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AIBU to be pissed off at midwife?!

(20 Posts)
toolatetochangemidwife Thu 20-Apr-17 20:11:59

If my midwife has MN then I'm screwed as it's quite specific things 
So, I've had this midwife for the last five weeks and she's managed to get everything wrong. Everything. Said the baby was breech and was too small, wasn't hitting the chart etc. Go to hospital two days later; head down, and verging on very large on the chart 
Told me I had really, really low iron (yesterday) and that I may have to go to a hospital (two hours away by car) yesterday (so on the same day) as she thought I'd need an iron drip. I saw her three times yesterday, twice she came to my house, once I went to her (one hour journey each way), and she took even more blood even though she took some that morning.
She then told me that I had a ridiculously high amount of sugar in my urine and that I had gestational diabetes (I barely managed to eat yesterday due to really sore tooth, so I don't think it was something that I ate) despite me not having any sugar a week ago.
So
She then tells me (this was yesterday evening) that I will have the drip next week but it's not an emergency, and that she'd spoken to the consultant and they weren't too concerned and didn't feel like I needed to go in asap. Fine.

So I make an emergency dentist appointment today as I'm in agony. Five minutes after I make the appointment, the midwife calls and said that she'd spoken to the consultant and that I had to go in today to be put on the drip as they were both concerned. I tell her that I have the dentist and would it be possible to do this tomorrow. Nope, had to do it today. In the hospital that's two hours away (so four hours driving in total), not the closer one (so someone had to take the day off work to take me due to poor transport - only one bus a day and goes nowhere near the hospital). Okay, fine, if it's urgent then it needs to be done, baby could be in danger etc (37 weeks). So I cancel the dentist. She said that I'd be in overnight, so had to take a bag etc, and have the drip for two days. Okay, not ideal, but if I have to then I have to. Asked me what time I could get there for (this was nearly 9am), I said probably 3/4, as I had to find the way and the means to get there. Nope, not soon enough. Fine. I arranged to get there for 12.

So I get there today at 11:30 (left straight away practically) to be told that the consultant never said that I needed the drip, but wanted me to have blood and urine tested and maybe iron tablets, all of which could have been done at the hospital that's not even an hour away. It wasn't urgent, they said that I didn't have to come today, despite the midwife making me cancel the dentist appointment and insist that I go. I was then told that (after they tested it) that there was no sugar in my urine; I haven't had really anything sugary for the past five days as I've felt sick when eating sweet things, so have avoided them. I definitely don't have gestational diabetes, they have no idea where that came from etc. I then get told that my iron is just under where it should be, the blood I had done today came back fine, and was prescribed tablets for iron, but absolutely no need for a drip.

AIBU to be really pissed off at this midwife? She's caused me so much worry when there's barely been anything wrong! And I'm still in agony with my tooth and they said that they can't see me until next week (unless it gets worse)!!angrysad

Whynotnowbaby Thu 20-Apr-17 20:16:50

That sounds awful and worrying that she clearly doesn't know what she's doing and could therefore miss something important. I don't know whether it's possible but could you say you won't see her and want a different one? Also complain about her having blatantly lied to you today as she clearly hadn't actually been told by consultant as she claimed.

Nanny0gg Thu 20-Apr-17 20:18:15

Tell your dentist it's worse...

Who does your midwife work for? Is it the local hospital? Can you complain to PALs? Can you ask for a different midwife?

MuffinMaiden Thu 20-Apr-17 20:21:28

I'd be furious and insist on both a new midwife, and that this one be made to sort herself out! She's clearly incapable of doing her job and has caused you unnecessary stress, and messed you about!

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 20-Apr-17 20:22:02

Maybe ask to check her qualifications at the very least??
Then request a replacement. .

Screwinthetuna Thu 20-Apr-17 20:24:59

I'd say change midwife but as you're 37 weeks then there isn't much points. She sounds rather frantic...

thatorchidmoment Thu 20-Apr-17 20:29:10

Oh dear. I've got a slightly incompetent midwife that has upset me a few times, but this is a completely different league! Is she mixing you up with a different patient entirely?! Did she mean you had ketones in your urine as you hadn't been eating properly? The iron thing is utterly mystifying.

You must complain politely about all this. Find out who is the head of midwifery services in your area and write or email. It may be that this midwife needs further training to spare you and others from the gaps in her knowledge.

I would also see if you could request a different midwife for the remainder of your pregnancy. You need someone you have confidence in looking after you.

flowers

SorryForCallingYourMumACunt Thu 20-Apr-17 20:29:28

that's fuckin weird. Complain to your surgery?

