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To worry about money even though I don't need to?

(37 Posts)
justmeee Thu 20-Apr-17 18:59:42

I know the title sounds ridiculous but I do worry about money a lot and feel very guilty spending even though I don't have money worries.

I hope no one finds this insensitive and if you do have money worries I really feel for you.

Does anyone else feel like this and if so how do you hope with it?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 20-Apr-17 19:02:32

Have you ever had money worries?
I don't now but have had periods of extreme hardship. .
I don't think watching the pennies ever leaves you when you have been through financial hell tbh.

ZaraW Thu 20-Apr-17 19:03:33

You should be thankful you are doing OK I know a lot of people that are struggling. There's nothing wrong with being cautious with money. Set yourself an amount each month on luxuries and enjoy it.

Bobbins43 Thu 20-Apr-17 19:04:48

Can you specify what you mean by money worries? What exactly are you worrying about? Running out? Not being able to pay bills?

junebirthdaygirl Thu 20-Apr-17 19:05:10

How did your family react around mo ey? Stuff from your family of origin can really impact.
The messages you picked up there are difficult to get rid of.

mygorgeousmilo Thu 20-Apr-17 19:06:57

I get this, I worry about things that don't need to be worried about. I am in many ways relaxed and generous with money, but am always keeping an eye on savings and worrying about some kind of disaster arising that we won't be able to manage. I'm the same with bulk buying, food prep, even things like buying the kids their winter coats the first week of September. I always keep my car pretty much full. My nanna always says I have a 'wartime mentality'. I do enjoy my life, we travel loads and do fun and spontaneous stuff, but am always making sure everything is organised in the background. I'm not someone who chucks their bills in a drawer, everything is always up to date and dealt with. It sounds good but it means I'm constantly thinking ahead, which is really draining.

justmeee Thu 20-Apr-17 19:07:01

No I have never been in financial difficulties.

My parents are sibling are big savers.

I'm not sure what I'm worried about specifically, it's the overwhelming feeling of guilt that I struggle with, other than the actual money... Gah I know that makes no sense.

justmeee Thu 20-Apr-17 19:08:14

I'm the same with petrol! I hadn't thought about the two being connected before.

SantanicoPandemonium Thu 20-Apr-17 19:15:32

I grew up without money, and was seriously poor in my early 20s. I'm financially set now and I don't mind spending on things like holidays etc but I'm still careful with what I spend and always have back up savings just in case.

I remember what it's like to not have rent money, and I never want to be in that situation again.

And funny you mention petrol - if I get to a quarter tank, I can't relax until I've filled up again grin

justmeee Thu 20-Apr-17 19:19:28

I'm embarrassed to say that I can't let it go below half!! shock

1Evaline1 Thu 20-Apr-17 19:19:46

No matter how much money I have I like to plan a make notes down to the last penny so I can save as much as possible (which isn't very much), so even having a spare £30 makes me feel really good.

I don't have much left after bills are paid but My dc will get what they need even if it's treats etc.

I have been in bad debt in the past as a student and so I am trying to rebuild my credit rating at the moment

On the other hand my dp has a good lump of savings which he will use towards a mortgage at some point in the future.

justmeee Thu 20-Apr-17 19:25:24

I think that's part of makes me feel so guilty is there are people with nothing or so much less and they cope so why am I worried? It makes no logical sense but I just can't shake it.

Babyroobs Thu 20-Apr-17 19:27:06

We are not well off at the moment but we don't have a lot of excess money either. However in the past I have laid awake at night worrying about whether we could pay the mortgage and I think my anxiety over money still lingers !
Even though I now have more disposable income, I still buy a lot of my clothes from charity shops and search the supermarkets for bargains and really don't like wasting money on non- essential like fancy coffees or lunches out.
I suspect I will always be like this now.

bellasuewow Thu 20-Apr-17 19:31:06

I am like this, the guilt, the prepping, the petrol always keeping an eye out. I used to be poor and crap with money. I think it is hypervigilance about 'safety'.

Etymology23 Thu 20-Apr-17 19:46:39

I'm like this too - I save far more than my friends each month, and worry about spending. I'm on a good salary, but I buy most of my clothes second hand. I'm not too bad with food, but I do prep and freeze meals a bit. I get very twitchy under 1/4 of a tank - used to be half but I drive so much that pragmatism won!

