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Miffed off lol!

(11 Posts)
Izzywizzywoo2016 Sat 22-Apr-17 14:06:05

AIBU? please tell me honestly. I babysit for a couple who have 2 children. I look after them every thursday for a few hours and sometimes on weekends. I even have them when im not being paid because my own son is same age as their little one. And they get on well and are friends. I was at their house on thursday and the older child was telling me they were having a party this sunday for her little brothers 2nd birthday. It was the first id heard of it and my son had not had an invite. So i just thought maybe it was a family thing. However i was making the kids tea and saw a list on the fridge of childrens names- a few children i know from previous childcare jobs. It looked to me as an invite list. My son was not on it though. That evening i went home and i messaged the parent like i usually do. Telling her what we have all done and that i would pop over on weekend with a present for her son. She replied ignoring that part and just said glad you had a lovely day.
She then text a good friend of mine who told me that she had said shes doing a party for the boys birthday and inviting little ones his age on sunday at 3pm....

Now AIBU to be miffed my son has not been invited to the party?
I have known them 7 years. I have looked after the oldest since she was 6 months old. We buy eachother birthday and xmas gifts and last year they came to my sons 1st birthday party...

PeaFaceMcgee Sat 22-Apr-17 14:11:32

YABU I'm afraid if the youngest was given his choice of friends and yours were not included.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sat 22-Apr-17 14:12:50

Personally I would start treating her like an employer not a friend from now on.
No more freebies / cards /gifts. .

PeaFaceMcgee Sat 22-Apr-17 14:13:22

Oh sorry, I see he's 2yrs... I think she just sees you as the childminder tbh.. but yanbu to feel a bit hurt

UppityHumpty Sat 22-Apr-17 14:14:20

Yanbu. It's clear she doesn't value you or your son. I would suggest scaling back the free babysitting for a bit tbh.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Sat 22-Apr-17 14:14:38

Have you been invited to other birthday parties?

QuiteLikely5 Sat 22-Apr-17 14:15:52

Did de only have space for a certain number of children?

Don't blow a friendship for no reason ask her outright?

Izzywizzywoo2016 Sat 22-Apr-17 14:26:44

I do feel hurt by it. I have always thought we were good friends. I do her alot of favours and i never ask anything in return. Theres been many a night where they have gone on a night out and told me they would be home at a certain time. Then text me 10 minutes before saying they will be another hour or so.
I think its got to me because shes always telling me her children adore their time with me and the oldest asks when is thursday. When can we see becca?
And the bond i have with them both is lovely.
Last year for their sons 1st birthday they were in scotland so i knew they had no party planned then. And previous years for older child they did family things or have been visiting family in london etc. its more the fact that my son and her son are little friends. And i know he cant decide at 2 who is on a party invite, but the mum can. I feel like my son has been left out and i cant understand why sad

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Sat 22-Apr-17 14:26:48

It sounds more like you're an employee than a friend. Perhaps the free babysitting you mention is considered a play date by them. They pay you for the regular babysitting presumably. I'm thinking maybe the lines have been blurred a bit hence the confusion/upset here.

Izzywizzywoo2016 Sat 22-Apr-17 14:40:27

They do pay me. And i take my own son with me to theirs on the thursdays and when i babysit on weekends. Because that was what they offered. They have even passed my name and number on to other friends and co workers that would like a babysitter. So i know she trusts me and i did think she valued our friendship. I was a friend first too before i started childcare for them. Iv accepted now were not invited but it does not change how im feeling. Im glad my son is too young to understand and know whats going on.
I will see them again next thursday as im babysitting so im sure the older child will tell me all about the party. X

HallowedMimic Sat 22-Apr-17 14:46:03

From what you've written, they sound like employers, not friends.

Do you actually socialise with the parents alone?

Many nannies and childminders arrange for their own kids to be present while working.

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