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Letting DS watch the end of a film tonight, AIBU?

(50 Posts)
sailorcherries Wed 19-Apr-17 22:03:22

I had a thread a while ago, started and posted to in the midst of a complete bedtime breakdown.

Essentially, my DS who is almost 7 doesn't sleep. He has never been a great sleeper and we have tried everything from white noise to co sleeping to cio to sitting in his room to essential oils and all sorts. We have a consistent bedtime routine, of bath/shower, book and bed but despite this DS is never asleep before 10pm. We start bedtime at around 9pm as a result and I sit for about 30-40mins outside his room door (door open) until he nods off. We progressively moved his bedtime later as, at times, I was sitting for almost double or triple the amount of time before he nodded off.

During the night he wakes like clockwork at 2am and then 4am, sometimes only 4am if I'm lucky. He is taken back to bed and I sit until he's asleep.

We've been to the gp twice, school nurse, HV and a sleep clinic who have told me I'm doing all the right things and he'll grow put of it eventually. No medication will be issued.

He is up before 8am every morning and is bright as a button all day, no behavioural issues. The later bed time isn't affecting him and he regularly gets between 9 and 10 hours a night.

I'm due a elcs in 4 weeks (26 days). I hurt and I'm tired and I'm not sleeping (once DS wakes at 4am I'm up for the day, thank god for mat leave!). Tonight we skipped the story and instead I told him he could finish watching Matilda, which ended just there. My mum text me and I told her about the film. She has proceeded to go off on one and told me it's lazy and so on and so forth.

Aibu to let him do this once for a bit of a break? He isn't awake any later than normal and he actually sat in his room, alone, at night time for the first time ever. He's nodding off now so won't be out of sleep.

I'm really unsure when it comes to bedtime, for all the reasons listed above.

foofoo001 Wed 19-Apr-17 22:08:06

Don't worry about it, I would do the same.

Allthewaves Wed 19-Apr-17 22:10:42

Can he read yet? My dc goes up with a book, has bedside light and he's allowed to read.

Why do you need to sit with him

gleam Wed 19-Apr-17 22:11:08

Do you think he'd quietly read a book when he wakes in the night, if you let him?

squirre1 Wed 19-Apr-17 22:12:46

YANBU. Go with the sound like you've got enough on your plate atm.

Allthewaves Wed 19-Apr-17 22:12:50

Honestly at 2 am and 4am he'd be getting some tough love, shown back to bed and left.

QueenArseClangers Wed 19-Apr-17 22:13:38

Our DS is like this. He's being assessed for ASD.
Would audiobooks be of use? Our lad loves listening to Harry Potter before sleeping. flowers

BernieKosar Wed 19-Apr-17 22:13:44

Of course it's fine as a one off.

If it helps, my 7 yr old terrible sleeper is now an 11 yr old who would sleep in till about 9am if I let him.

Allthewaves Wed 19-Apr-17 22:14:16

loads of my friends send their kids to bed with ipads to watch a movie. i

Patriciathestripper1 Wed 19-Apr-17 22:16:54

Have you tried talking books? My Dd nods off to them every night smile

Kitsandkids Wed 19-Apr-17 22:18:18

If he's 7 with no SN I would not be putting up with him waking you at 2 and 4. I don't cope well with little sleep so would be very cross with a child that age waking me up for no reason. I'd give him very clear expectations - he cannot get out of bed until X time but can read quietly if he really can't sleep etc.

As for the film, doesn't sound like it will have done him any harm and has nothing to do with your mum.

MusicToMyEars800 Wed 19-Apr-17 22:18:42

there's nothing wrong with doing it once in a while, sounds like you are doing a great job with the routine etc so just keep it up and take no notice of you DM, I also recommend the reading, I was like you DS as a child and my DM used to let me read until I fell asleep, I grew out of it too.

sailorcherries Wed 19-Apr-17 22:20:25

He is a very good reader but at night time he prefers me to read to him (Roald Dahl etc, so a bit out of his league).

His other books he gets bored with too quickly.

When he wakes in the middle of the night he isn't awake enough to read, he's normally asleep within 10 minutes and I'm back to bed too. The third tri insomnia is killing me atm though (but at least I'm used to broken sleep so a newborn won't be too much change).

allthewaves we have tried tough love, for a good chunk of time at a time. It ends up with him shaking, throwing up and getting in a right state. In the end it wasn't worth it as it made things worse.

queen a few people have mentioned asd in relation to DS but so far no health professionals seem to think that is the case. They do think it might be anxiety related or something though. I had actually thought about getting HarryPotter audio books as DS loves the books.

Well he's snoring away and I've only sat here for 15 minutes while having 40 minutes earlier to just lie and read. Bliss!
I often wonder if his snoring is the issue during the night. It is loud and always has been.

sailorcherries Wed 19-Apr-17 22:23:06

kits health professionals have dismissed any SEN but a lot of other people have gently suggested it. It seems to be dismissed because he functions well during the day, attends clubs, socialises and performs well in school.

His waking is less than 10 minutes, something I've possibly learned to cope with. Certainly better than what did happen when I did try to leave him.
He is never fully awake, pops in and I hear him. I take him to his room and he's back in bed with his eyes closed.

Ameliablue Wed 19-Apr-17 22:23:19

We would sometimes let mine have watch something instead of a story. I found my eldest actually slept better. Stories tended to stimulate her more.

yellowfrog Wed 19-Apr-17 22:30:10

Snoring? Has he been assessed for sleep apnoea? No idea if kids get it, but it might tie in with weirdly disturbed sleep

yellowfrog Wed 19-Apr-17 22:34:48

Follow-up to that - a bit of a google suggests they can indeed get sleep apnea, and it can disturb sleep. Also says to take kids to GP if they snore, so that would be worth a try

Biffsboys Wed 19-Apr-17 22:40:00

My ds goes to bed every night watching a movie , it gets put on and he's normally asleep in 10 mins . I found being in the room reading to him made him want to stay awake . Don't beat yourself up - just do what works for you and your family flowers

sailorcherries Wed 19-Apr-17 22:41:22

I hadn't actually thought about the snoring until recently but with me being fully awake at 4am it's more noticeable.
I am going to take him and see, but he has a cold atm so I'll wait until that goes away so I'm not fobbed off with it being related (it isn't, he has always snored).

sailorcherries Wed 19-Apr-17 22:42:34

And thank you everyone.
I always feel like I can't do right for doing wrong with his bed time and it did, at one point, become something I dreaded each day.

Kalizahara Wed 19-Apr-17 22:49:18

Do you think he might be sleepwalking when he gets up in the early hours?

sailorcherries Wed 19-Apr-17 23:01:01

Not quite sleepwalking no, but certainly more asleep than awake.

sailorcherries Wed 19-Apr-17 23:02:13

In the end he's apparently just a shit sleeper but should either grow out of it or grow up enough to deal with it on his own by reading etc.

I'm not sure which will come first.

ClemDanfango Wed 19-Apr-17 23:03:32

Frankly it's none of her business and I'd be telling her so.

hopefulclam Wed 19-Apr-17 23:18:25

I don't have any advice but you can get all the Harry Potter audiobooks for free on YouTube, and can download the using YouTube converter flowers

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