Sometimes my spending leaves me lying awake at night panicking - despite the fact that I put a reasonable chunk into a pension every month and then save nearly a third of my net income.

Etymology23 Thu 20-Apr-17 19:48:40

I'm not badly off now, but my family was really tight for cash growing up - always just keeping our heads above water . Never in debt but only just. Never eat expensive cuts of meat (tbh I wouldn't know how to cook them) and the recipe lists mum has from when I was litttle are so cheap even I think they're stretching food too far. I still bulk all my meals like casseroles with lots of veg etc.

Wedrine4me Thu 20-Apr-17 20:30:25

I can happily spend on the kids or for the house but I feel guilty spending on me for some reason.
I like bargains. I think its value for money I crave rather than anything else, so I don't mind spending if I feel it's value for money.
I like to call it being careful rather than being mean. confused

PumpkinPie2016 Thu 20-Apr-17 20:38:24

I'm very cautious with money even though, like you, I am in the very fortunate position of being financially secure.

I always ensure I save and I am very careful about what I spend - I like to have a buffer in case of emergencies.

I thinkbit comes from the fact that my parents were really crap with money when I was growing up and I didn't want to be like that. I also had to budget very carefully as a student so I think that has stayed with me.

IlsaLund Thu 20-Apr-17 20:38:36

I'm like this OP. My parents were very careful with money and always chose the most frugal option and I'm sure it has influenced the way I am.

We're currently having house renovations done and although I have saved the money and can afford it if I start thinking about the breakdown of costs I get panicky.
I've learnt that cheap isn't always best, but I did nearly hyperventilate when buying good quality paint today and I'm not even thinking about the cost of my new windows!

hazelnutlatte Thu 20-Apr-17 20:38:53

My DH is like this, he isn't tight at all but has a panic every time we spend money! Last year we got a patio done and DH was on the verge of cancelling at the last minute because the car MOT was due and he was worried that if it didn't pass and needed work then we might need the money for that instead. That would be logical if we were spending all of our spare cash on the patio, but we weren't - there was plenty left in the bank for potential car repairs.
He is like this every time we consider a big purchase- it's a miracle I convinced him to buy a house.

Gaggleofgirls Thu 20-Apr-17 20:49:45

Reading all the posts sound exactly like me too, I put it down to having a mother who is terrible with money and a husband who spent all our savings, don't think I'll ever fully be at ease until I'm mortgage free and able to support myself fully

Strokethefurrywall Thu 20-Apr-17 20:53:06

I understand OP, DH and I are financially well off. We had a very healthy bank account but because we whacked a whole load onto our new home and have furnished it, its weaving dangerously close to my "unsafe" threshold, even though that threshold is a decent chunk of money.
It would be ok if it were not for the fact that we're not seeing the savings pot going back up after buying the new house and that is what's making me anxious, because both kids are in private school (no choice, we can't use government schools here) and we pay a year in advance.

So whilst on paper we look fucking swimming in it (and technically we are), I am turning myself a bit mad trying to be ultra frugal and it's massively exhausting. We've also had a number of unexpected expenses that took another bite and now I'm trying to claw it back.

I think once we see some decent progress into savings again and feel like we're getting back on track then I'll relax a little but until then I don't think I'll be able to help being a really nervous spender.

Foxyloxy1plus1 Thu 20-Apr-17 20:56:42

There's only been a brief spell when we have had sufficient disposable income to have foreign holidays, spend money without worrying etc.

We have to be careful again and I don't think that will change, but it's surprising how you get used to being careful again.

HazelBite Thu 20-Apr-17 21:06:28

I am like this too but (I'm now in my 60's) we have as a family been through several recessions and DH is a self employed builder, so we have been on our uppers several times.
However we have always survived and never starved and although we are comfortable now I still worry.

ragged Thu 20-Apr-17 21:23:40

I'm anorexic wrt money. I can fake being like a normal person for buying stuff that I have clearly logically thought about why I need it. But I hate any waste, or more than modest unnecessary spending. I am never convinced we really have enough.

I do not understand people who LIKE shopping & wasting money.

I had a bit of a mental breakdown about buying teenage DD clothes recently. (...and breathe...)

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