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AIBU?

To have checked 15 year olds FB.

93 replies

SallyCanWait · 19/04/2017 21:57

Ds (15) asked to stay over at his friends tonight. I know the boy and his parents so that was fine. I felt he was acting a bit shifty and just had a feeling that there was something going on.

Anyway, rightly or wrongly I managed to access his FB that he was still logged onto on his laptop after he left.

It turns out he's going to a get together with all his friends and messages I have seen on Messenger between him and his friends are arranging where they will get alcohol. This is at his girlfriend's house so it looks like he is planning to stay the night and this friend is just a cover up.

In one of the messages he asked one of his work colleagues (weekend job) if he can get him beer and cider. This person said yes and arranged to meet him at 7pm tonight.This is the last message sent.

I know it's a total invasion of privacy but what the hell do I do from here?

I don't want to go all guns blazing like a neurotic mother but thinking worst case scenarios in my head.

OP posts:

Report

MrsDc7 · 19/04/2017 21:58

That's a mega tricky one. He shouldn't be drinking and could get into trouble... but if you tell him you looked at his Facebook you will destroy all trust. Hmm... tricky one. Hopefully someone will be along with some advice!

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 19/04/2017 21:59

I'd ask for the pals parents telephone number so you can check with them if it's OK for him to stay till xxx time as you have lunch the next day/work/whatever.

Watch him squuuuuuirm

MrsDc7 · 19/04/2017 21:59

Couldn't you say you spoke to the friends mum and she told you they weren't there?

MrsDc7 · 19/04/2017 22:00

Think he's already gone Troll. Unless she rings him and asks

StiickEmUp · 19/04/2017 22:00

Unless you've got an agreement you control his FB then nothing you can do.

My mum used to call this 'curiosity killed the cat'

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 19/04/2017 22:01

OK, minor family emergency and you called the other parent and he's not there so where the fuck is he?

If he is not home by xxx then he isn't getting x, x, x and computer is confiscated as is phone.

LovingLola · 19/04/2017 22:01

Text the friend's mother.
Then call your son and tell him that you know he is not at his friend's house - that you have been in contact with the friend's mother and you know he is not there.

SallyCanWait · 19/04/2017 22:02

I've just had another look at messages and the boy who he said he was staying with has told ds that his dad will cover for him if I ask any questions.Pretty shocked at that.

OP posts:

WeAllHaveWings · 19/04/2017 22:03

Can you text the friends mum to ask a question about anything, can the recommend a roofer, hairdresser or something, the end text with thanks for letting ds stay at yours this evening and overnight.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 19/04/2017 22:04

Fs. I hate 'cool' parents.

Text him and tell him to.come home. Don't tell him how you know or what you know- silent treatment and let him drop himself in it

MrsDc7 · 19/04/2017 22:07

Yeah good idea Troll... he doesn't need to know how you found out OP. Might make him more cautious next time he considers lying to you

SallyCanWait · 19/04/2017 22:08

Ive tried calling him it's just ringing out.

This boys dad apparently said that if ds gets into any bother he'll come looking for him as it's him who will get into trouble. Fs

OP posts:

AuntMabel · 19/04/2017 22:08

YANBU. He is 15 - still a child. He gave you reason to doubt him, now you know why. Do you know where he is?

SallyCanWait · 19/04/2017 22:12

I know the street he's in. Not the exact house. Going by the group chat between everyone who is going it sounds like a chilled night, not a mad party but who knows how that could turn with alcohol in the mix. I hate the lying and sneaking about.

OP posts:

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 19/04/2017 22:13

I'd go chap on every door. Humiliate the wee shite

SallyCanWait · 19/04/2017 22:15

I'm so tempted Troll!

OP posts:

PayRiseDilemma · 19/04/2017 22:17

I only have pre teens so no idea, but watching with interest as I am dreading this stage!

tallulahbalghar · 19/04/2017 22:17

Any chance you could go to friends house with something your ds has forgotten? Charger, headphones anything really

AuntMabel · 19/04/2017 22:18

If my DD pulls a stunt like this I would like to think I would stay calm, but I would probably go Liam "I will hunt you down" Neeson on her.

Drive there, text him and tell him you're outside and he has 5 minutes to come out before you're coming in?

Footle · 19/04/2017 22:19

Always, always get their home addresses and contact number for both parents if possible.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 19/04/2017 22:20

Yes seconding aunt mabel.

Get him to surrender.

At that age I remember thinking my parents were stupid and I could do what I wanted.

creaser · 19/04/2017 22:23

Go get him he's your son he's 15 he's lied it's his own fault. Pile on the guilt if only he'd told the truth you may have considered it now you can't trust him. Don't tell him about FB.

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abbsisspartacus · 19/04/2017 22:23

I would call the dad tell him there has been a family emergency

SallyCanWait · 19/04/2017 22:26

I have the contact number and address for the boy he told me he was staying with but he's not there Footie.

I'm going to give it half an hour and see if he answers my call/text. I texted him to ask him to call me as there's a family emergency...

OP posts:

Crashbangwhatausername · 19/04/2017 22:29

If his phone is ringing he likely has it, I would text him with some emergency and you're on your way to pick him up from 'friends' house and wait for reply

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