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Aibu? Yeah go on tell me that I am....

(37 Posts)
user86950987 Thu 20-Apr-17 09:14:45

Newish potential bf, 4th time of meeting & I'm invited back to his house. We sit chatting in the lounge with a glass of wine having a pleasant time when I need the loo. So I say 'I just need to nip to the loo', all is fine, he tells me where it is upstairs. Oh fucking boy - when I get there there's a MASSIVE turd poking it's head out of the water! It was EVIL. Fucking enormous, never seen one so big he must have the arse of an elephant Single man living on his own, how can you forget to flush? hmm I was so taken aback & frankly horrified, it totally killed the moment for me & I made my excuses and left. I'm guessing you're all going to call me a sissy but it just killed the passion dead. To paint a broader picture, I could tell you that the upstairs of the house was VERY run-down. Think large ceiling water leaks, tiles coming off the walls, very, very thick dust everywhere (like 10yrs worth), covering about 60 pairs of the same black winkle-picker shoes rowed up neatly & a whole bookcase filled with books like Nancy Friday. - in total contrast to the very nice well kept downstairs. There was an air of rot upstairs - more than the fabric of the building. For reference I didn't poke about, that lot was visible from the loo. It just didn't feel right. Weirdly, I didn't feel so bad about the dirt & decay, it was the turd that did it for me. Was I bu?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Thu 20-Apr-17 09:17:21

YANBU that would put me right off....not the turd though although it is a bit grim, but certainly the state of the house.

Ipigglemustdie Thu 20-Apr-17 09:17:30


badabing36 Thu 20-Apr-17 09:19:29

No yanbu, if this is what he does when dating, imagine when he gets comfortable- bleurgh!

Doublevodkaredbull Thu 20-Apr-17 09:19:31

Yanbu. Ugh.

MiddleClassProblem Thu 20-Apr-17 09:20:32

Not judging the damage of the house but the dirt, no. The poo wouldn't be an issue with me if the house wasn't filthy as I have tummy issues so would benefit of the doubt an unexpected floater but with a dirty house too it makes it gross.

Besides it's early, if you're not happy for any reason there's no reason to pursue it.

MyOtherNameIsTaken Thu 20-Apr-17 09:20:51

Vile. 🤢

Laiste Thu 20-Apr-17 09:21:45

the upstairs of the house was VERY run-down. Think large ceiling water leaks, tiles coming off the walls, very, very thick dust everywhere (like 10yrs worth), covering about 60 pairs of the same black winkle-picker shoes rowed up neatly

Everyone shits. Occasionally one outstays it's welcome even after a flush. No big deal. The above, however, would put me off.

Lilyoftheforest Thu 20-Apr-17 09:24:45

OMG that did make me laugh OP. grin

I am not sure it would have been a dealbreaker for me, (like I don't know if I would never see him again!) but I would have run for the hills yeah! I mean, it's bad enough when my DH leaves a floater! (Or skids!) But he has always flushed the loo when this happens. But a virtual stranger on a first few dates type scenario. Ewwwww,how off putting! shock


p.s. Just read the rest of your post; he does sound pretty yuk. Dump him LOL!

MatildaTheCat Thu 20-Apr-17 09:25:09

Maybe it just didn't flush away?

The rest sounds troubling. Is it a house he's doing up or inherited? If you otherwise liked him you could be misjudging. So not enough detail to say if he's a creepy filth lover or a man with poor plumbing.

But if the passions gone I'm guessing it's gone.

MiltopMighty Thu 20-Apr-17 09:26:46


Run, run like the wind.

kohl Thu 20-Apr-17 10:17:52

YANBU. i would've been out of there faster than you can say 'giant shit'.

MrsELM21 Thu 20-Apr-17 10:28:02

Bleurgh!! Head for the hills!

neonrainbow Thu 20-Apr-17 10:29:40

Well how could you sleep with him after you'd seen that!? grin

Mollyboom Thu 20-Apr-17 10:31:45

Run and don't look back.

FurryTurnip Thu 20-Apr-17 10:34:30

Did you flush it then run, or just run? Because if you just ran he is probably texting all his friends now and saying 'so I met this great woman, but she left an enormous stinky shit in my toilet'.

grumpyfish52 Thu 20-Apr-17 10:35:52


TheFifthKey Thu 20-Apr-17 10:38:10

Oh god, this is a nightmare isn't it?! I must admit there's a real sense of relief when you go to some bloke's house who you're dating and it's normal!

Floggingmolly Thu 20-Apr-17 10:40:49

envy. I'd have been out the door ten yards ahead of you.

gamerchick Thu 20-Apr-17 10:40:49

so I met this great woman, but she left an enormous stinky shit in my toilet

And then left sharpish grin

GoodDayToYou Thu 20-Apr-17 10:43:20


Seriously, if he can't look after himself he's not 'long-term material'. I'm speaking as someone who wasted years getting men like this on their feet. Don't do it to yourself - there are loads of men out there you can have a much better time with.

mistermagpie Thu 20-Apr-17 10:45:13

Similar thing happened to me although its was a one night stand scenario. I went to the loo 'after' and there were millions of skid marks in the bowl, it was horrible. I had a dilemma though because they stayed even after I flushed, but I didn't want the guy thinking it was me! (Why, and why he would have, I don't know)... so I stood there contemplating cleaning a virtual strangers toilet - not my best moment. I didn't do it obviously and made a sharp exit but ugh.

My situation was more forgivable than yours because our liaison wasn't planned, but your guy knew you were coming and still didn't clean either the toilet or the rest of the upstairs.

FanaticalFox Thu 20-Apr-17 15:27:46

YANBU. I wouldn't see him again after all that he sounds like an overgrown manchild. And if he asks why tell him the truth so he can sort it out!

Boonegirl Thu 20-Apr-17 17:02:04

Spooky, perhaps there's a dead body mouldering away upstairs!

BorpBorpBorp Thu 20-Apr-17 17:05:09

YANBU. Grim. Unless you want to spend your entire relationship reminding him to flush the toilet you are better off out.

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