Robin7 Thu 20-Apr-17 20:29:36

Sounds like miscommunication between the mw and the hospital - I think unless you can be sure the consultant the clinic team spoke to was the same one your CMW spoke to, then it's difficult to say she got it wrong - there may just have been a difference of opinion between the clinicians it had been discussed with. It's also a bit unfair to say she got it wrong when referring you in re concerns about size and presentation - much better to be cautious and refer in to check you don't have undiagnosed breech or growth restricted baby at 37 weeks. I appreciate it's been a real pain, but much worse to miss a problem. Significant anaemia does need treating promptly at 37 weeks as it takes time for IV iron to have an effect on your blood count. I'd speak to your mw directly about any concerns before going directly to pals. Good luck with the end of your pregnancy.

Robin7 Thu 20-Apr-17 20:30:34

(She was wrong to say you had gestational diabetes on the basis of a urine dip though)

BathTangle Thu 20-Apr-17 20:30:49

Unless things have changed since I had my DCs, there will be a head of midwifery at the hospital - it sounds as though it might be worth finding out who that is and contacting them. My GP did this for me during my first pregnancy because he was so appalled at the care I received - I was meant to have shared care (50:50 midwife/GP) but the midwifery service in my area was so useless that my GP ended up doing most of the appointments (you'd be told you MUST have midwife appts at certain points eg 20 wks, 22 wks, 24wks, but when you tried to make the next appt they would tell you they had no space for 10 weeks!!)

Fragglez Thu 20-Apr-17 20:34:40

At 37 weeks there's not much point changing unless she will be at the birth? In which case i would be demanding someone different. The breach bit is fairly common i think, and better than her getting it the other way round. The rest, definitely not ok.

I would be a little concerned that she has you mixed up with someone else and there's a woman with dangerously low iron and gd just bobbing along thinking everything is fine though!

spiderlight Thu 20-Apr-17 20:36:10

That's appalling! I would definitely take it higher. And beg the dentist to see you tomorrow, say it's worse if you need to, but don't suffer for another week. You poor thing sad

WitchQueenofNewOrleans Thu 20-Apr-17 20:41:15

If it wasn't for the fact you're having to travel 2 hours to the hospital, I wondered if it was "Dippy D" the midwife I had!

Nonameyet1 Thu 20-Apr-17 20:47:16

Phone your dentist in the morning for an emergency appointment,they always keep some spare each day!
All sounds a but rubbish. Hope the next few weeks are less stressful for you!

Benedikte2 Thu 20-Apr-17 20:48:13

Please do something OP. Request a change of midwife -- still time for her to give you crucially poor advice and endanger the health of yourself and/or baby.

Sweetpotatoaddict Thu 20-Apr-17 21:05:03

Oh op it's sounds like you're having a really rough time. I'm definitely not defending her but I had a urine test with off the scale glucose in it at 36 weeks, turned out it was my shower gel with honey that I hadn't quite properly rinsed off.
The breach bit I've had with both pregnancies, my children must just have head shaped bottoms. The size also midwife said baby wasn't growing properly went for scan that suggested baby was huge totally contradicting midwife, baby was a completely normal 3.8kg at birth, so must have shrank since the growth scan that suggested 4.5kg at 39 weeks.
The repeat bloods will probably have been haematinics which would have been required due to a low haemaglobin.
The issue seems to be miscommunication between the midwife and the hospital, and it might not be the midwifes fault. However it must be extremely frustrating for you, and I can completely understand your annoyance. Please please try and relax, maybe contact maternity daycare before you attend on this midwifes word again.
I hope you get your tooth sorted out promptly, its a stressful time being heavily pregnant.

Crispmonster1 Thu 20-Apr-17 21:27:56

Go on the NMC register to check she is actually qualified! Then refuse to see her again either way.

Nicketynac Thu 20-Apr-17 21:43:57

I agree with PP about growth scans - I had them with both DCs and both were wildly inaccurate. (E.g. Scan saying baby on 75th centile then arriving one week later on 2nd centile)
The iron thing is crazy though - I don't understand how someone could get that so wrong. I would phone midwife myself and ask exactly who told her blood results and what to do about them. Surely anaemia is so common in pregnancy that she would know what is normally done about it. I would also ask for copies of any test results in future.

IndiaGrace Thu 20-Apr-17 21:51:29

I'm watching with interest. I cannot bear my midwife.

Nothing on the same scale as your story, OP, but the woman is so unprofessional she does my head in.

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