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To expect DH to take me at my word?

(40 Posts)
itstimeforchange Thu 20-Apr-17 11:16:57

This feels so petty but comes up SO often and really gets on my nerves. He takes things he reads or that other people say as fact, but not me. Like he thinks I'm lying all the time?! It's often on a totally unimportant subject too.

e.g. this morning...
Me: 'the new Aldi chocolate isn't is good as the old stuff.'
Him: 'It hasn't changed' (he doesn't even EAT it)
Me: 'Er, yes it has. It's a different shape for a start! And it doesn't taste the same.'
Him: 'But if it had changed it would say 'new recipe!''
Me: 'Not necessarily... Trust me, it's different, ok! Why can't you just believe me for once?! Not that it even matters!'

Aargh. Facepalm.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 20-Apr-17 11:20:58

Is he one for believing all the TV ads?
My exh was adamant all the families in the ads were real families!

Chloe84 Thu 20-Apr-17 11:21:38

Just start doing it to him, but even worse. e.g.

Him: It's raining
You: No, it's not
Him: Er, yes it is
You: I would know if it was raining

GettingScaredNow Thu 20-Apr-17 11:26:31

Hahaha. What Chloe said.
That is literally what my 4 year old does to me. And it drives me mad.
My ex husband did it too.
He's an EX. This was one of the reasons.

Sorry no help. But I would say this behaviour is indicative of a bigger problem. But then I'm jaded by my experiences.

Butterymuffin Thu 20-Apr-17 11:29:47

Say 'How do you know?' each time he starts this. So he has to justify his uninformed opinion rather than you jumping in to do it.

TinyTear Thu 20-Apr-17 11:51:14

Tell him that from someone working in food industry, companies often only advertise every 2 or 3 changes in recipe.

For example to reduce salt, or sugar, but they don't want people to go "eugh no salt," or "yuk taste horrible with less sugar" they tweak recipes to see if sales stay the same, then the next tweak they advertise it a bit...

MorrisZapp Thu 20-Apr-17 11:55:55

I have a friend like this. If I recommend a book or film she blanks it, but if someone else has recommended it she's like 'YEAH JENNY SAID THAT WAS GOOD I'M TOTALLY GOING TO CHECK IT OUT'

I mean I'm not the messiah but I'd hope my views would count for something.

picklemepopcorn Thu 20-Apr-17 11:58:57

Mine says no in a dismissive way, if a get a small detail wrong. So "it's going to be really hot this weekend, 22 degrees, apparently." "No, only 21.” Argh!

MyOtherNameIsTaken Thu 20-Apr-17 12:03:58

My OH accused me of watching a quiz show earlier in the day just so I could get the answers right when we watched it together last night.

No, it just happened that I actually knew the answers. angry

user1492517429 Thu 20-Apr-17 12:10:56

the McCain advert families are real I know one of them! not at all relevant but still

RedSkyAtNight Thu 20-Apr-17 12:16:20

Well - I don't know. I mean in your example you are right, but my DH has a very bad habit of stating things as fact that are either plain wrong or his opinion, and then getting really annoyed that I won't just accept what he says.

Magicpaintbrush Thu 20-Apr-17 12:26:16

That is reeeeally irritating OP. That is the sort of thing my DD (8) would say. It's like they have to contradict you for no reason just to prove you wrong???

Wormulonian Thu 20-Apr-17 12:30:54

Him: What time is it?
Me:12.27 -
Him: Is it? he goes off to check his phone anyway.

I'll tell him something - maybe about how we can save money - not listened to - a random at his sports club or the like tells him same thing and he comes home cock -a -hoop to report the amazing news!

Same with booking holidays all has to be re verified and checked. Often informs me of information that I told him a day or two before

One of the many deaths by a thousand cuts of a relationship.

