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Is sending one text a day impossible?

(13 Posts)
Dontgiveaflyingfuck Sat 22-Apr-17 07:50:10

Ex is a tit. He lives 10 minutes away and by choice sees dd1&2 for 2 x 24 hr visits per calandar month. There is no contact between visits. Dd1 is 8 and has said that she doesn't feel her Dad is part of her life and hates visiting because he doesn't know her. So has asked him to text her once a day - she'd look at bedtime and respond. He said not to my phone. So i bought and set up a contract phone so she'd have privacy and a facebook account so she and he could messenger each other and share photos. In 7 days he has contacted her 4 times. He saya its unreasonable to expect him to text/messege everyday as he works. My current dp works 12 hr shifts and manages to text/message/phone during work breaks. AIBU to expect the man to contact his daughter once a fucking day?

Trifleorbust Sat 22-Apr-17 07:53:06

What job does he do? On the surface of it I would say YANBU. However, I think it is between him and his DD and you be wrong to insist on this.

KayTee87 Sat 22-Apr-17 07:54:07

Yanbu - sadly his dd is clearly not top priority for him. I bet if he had a new gf he would manage to text her everyday.

pasturesgreen Sat 22-Apr-17 07:56:45

Four times in a week is not terrible.
What's his job? Does he work away or odd shifts, can he easily access phone?

AyeAmarok Sat 22-Apr-17 07:58:41

Anyone who works can text once a day. He just can't be arsed, because he's not that bothered.

Poor DD. sad

He's a shit.

dailymailarecunts Sat 22-Apr-17 08:05:14

The thing is, my son goes through phases where he needs more reassurance than others - if he had gone out of his way to reassure her, love bomb her if you like, then I would put money on fact he could then relax it a bit if he ever had a really crazy day at work. He's being an arse, it's the sort of thing as a parent you just do. You poor DD.

Ps when ds was smaller I used to cover for his dad by saying daddy just called / daddy was asking how your day was / daddy sent this chocolate bar etc etc. I realised I was actually setting ds up for disappointment though and stopped all that. It's so bloody hard to watch someone hurt your child though. I'm sorry flowers

KayTee87 Sat 22-Apr-17 08:07:33

Aw dailymail that's so sad sad

usernumbernine Sat 22-Apr-17 08:08:59

He clearly can't be bothered, and you're putting an expectation on him you knew he was never going to meet.

Why on earth did you get an 8 year old a contract phone though? And facebook at 8? The T&C of facebook are for 13 and up. For those two things you were ridiculous. She has no need of facebook at 8 and no need for a contract phone.

statetrooperstacey Sat 22-Apr-17 08:13:23

No It's not too much to ask.If I only saw my child for 2 days a month I would make the effort.
My eldest dd is in her 20s and no longer lives at home, we pretty much text/ speak everyday. Could he think this is what you want so is dicking you about? Is he aware it's his dds suggestion?

statetrooperstacey Sat 22-Apr-17 08:15:10

Kids contracts star at £7.50 month, actually very reasonable,y 10 year old had one lat year.

NapQueen Sat 22-Apr-17 08:18:49

How hard is it to pull into the works caroark in the morning, text "morning sweetheart, have a good day" and then go into work? 2 bloody seconds if he saves it as a template.

He doesnt do it because either (1) he doesnt see its important (2) he forgets (3) he is being spiteful and not doing it because he knows it what she would like.

usernumbernine Sat 22-Apr-17 08:19:44

I wouldn't let a child of that age have a contract phone - I'd have a pay and go for them, but not a contract.

Prepared to accept I'm old fashioned on that.

Dontgiveaflyingfuck Sat 22-Apr-17 09:42:49

She has contract because its an add on to mine - £5 a month for unlimited calls/texts. Its a shite phone which can only be used to call or text. He wouldn't text my phone as he doesn't "trust" me to pass on the measage. This was his same argument for not paying maintance for 3 years - he didn't trust me. Oddly enough he didn't agree with paying upfront for uniform/after school clubs either! And facebook is just so she can use messenger to send photos back and forth as she cannot send photos with her phone.

He works 4 days a week between 2 and 10 p.m. I guess i find it hard as DP often works 12 hour shifts 6 days straight and manages to text/ring/video call me and all our dc.

And its not me asking! This is from dd1 - she asked and i told her to ask him. I know she did because he then emailed me.

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