Birthday hassle

[Brandnewbrighttomorrow]

By way of background we have a LOT of birthdays clustered around this time of year - it ends up costing not far off Christmas as so many of our children/close family were all born in a small window. Husband primary earner, works very long hours so I'm the primary carer for the kids plus work part time and take lead role for planning/organising events/trips/gifts etc. We are on different schedules - 2 hours difference between bedtimes/getting up.

Need to vent and conscious none of this is the end of the world BUT....

Decided to go to pub tonight to agree plan for the next week - lots of birthdays/house guests/family over and in the knowledge that everything works more smoothly if we've discussed it ahead of time off we went. It has been quite a long time since we've been out so what ended up happening was DH vented about work then we ended up having a state of the nation about the family finances. By the time we got to the birthday planning he'd run out of steam and insisted we could talk about it at home. Within 10 mins of being home he had switched off and then buggered off to bed, leaving me to figure it all out by myself.

AIBU to be irritated?!

[MommaGee]

Just sort it tomorrow?

[Birdsgottaf1y]

If you had a rare night out together, that was good, then i'd let it go.

Have you got a plan that you can just put to him and it can be easily agreed on? If not, tbh, i'd start to scale things back and enjoy your nights out.

[Brandnewbrighttomorrow]

I think it's annoyed me because he's so inconsistent about finance - most of the time he's fine and we're doing ok, I don't spend more than we can afford but as soon as the bigger bills come he then bitches about how much it's cost whilst still leaving everything to me

[edwinbear]

YANBU because you are a planner like me. But lots of people don't want to organise like we do. So this year, we've lost my income because I've been made redundant so I've simply explained we would prefer not to exchange gifts from now because our circumstances have changed. No big deal