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Neighbours hearing us arguing quite bad now and i'm so embarrassed..

(6 Posts)
user1492728351 Fri 21-Apr-17 00:50:55

I would love to hear any advice you may have no matter how raw..

So to explain recently my health has got quite bad ever since i lost my job through department redundancy 2 months ago (it was 35 people sacked not just me) i found i had a stomach ulcer and other gastro issues, to save money my mum has allowed me to stay rent free which is amazing, however she's now fed up and wants me to find a job but i'm only waiting for the tests to be done (NHS Waiting lists can be long). Firstly i'm not workshy, i love work and what I do, I feel I've lost my identity just from not working and have worked consistently since i left Uni (i'm 28) everyone in my family has a really strong work ethic as well, i just want to make sure i'm good before applying for work, i was also bullied quite badly because of my stomach issues towards the end of my last job, so I'm scared about rushing into a new place before the Gastro gives me the all clear, he has also stated it's quite serious and agrees with me, however mum is now fed up and wants me to look for work (fair enough) but i just need one more month for tests and for my stomach to adjust to the meds, but the fights have been quite bad now, the neighbours avoid me, despise me and have actually complained and i feel like i need to apologise to them, they don't need this negativity and agg, I don't know whether i should apologise in person or write letters, i really don't know what to do, i'm so ashamed i feel uncomfortable leaving the house especially as they've hard all my personal issues at what is probably the rockbottom of my life, I appreciate that you may find this pathetic with all the current problems in the world but i would appreciate some words of wisdom that i see on here a lot?

peachgreen Fri 21-Apr-17 13:42:34

Start temping. It takes the pressure off having to "perform" in a new job but will get you out of the house and get you some money to give to your mum for house-keeping.

You don't need to apologise to your neighbours - just keep it down in future.

KayTee87 Fri 21-Apr-17 13:45:40

Taking away the issues with the neighbours. It is likely to take longer than a month to find a job so I agree with your mother - you should start looking now.
Hope you feel better soon.

FanaticalFox Fri 21-Apr-17 13:48:49

Thats a shame. Are you on any benefits in the mean time so you can contribute to the household? Your mum sounds very unreasonable, perhaps get your consultant to explain to her how serious your issues are and would 1 more month without work really make thay much difference to her? Otherwise yes i agree temping is a good idea.

WeAllHaveWings Fri 21-Apr-17 14:14:17

If you only need a month for test results I would be tempted to spend the time ensuring your CV and Linked in page is spot on, you are enrolled with all the job search engines, agencies. Start applying for jobs now, interviews, job offers and start dates can take several weeks to come through.

You can start taking notes and prepare for interviews now for the standard tell me about a time you............. type questions.

Temping is a brilliant idea while you are waiting for results/between jobs.

What would you be doing if you weren't getting a free ride at your mums/can she afford to keep you? Redundancy can be a hard knock to your confidence and health issues at the same time is just not fair, but are you sure you aren't wallowing in it just a little? Unless your mum is extremely unreasonable you must be giving her the impression you are fit enough to work if she is giving you such a hard time?

user1492728351 Mon 24-Apr-17 00:48:58

Hey all

Thanks so much for the advice, i didn't even think anyone would reply!
Yes I've had time to think over the weekend and yes temping is the best plan, was probably putting too much pressure on myself to get the next perfect job partly because my family are big on achievement etc but ultimately i just want a job and this seems the best way to get back into work.

Nope i'm not on benefits, it seems a bit long-winded to be honest and i don't want to be out of work for long anyways, so I've given mum some of my savings to help out around the house etc, it's the least i can do and i love doing all that stuff.

As much as i love my mother she really doesn't mean to be but she is kinda being unreasonable, obviously she's supporting me so that's amazing but stress isn't really the best when you have an ulcer etc lol it's not cos she's a bad person, it's just the way she is, she's a survivor, she had a tough upbringing and works extremely hard i'm proud of her as she's has done well for herself, i also don't think I've ever seen her take a day off my whole life lol so she's just worried because obviously I'm 28 she wants me to be completely independent and doesn't want to see me wasting my life, but like I said the Gastro has said it is serious, i can feel the anti acid is allowing the ulcer to heal and then i'll do the tests he wants me to do and everything else and start looking now, my CV is all polished but i just need to brush up on interview questions etc.
@Weallhavewings Yes i probably am wallowing a little, just pissed off because this is not where i pictured myself at this age, but that's life right i'll stop being a baby and get over it!
Hopefully i'll be all fixed soon and out from under my mothers feet lol
Thanks for taking the time to answer, really didn't think anyone would even reply so really appreciate that, hope you guys all have a good week! :-)

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