that's all. You think that's bad, you should hear some of the crap that comes out of my mouth when I'm trying really hard to fit in hmm
Still, I'll remember this and in future if I know someone is dieting but don't look different I'll opt for "so the diet's not working then? God, it's going you ages to shift all that flab at the rate you're going." rather than trying to be supportive.

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