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To think this toddler needed a severe telling off?

(144 Posts)
newmumwithquestions Fri 21-Apr-17 15:41:21

At a busy play centre:
There's a toddler - I'd guess around 2. He's being pretty lairy, this is what we observed:
He tries to drag another toddler out of a ride on car.
He pushes over a younger toddler.
He hits an older toddler in the face - amazingly they don't retaliate.
He takes a wooden stick and uses it to hit another slightly younger toddler on the head.
I have one of mine on my knee, my family member is child free and goes over 3 times and tells him to stop, removes the stick etc. She doesn't shout.

We ask a couple of other mums but can't work out who his parent is. Then he goes over to one of mine, younger than him, hits her in the face. She falls over, falls backwards and hits her head. Lots of screaming. My family member picks her up and shouts at toddler ('don't you hit her again'). Toddler starts crying.

Parent is still unaware. I ask again who the parent of small toddler is and eventually find parent. I tell parent what has happened. Parent apologises for him hitting her but does not make him say sorry, does not tell him off, does not ask if my DD is OK, does not ask what other children have been hit.

Parent is angry their child has been shouted at.

I think they should have been watching their toddler who frankly deserved a lot more than a few shouted words?

AIBU?

user1471521456 Fri 21-Apr-17 15:48:58

2 year olds don't need a severe telling off and they don't deserve to be shouted at or worse. What they need is good supervision. Your family member should have reserved their shouty voice for the parent.

PurpleDaisies Fri 21-Apr-17 15:51:26

Thd toddler should have been removed by the parent who should have been properly supervising. I don't know what good a "severe telling off" does a two year old over and above a clear "we do not hit other children" followed by taking them away from the children if they carry on.

ViolentDelights Fri 21-Apr-17 15:51:38

How is a grown adult shouting at a 2 year old better behaviour than the 2 year old was displaying?

The parent should have supervised much better but no 2 year old deserves to be shouted at like that.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Fri 21-Apr-17 15:52:54

I thinks the parents attitude shows exactly why the child is like that.

Spikeyball Fri 21-Apr-17 15:53:33

The toddler needed better supervision.

alltouchedout Fri 21-Apr-17 15:53:46

A severe telling off? How will that help?

SoloDance Fri 21-Apr-17 15:55:36

The toddler should have been more closely supervised by his parents. However shouting at a 2 year old is not really the way to go.

user1492528619 Fri 21-Apr-17 15:55:37

I think you were very restrained. I bet he stopped after that. It was not ideal to shout at him but what was the alternative? Sit him on the naughty step? You tried to find the parents to no avail, he would have carried on hurting other children. You did the only thing you could, maybe it will shock the mother to disciplining her own kid.

MiltopMighty Fri 21-Apr-17 15:56:58

A 2 year old needs a severe telling off? 🙄

Better supervision. That's all a rampaging 2 year old needs. No yelling, no severity.

user1492528619 Fri 21-Apr-17 15:58:40

Better supervision was not the OP's responsibility, protecting her child was. What would following the child round until finding his parents have done? He wouldn't have stopped hurting others. He obviously has no boundaries and thinks it's all fun and games

Wolfiefan Fri 21-Apr-17 15:59:43

Toddler isn't the problem.
Lazy parent is the problem.
You can't leave a two year old unsupervised at soft play. You need to watch and step in as necessary. You know that though.
Parents will be on here when that kid starts school. Complaining that the school isn't helping their special snowflake and boys will be boys. Etc etc bollocks.

DixieNormas Fri 21-Apr-17 16:01:26

Like most others have said, better supervision

You don't shout at other peoples 2 year olds regardless. What exactly do you think he deserved hmm

NeonGod73 Fri 21-Apr-17 16:01:30

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PurpleDaisies Fri 21-Apr-17 16:02:28

Oh bugger off neon. Autism isn't a bloody joke. biscuit

DavidBowieMime Fri 21-Apr-17 16:02:35

Another who agrees a severe telling off is not the way to go with a two year old ,. However any dc who is pre disposed to this sort of thing should never ever be left un attended and yes - needs constant supervision and consequences for this behavior.

I have known lovely mums who have sat back and let their dc run absolutely riot at toddler groups causing damage and destruction and chaos and its us other mums who therefore cannot get a break and have to watch their dc and ours like hawks, and its not fun when your own DC starts crying because of such a useless parent.

Nanny0gg Fri 21-Apr-17 16:02:54

I think they should have been watching their toddler who frankly deserved a lot more than a few shouted words?

Like what? A smack? Boxed ears?

The fault lay with the parent, not the child.

Trifleorbust Fri 21-Apr-17 16:03:33

Definitely lazy parenting. I would say he did deserve a telling off but not to be actually shouted at.

Spikeyball Fri 21-Apr-17 16:04:12

Stop being so goady neon.

DixieNormas Fri 21-Apr-17 16:04:59

Not all children with autism push or hit other children neon

Aeroflotgirl Fri 21-Apr-17 16:06:00

I would have told the child off(not severely), i would have taken the toddlers hand and went round to find the parent, and give them a bollocking.

Quartz2208 Fri 21-Apr-17 16:06:23

They needed supervision yes but he is 2 he needed guidance and boundaries

But what is more than a few shouting words to you? Shouting is ineffective means of disciplining

user1492528619 Fri 21-Apr-17 16:06:46

Regardless of whether he had learning difficulties or not. He was out of control and hurting other kids. The parents should have intervened but they didn't.

bibbitybobbityyhat Fri 21-Apr-17 16:06:48

"Severe telling off"

how foul!

What that little boy needs is better parenting and to be taken out of that situation.

I can't believe you actually typed that! You are talking about a baby fgs.

ScarlettFreestone Fri 21-Apr-17 16:07:02

Poor parenting on the part of the Mother, she should have been supervising.

I think reprimanding the child was fine but reprimanding is not the same as "shouting".

Shouting tends to be ineffective in terms of behaviour modification IME.

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