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Am I being selfish?

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greyhairdontcare Wed 19-Apr-17 13:39:00

Please tell me if I'm being selfish. And sorry for the long post...

Nearly 2 years ago we decided to move to Surrey to be closer to my family (parents and brother/wife/kids) and for better schools (the only secondary school here is pretty dire) and we had 2 boys in yr5 and 6 at the time. We rented somewhere whilst trying to sell our cottage.

After a couple of months I discovered I was pregnant (not planned) and my DH decided we couldn't afford to live in Surrey, and buy a 4 bed house especially as our house wasn't selling so we moved back (to our 3 bed cottage in the country).

The thing is after our youngest was born I didn't realise quite how much I'd miss my family and how isolating it is living in the country with a little one.
The secondary school is even worse than I thought it would be. My eldest says he enjoys it but his grades are slipping and he's not as sociable as he once was. He has a different teacher each week for science and maths and 2 headteachers have left since he started in Sept.

What do we do?? Move back to Surrey? (We could probably afford a 3 bed house at a push) or am I being selfish moving the kids around again? They don't want to leave here.

I'm really unhappy and it's affecting my relationship with DH as we don't get to spend any time together as a couple. There are no babysitting options really. DH's parents are local but aren't really interested in the kids so I'm with LO 24/7 and DH is too knackered at the end of the day to take over.

DH who now has a 3 hour a day commute to London says we should just 'wait and see' what happens when our middle child starts the secondary school and maybe we should move to the nearest town (a tiny market town) within the next couple of years so kids can be closer to friends.

Am I being unreasonable even thinking of uprooting everyone again??

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