Post wedding blues(14 Posts)
I got married a month ago and I know this is going to sound really self pitying and sad but I am so gutted my wedding day is over and I'll never get another one! I keep staring at the photos trying to re-live the day and worrying I didn't enjoy it enough or make the most of it. I love being married but I'm gutted that special time in my life is over forever and all the planning, excitement and joy of the occasion is just a memory. Did anyone else feel the same after their wedding was over?
You need another project! Baby? House move? House renovation?
I felt exactly the same, it was awful! felt ridiculous for feeling that way though, but I just couldn't stop myself from trying to relive every tiny moment again in my head! I had that 'nothing to look forward to' feeling as soon as it was over! probably because of the months and months of planning and being so absorbed in it all!
But then, when I was planning it I never built it up in my mind as a "special time" either.
It's just a wedding.
Put the albums away. Right away. It's one thing to feel a bit sad it's over, but obsessing over albums isn't going to help you.
Put them away until your anniversary.
Surely you have something else of interest in your life right now? Job, hobbies, friendships?
I do have many things of interest in my life, but nothing all consuming like that was. I keep looking back thinking "I hope I made the most of it" and wishing I could do it again to experience it more if you know what I mean.
I knew someone who ran off with the best man the day she got back from her honeymoon. So she had been married for two weeks and had spent those 2 weeks in a luxury hotel in the sun and said she found married life boring.
Have you done nice things with the photos - are there any in frames around your house etc? What about arranging a collage of your favourites, or having one blown up large on a canvas (if that's your sort of thing)?
I really can see how you must have a huge hole in your life after all the time given over to planning, I certainly did although the first couple of months post wedding were filled up with preparing and writing thank you letters for all the presents.
Now think of all that lovely time you've got back to yourself - maybe take up something totally new? I got into climbing and improv theatre after I got married.
Haha I felt exactly the same!!! Tool me total by surprise haha. . Its normal and it will pass! You put so much time and thought into in and such a bug build up and then BAM its over. Little things like seeing my wedding ring every time I dry my hands under a hand dryer have cheered me up! That s the most exciting thing.. no matter where I am and how far away from husband I am he is wearing his band and I know he has my back. Nothing different from before we Married I guess but I don't know.. has helped me get over the blies
When I got the blues I also freaked out that we had maybe not done it all right and had spent too much and was seriously considering selling my drrss and wedding jewellery to make up for the horrendous cost (it was a low budget wedding and on reflexlction seriously not that bad haha but still sooo much money ) I rememebr lamenting to my new husband saying " oh god we could have gone on holiday amd bought IPADS!!!" Hahaha... I was a serious misery for about 2 weeks and I am lucky he didnt take it personally or divorce me haha.
I can understand that if you've planned a massive do which took months of exciting choosing of bits and bobs it WILL be an anti-climax when it's all done and dusted. It's natural.
I keep staring at the photos trying to re-live the day and worrying I didn't enjoy it enough or make the most of it.
^ ^ this bit mind you needs nipping in the bud. Stop the staring and the naval gazing.
How about taking up wedding planning as a hobby along side what ever work you do now and see what happens? If it takes off you can plan weddings 24/7 forever!
I should think this happens quite often. It's the result of all the ridiculous hysteria about the wedding day and forgetting that there's a marriage afterwards.
I felt like this. In fact I could stop crying the day after my wedding, I think DH wondered what he'd done marrying me! I cheered up when I got to our gorgeous honeymoon hotel.
I felt a bit lost when I got home after all the planning but got in with a few projects like house things and another holiday.
We have been married 11 years this year.
I was really worried I'd feel like this as the planning had been all consuming. As it was, I was so relieved when it was over. The wedding day itself was quite a big disappointment - dress that wouldn't stay fastened and I ended up been sewn into on arrival at the reception was just the start of it! Looking back at photos makes me sad that there's so much about the day that I didn't enjoy. But I absolutely LOVE being married, and really that's what it's all about. Throw yourself into a new project, enjoy being a wife instead of just a bride-to-be. It only gets better from here I reckon.
Three months to go until me and DP get married and In can barely keep my shit together, horrible anxiety that everything will go wrong, that we'll have forgotten to organise something viral, that my dress won't for, that there will be a massive family row, that the project I'm working on at work will have go tits up and I'll spent the whole wedding period worrying about it... I'm assured this is normal. Can you try thinking back to the pre wedding shitty times and rejoice that you had a lovely time and you never have to go through the crappy bits again?
Another one here who was just relieved it was over!
I really, really wanted to be married but viewed the wedding as a necessary hurdle to make that happen
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