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to ask for a little money for his kid?

(14 Posts)
rghttothepoint Fri 21-Apr-17 21:29:44

I will try and keep this to the basics.

I have a 5yo Daughter with my Ex. He has three other children two to his current marriage and one to another woman.

He only works part time so that he can look after the two LO's he has at home his wife works full time. He is an unskilled worker and as such only earns about 13k a year.

Because He has chosen to go part time it means I get very little maintenance from him £30 a week. He used to pay more but recently he decided to lower it!

I am really struggling on my own. I work full time, need to get some new school items for my DD and some of her morning clubs have gone up in price and as such I have asked him to pay a little more. I am talking like an extra £5pw not ground breaking amounts.

He has flatly refused! I have said he is not helping enough financially and he checked CMA and because of his other dependencies, its coming out at a whopping £17 a week. this is nearly half what I currently get.

I am so angry he gets to work part time and pay so little I have to work full time and struggle so much to makes ends meat.

He is now trying to say he's doing me a favour by not lowering the payments to the minimum!!!! he has always paid this amount its the agreement we have in place. I ask for a little help and now he expects me to be grateful that hes not giving me less money.

All he ever says is how poor he is and would give more if he could but its not like I am made of money and I have to pay for everything to do with our daughter.

AIBU here, I feel like I am going insane?

StillDrivingMeBonkers Fri 21-Apr-17 21:40:31

He's paying twice what he legally has to. That may morally be wrong in your eyes. He does have three other children in this equation. However you will still be getting child benefit and presumably tax credits?

Awwlookatmybabyspider Fri 21-Apr-17 21:50:00

"He's paying twice what he legally has to.'.
For his own child. Wow. That's very kind of him.
Give him a knighthoodhmm

Underthemoonlight Fri 21-Apr-17 22:23:57

I only get 140 a month that works out on average 35 a week varies depending on number of weeks in a month. Ex works f/t with one dependant. There's not a lot you can do but accept what your currently get.

Underthemoonlight Fri 21-Apr-17 22:24:56

I understand it's shit I get the minimum calculated via CM. But it's better than nothing.

ThePants999 Fri 21-Apr-17 22:36:59

And do you know how much he has to split between his other three children?

chocolatespiders Fri 21-Apr-17 22:43:43

I get £119 a month from ex. He has one other dependent and earns £500 a week. I think he should contribute more than £28 a week from his wages but I would never let him know I could do with it.
I work 36 hours a week plus some bank shifts.
I would try and manage without it

Underthemoonlight Fri 21-Apr-17 22:46:36

I'm guessing he also pays 120 to the other mom so that's 240 alone then he has the other two to buy for that he leaves with.

StealthPolarBear Fri 21-Apr-17 22:46:50

Man buggers off
Woman picks up pieces
Sorry op sad
Guessing you spend more tHan £30 but he doesn't have to

MarcelineTheVampire Fri 21-Apr-17 22:52:17

If he's not working and a SAHD surely he can help with childcare? That should save you some money...

YANBU but the system is what it is unfortunately!!

NoSquirrels Fri 21-Apr-17 22:55:06

It's shit. He's been irresponsible having more children than he can properly support. But he gives you twice what he's legally obliged to, and if you protest too much you'll just shoot yourself (& your DD) in the foot. It may not be "fair" morally but legally he's doing over and above.

Peanutandphoenix Fri 21-Apr-17 23:02:46

It's shit that he gets away with so little it costs more than 30 quid a week to feed and clothe a child but he thinks you should be greatful for what you get yeah right. Am afraid that you will just have to suck it up because if you complain too much he might act like a bigger tosser than he already is and drop the money to 17 quid a week. It's shit that he gets to create a child and then walk away and pay so little a week but the system is seriously flawed.

rghttothepoint Fri 21-Apr-17 23:15:57

Thank you for all your advice I feel a little less insane now smile

You are of course right its the system to blame for it really but I thought he would step up.

Spoken a bit more now and he will have DD an extra night a week so I don't have to pay for that day. so its at least a little better now.

StealthPolarBear Sat 22-Apr-17 10:21:14

Ok I will slightly elevate my opinion of him. He does sound like he's willing to do something. Of course the stuff he chooses not to do, you have to - no choice there (and as long parents we woldnt want there to be...bt still )

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