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To go against my mums wishes

(40 Posts)
UserOP Fri 21-Apr-17 17:58:58

I decided today that I would like to run as an MP in the next election (the party I'm considering has open applications for my area)

When I told DM on the phone today, she massively kicked off, saying I was selfish and that if I become and MP the press would run stories about how she's on disability benefits etc.

I see her point but I think shes making this about her, and that I have a right to do whatever I want with my life. a AIBU?

UserOP Fri 21-Apr-17 17:59:38

Sorry for all the spelling mistakes, stupid phone!

AristotlesTrousers Fri 21-Apr-17 18:01:58

Absolutely YANBU. What a great ambition to have. Your DM should be proud of you!

PuntCuffin Fri 21-Apr-17 18:11:50

DH has been threatening to stand too. He has been doing this intermittently since we met. I have consistently told him that I do not want to be an MP's wife and he should decide which is more important to him, his marriage or his desire to be an MP. I told him how I felt before we were married so as far as I am concerned, he has already made the decision.

My position is because there are things in my dim and distant past which I do not want to read about in the Daily Heil. DH doesn't know about them and it is best kept that way.

I have both a previous boyfriend who was an MP and a close relation who is still one now.

alfagirl73 Fri 21-Apr-17 18:12:23

Good for you! Takes guts to do that. Go for it. YANBU.

ArsenalsPlayingAtHome Fri 21-Apr-17 18:13:02

Do it UserOP. I thought you were going to say she kicked off because she didn't want you to have the pressure & stress. Sounds like the kind of thing my mother would do - make it about her. Not that I'd ever be that ambitious! Good luck!

SabineUndine Fri 21-Apr-17 18:14:21

Blimey. Tell your mum it's not about her! I think it's great you have ambition.

TenFeetTall Fri 21-Apr-17 18:18:34

I think we need more MPs whose families are on disability benefits. You have seen first hand how screwed the system is and I would hope you would use that to help drive change. It makes me sad that she believes being disabled is a shameful secret. It shows how absolutely broken our society is.

TenFeetTall Fri 21-Apr-17 18:19:34

YANBU btw. It's not an easy job at all and I wish you luck. Just make sure you know what you are letting yourself in for,

CheeseCakeSunflowers Fri 21-Apr-17 18:20:43

Why is her claiming disability benefits a problem? If she qualifies for them that's fine. I say go for it.

MiltopMighty Fri 21-Apr-17 18:21:18

YANBU. Go for it. There is no shame in your mum being on disability benefits. Cameron's son received disability benefits.

Bantanddec Fri 21-Apr-17 18:23:44

Yanbu OP and good luck! I don't see how it's got anything to do with her disability benefits!

ragz134 Fri 21-Apr-17 18:23:47

YANBU. It is your life.
I would imagine if your party has opened up applications then they are not in with a likely chance of winning anyway?

MovingtoParadise Fri 21-Apr-17 18:24:46


I'm also considering it. But it's really hard work campaigning and getting elected.

UserOP Fri 21-Apr-17 18:29:53

Thanks Everyone

Just to clear up, DM receives disability for MH problems and she has constantly been reviewed and accused of lying, so it's not totally unreasonable for her to worry about stories that could be used against her etc

Birdsgottaf1y Fri 21-Apr-17 18:41:49

Are you going to support your Mum fully,if the exposure causes a deterioration in her MH?

It depends on what Party you are standing for, some get more interest than others on certain issues, but there is always a level of interest.

Do you have Teens, what do they think?

PovertyPain Fri 21-Apr-17 18:43:50

I do feel sorry for your mum, op. It's entirely up to you what you do, but how will you feel if a story about your mum's mental health appears in the local paper? It is something you need to discuss further with her, if you want to maintain a close relationship, assuming you have a good relationship, that is.

AppearingNormal Fri 21-Apr-17 18:48:51

Is it UKIP ?

RebootYourEngine Fri 21-Apr-17 18:49:23

I think its great that you want to follow your ambitions however i can see where your mum is coming from because when you are in the public eye you are opening yourself up to a lot of abuse.

MiltopMighty Fri 21-Apr-17 18:49:51

If it is UKIP then YABU

Tootsiepops Fri 21-Apr-17 18:50:00

It could involve a level of media scrutiny that your mum's mental health may not be able to cope with. I would consider her feelings before I went ahead with it (not saying you shouldn't do it, but you do need to be realistic about how intrusive it might be for the people connected to you).

UserOP Fri 21-Apr-17 18:50:58

No, it's one of the two major left wing parties

Obsidian77 Fri 21-Apr-17 18:54:13

A tough one.
I'm about 70% in favour of you going for it, the country needs more decent principled people playing an active part in the democratic process.
At the same time it could be very gruelling for your mum and definitely trigger her MH issues.

UserOP Fri 21-Apr-17 18:57:43

I think at the minute I'm struggling to be fully sympathetic to her because of the way she handled it. She had a massive go, and didn't at any point acknowledge the dilemma

I don't have teens just a young DD smile

AppearingNormal Fri 21-Apr-17 19:02:20

How much experience have you got, are you politically active now ?

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