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To have checked 15 year olds FB.

(94 Posts)
SallyCanWait Wed 19-Apr-17 21:57:09

Ds (15) asked to stay over at his friends tonight. I know the boy and his parents so that was fine. I felt he was acting a bit shifty and just had a feeling that there was something going on.

Anyway, rightly or wrongly I managed to access his FB that he was still logged onto on his laptop after he left.

It turns out he's going to a get together with all his friends and messages I have seen on Messenger between him and his friends are arranging where they will get alcohol. This is at his girlfriend's house so it looks like he is planning to stay the night and this friend is just a cover up.

In one of the messages he asked one of his work colleagues (weekend job) if he can get him beer and cider. This person said yes and arranged to meet him at 7pm tonight.This is the last message sent.

I know it's a total invasion of privacy but what the hell do I do from here?

I don't want to go all guns blazing like a neurotic mother but thinking worst case scenarios in my head.

MrsDc7 Wed 19-Apr-17 21:58:46

That's a mega tricky one. He shouldn't be drinking and could get into trouble... but if you tell him you looked at his Facebook you will destroy all trust. Hmm... tricky one. Hopefully someone will be along with some advice!

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Wed 19-Apr-17 21:59:22

I'd ask for the pals parents telephone number so you can check with them if it's OK for him to stay till xxx time as you have lunch the next day/work/whatever.

Watch him squuuuuuirm

MrsDc7 Wed 19-Apr-17 21:59:43

Couldn't you say you spoke to the friends mum and she told you they weren't there?

MrsDc7 Wed 19-Apr-17 22:00:17

Think he's already gone Troll. Unless she rings him and asks

StiickEmUp Wed 19-Apr-17 22:00:43

Unless you've got an agreement you control his FB then nothing you can do.

My mum used to call this 'curiosity killed the cat'

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Wed 19-Apr-17 22:01:41

OK, minor family emergency and you called the other parent and he's not there so where the fuck is he?

If he is not home by xxx then he isn't getting x, x, x and computer is confiscated as is phone.

LovingLola Wed 19-Apr-17 22:01:53

Text the friend's mother.
Then call your son and tell him that you know he is not at his friend's house - that you have been in contact with the friend's mother and you know he is not there.

SallyCanWait Wed 19-Apr-17 22:02:14

I've just had another look at messages and the boy who he said he was staying with has told ds that his dad will cover for him if I ask any questions.Pretty shocked at that.

WeAllHaveWings Wed 19-Apr-17 22:03:13

Can you text the friends mum to ask a question about anything, can the recommend a roofer, hairdresser or something, the end text with thanks for letting ds stay at yours this evening and overnight.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Wed 19-Apr-17 22:04:43

Fs. I hate 'cool' parents.

Text him and tell him to.come home. Don't tell him how you know or what you know- silent treatment and let him drop himself in it

MrsDc7 Wed 19-Apr-17 22:07:45

Yeah good idea Troll... he doesn't need to know how you found out OP. Might make him more cautious next time he considers lying to you grin

SallyCanWait Wed 19-Apr-17 22:08:13

Ive tried calling him it's just ringing out.

This boys dad apparently said that if ds gets into any bother he'll come looking for him as it's him who will get into trouble. Fs

AuntMabel Wed 19-Apr-17 22:08:39

YANBU. He is 15 - still a child. He gave you reason to doubt him, now you know why. Do you know where he is?

SallyCanWait Wed 19-Apr-17 22:12:19

I know the street he's in. Not the exact house. Going by the group chat between everyone who is going it sounds like a chilled night, not a mad party but who knows how that could turn with alcohol in the mix. I hate the lying and sneaking about.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Wed 19-Apr-17 22:13:26

I'd go chap on every door. Humiliate the wee shite grin

SallyCanWait Wed 19-Apr-17 22:15:01

I'm so tempted Troll!

PayRiseDilemma Wed 19-Apr-17 22:17:02

I only have pre teens so no idea, but watching with interest as I am dreading this stage!

tallulahbalghar Wed 19-Apr-17 22:17:06

Any chance you could go to friends house with something your ds has forgotten? Charger, headphones anything really

AuntMabel Wed 19-Apr-17 22:18:43

If my DD pulls a stunt like this I would like to think I would stay calm, but I would probably go Liam "I will hunt you down" Neeson on her.

Drive there, text him and tell him you're outside and he has 5 minutes to come out before you're coming in?

Footle Wed 19-Apr-17 22:19:42

Always, always get their home addresses and contact number for both parents if possible.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Wed 19-Apr-17 22:20:28

Yes seconding aunt mabel.

Get him to surrender.

At that age I remember thinking my parents were stupid and I could do what I wanted.

creaser Wed 19-Apr-17 22:23:12

Go get him he's your son he's 15 he's lied it's his own fault. Pile on the guilt if only he'd told the truth you may have considered it now you can't trust him. Don't tell him about FB.

abbsisspartacus Wed 19-Apr-17 22:23:57

I would call the dad tell him there has been a family emergency

SallyCanWait Wed 19-Apr-17 22:26:26

I have the contact number and address for the boy he told me he was staying with but he's not there Footie.

I'm going to give it half an hour and see if he answers my call/text. I texted him to ask him to call me as there's a family emergency...

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