Babysitter requesting beers?

[N0tNowBernard]

Sorry if this is a well trodden path but I'm fairly new to MN. I've arranged a babysitter (family member) for our 2 year old DS tomorrow night. I've just text to see if they want any snacks getting in and they've asked for beers. As they're babysitting I wouldn't have expected them to be drinking. I am pretty uptight about things so don't want to kick up a fuss over nothing but I don't really like the idea of this. AIBU?

[KC225]

Not on. Snacks yes. Beers no.

And for everyone saying you will have a drink on your own home. You also know your limits, know your child and know how much before you fall alseep on the sofa.

[Pinkheart5915]

I drink a glass of wine or 2 as does dh when we have our dc here so I'd personally have no issue with it. I also wouldn't expect mil or my parents not to drink when babysitting

Just say "I'd rather you didn't drink if that's ok, can I get something else in for you?"

[Swissgemma]

Are they being paid? that for me is the difference - don't drink if you are working - if i hire a babysitter in I would not expect drinking and would find it odd. but I would have a couple of drinks of an evening and look after my 21 month old so wouldn't judge a family member doing the same.

[Cammysmoma]

Hell no.

No.

So irresponsible. Just say 'shit I forgot to grab them' go with your gut woman! X

[Obsidian77]

Agree -you don't drink if you're working.

[Questioningeverything]

I'd go back with 'ha as if you'd drink while watching dc!'

[Laiste]

How old are they and are you paying them?

To be honest whatever the answers i wouldn't like someone drinking while babysitting my kids. I'd have to say sorry but no. Or if i really couldn't bring myself to say it or trust them not to drink anyway then i'd make up a reason to cancel the night out.

[Justmadeperfectflapjacks]

Get some alcohol free beer. .

[ralphi]

I don' t think you need to pretend to have forgotten to buy them. If they are being paid then you can tell them straight there is no alcohol while on the job. End of.

[TheExuberant1]

I don't agree with babysitters drinking, my views are the same as KC225.
When I was a child my babysitter fell asleep on the sofa after drinking wine and almost set the house alight!

[PurpleDaisies]

I think it's fine to have a beer or other alcoholic drink, but not enough to put you over the drink driving limit.

When I've babysat, the hosts have often left a bottle of wine.

[N0tNowBernard]

Thanks guys!! Can't speak to hubby as it's a surprise night out for him and it's a family member so not being paid. Yes I did wonder about saying I'd forgotten to get them!! That might be a good option.

[FoxesSitOnBoxes]

No way! The fact that they asked would make me question their judgement

[N0tNowBernard]

Also it would be a worry during our meal because I'll be checking in all of the time.

[PurpleDaisies]

Does this guy have form for getting drunk or behaving irresponsibly?

[ChaiTeaTaiChi]

It's not like parents never have a drink, and as they are doing you a favour its not something you can complain about.
Either you trust them to look after your kid or you don't, end of story. If you do, they can judge it for themselves, and if you don't trust them you shouldn't be leaving them anyway.

[Goosewings]

I babysit often for many different families. I would say about 50% of the time they say "help yourself to beer or wine from the fridge."
I've never done so and certainly wouldn't request it!... But if they have always been offered beer they might not see that it is a bit weird to request it.

[FatOldBag]

I'd reply "I hope that's a joke".

[3boys3dogshelp]

In that case say you bought them and your DH drank them and you couldn't tell him they weren't for him.

[NerrSnerr]

If they're a family member who is not being paid I would go with your gut regarding how much they drink. There is one family member of mine who would never babysit as they have alcohol issues and I is they'd get drunk, others I wouldn't have an issue with them having a few beers as I know they'd still be competent in caring for the child.

[PaintingByNumbers]

unpaid family member, presumably over 18? i'd have got beers in without being asked.

[Laiste]

Trouble is with saying you've forgotten or someone else has drunk it ect is that they could say they're going to quickly pop out for some before you go and then you're faced with being honest or worrying all night.

[Primaryteach87]

I've offered beer to be in for a babysitter who was doing us a favour (friend). Unless they never drink or are very easily drunk then one or two beers wouldn't make them incapabale of babysitting. I drink in moderation with my children here in bed so don't see how it's any different. If I thought they were the sort to drink to drunk or neglect my children I wouldn't have asked then to babysit in the first place.

[DontTouchTheMoustache]

Totally up to you as they are your children so if you feel uncomfortable then just say so. Personally it wouldn't bother me but I'd maybe just but 4 small, low alcohol bottles so they can have a drink but won't be drunk. For most people 1 or 2 beers wouldn't impact on their ability to look after children.

[WallisFrizz]

Got to be honest, providing a couple of beers to an unpaid reliable trustworthy (if that is the case) family member probably wouldn't bother me. In fact, when I babysat for my neighbour's dc a few months ago they told me to help myself to a glass of wine if I fancied it (I didn't).

Ultimately though, if you're not comfortable with it, just don't provide them.