OhMrBadger Thu 20-Apr-17 12:36:02

My DM does this. Recent example;

DM: our car is always filthy.
Me: there's lots of farm tracks near your house so there's bound to be lots of mud.
DM: no that's not it.
DSis: well, there are quite a lot of farms near by...
DM: yes, you're right!
Me: (screaming inwardly) I JUST SAID THAT!!!!!!!

She dismisses every. bloody. word. I. say.

Underparmummy Thu 20-Apr-17 12:38:11

Thats what my two older kids (7 and 5) do to me. Infantile.

Dh does cynically evaluate everything I say but he does it to everyone and does recognise when people are right.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 20-Apr-17 12:38:38

ex used to do that too. v annoying

Itmustbemyage Thu 20-Apr-17 12:41:20

My DH does the stating things as fact when in fact he doesn't actually know it for sure. So does my teenage DS, but of course all teenagers know everything about everything.
Drives me bonkers and DH gets in a strop when it turns out that he's wrong sometimes when he's really annoyed me I will go and fact check and point out his error.
I think it's definitely a man thing if I didn't know something for sure I would use "I think" or "I've read" so if I say I'm sure or know something for a fact then I really do know it.
I think because they bullshit a lot of the time they think that everyone else does it and that's why they don't believe you.

KingsCross88 Thu 20-Apr-17 12:44:35

One of the many deaths by a thousand cuts of a relationship

I like that phrase. And yes, being with someone who repeatedly tells or shows you that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth shit is one way to kill love - or smash your partners' self-esteem into the ground.

Maggy74653 Thu 20-Apr-17 12:46:44

Ha, this is like my husband, he drives me crackers!! I will tell him something and he doesn't believe me unless it comes from someone else. I can't even think of an example off the top of my head but I will say something, he will say umm I'm not sure, or I don't think so etc. Then two weeks later someone else will tell him the same thing and he comes and tells me like it's amazing new information. So many times I have turned around and said I literally told you that a few days ago. Drives me crazy! confused

QuirstThenching Thu 20-Apr-17 12:46:48


Yes! This!

My DH has his sulky 'you're always right, aren't you' response, but that's exactly it, I don't insist I'm right unless I actually know I'm right.

Didn't even realise I was annoyed about that, but I feel better now.

Wormulonian Thu 20-Apr-17 12:48:59

Do they know they are doing it? Is it a form of passive/aggressive behaviour?

I used to feel that it meant he had no confidence in me or my opinions.I felt it was belittling and quite controlling.

I detached and stopped answering queries e.g. what is the time ? and say - go check for yourself you will no matter what I say anyway. etc. Hard to have a conversation though.

stoopido Thu 20-Apr-17 12:53:59

He sounds argumentative. I know for a fact Cadbury's have changed their recipe and yet they claim they haven't therefore, Aldi probably has too! grin

BewtySkoolDropowt Thu 20-Apr-17 12:57:56

My ex archways did this. I'd give him advice, he'd ignore it. Someone she would give him the exact same advice and need be all over it 'john had an snagging idea, he said that I should....'

I've usually been saying that for WEEKS. And when I say that to him he's be like 'yeah, but you didn't say it the same way' or 'yeah, but he knows more about it' or 'I didn't think it would work but now someone else has said it'

We have friends that always come to me for advice because they see me as very competent, and would never have gone to him because they don't think that about him. Yet he never bloody believed me.

PuntasticUsername Thu 20-Apr-17 13:00:46

DH does this. If I told him it was raining, he'd look out the window.

BG2015 Thu 20-Apr-17 13:04:07

My OH (been together nearly 3 years) will watch me do something in the kitchen e.g. Boil an egg and will say....

OH. "oh I don't boil an egg like that, when I boil an egg it's perfect"
Me: well it's just an egg
OH: "well my eggs are always perfect, I could show you but you've started now"
Me: " I think I'm ok, I've got to 48 and I think I know how to boil an egg"

It drives me mad! He does it with loads of things. I just laugh and say we're all different - that's what makes life so interesting

But grrrr - yes I feel your pain!

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